At the beginning of September, I wrote asking if readers had questions for Anthony, the man who murdered my dad, or myself. And there was, in fact, one question posed by Mark Alman (for each of us). I sent the question to Anthony, and His response (as well as mine) can be found below. ~ For Anthony: “I have been thinking a lot about pain recently and how pain drives us to do wrong things. I believe in my life my most egregious sins were driven by pain. I wonder if you felt that yours were as well?” – Mark Anthony’s response: Yes, Mark. In my life, as well, my worst sin was driven by pain. Men tend to manifest hurt into anger. I think it’s programmed into us! When the Holy Spirit comes into us, we also receive His blessings, or fruit––love, peace, patience, etc––but when we get hurt and…
Archive for the ‘Spiritual Battle’ Category
Will God fail me? I think if we’re honest with ourselves, we’ve all asked this question––either consciously or unconsciously––at one time or another. In fact, it may be this very question that underlies our inability to give ourselves fully to God and His purposes in our lives. We think, perhaps God doesn’t love me. Perhaps God is too busy or too majestic to care about one individual such as myself. Or even if He does love me, even if He cares, He certainly doesn’t care about each intricate detail of my life. Will God pull through? Doubts come. Questions arise. All of which are a part of the normal process of faith. But I think the real question behind all our doubts is: Does God really love me? This is the real doubt behind our unwillingness to surrender. It all comes back to love. We were created to be loved and to love others….
Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children. – Deuteronomy 4:9 Anthony claimed he was a Christian at the time of the murder, and I had a real problem with this. As a non-Christian and even after coming to Christ, I didn’t understand how someone who professed faith in Jesus could do something like this. Doesn’t a sin of this magnitude disqualify you from being a Christian? You can’t claim to be a Christian and commit murder, I thought. Recently, however, when telling me about a book he was reading by Kyle Idleman called Not a Fan, Anthony said, “I wonder, had I not come to prison would I have stayed a fan of Jesus or become a follower?…
If you’re completely honest with yourself, there is tension between who you want to be and who you currently are. [Tweet that] The whole world currently exists in the already but not yet. Jesus already came. He died for our sins. He resurrected, conquering death, sin, and Satan. We have already been redeemed by our gracious, loving God. But we have yet to see Him make all things new, which He will do upon His second coming. We have already been saved but not yet perfected. We are already saints by identity but not yet by deed. This can be a frustrating place to be. In Romans, Paul, himself, experienced this tension. He says: For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate…. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I…
A few weeks ago, the Holy Spirit challenged me with this: Have I been seeking God for what He can do for me or do I simply want Him? Ouch. Well, I think you can imagine what my answer was at the time. But it wasn’t always this way. When I was first saved (and for quite a while after) I was on fire for Jesus. I was seeking Him to know Him better. I was learning much about the character of God. I would pick up my Bible and simply devour every word, much like a novel you just can’t seem to put down. I couldn’t get enough of Him. I was thirsty. Thirsty for His Word. Thirsty for Him. He took me through some rough seasons. Taught me things beyond me. Things that blew my mind. He poured His grace upon my life. Allowed me to forgive the unforgivable…