My dad died thirteen years ago yesterday. It’s hard to believe thirteen years have passed. It’s all still a bit surreal. My life seems to be somewhat of a paradox. Tragedy weaves throughout the storyline of my life, yet God has given me a good life––full of many joys, many blessings, and yes, much heartache. Honestly, I miss my dad. I think I always will. But my dad’s absence is always a bit more real on the anniversary of his death. Three years ago, on August 5th, I found myself writing my fourth letter to Anthony. All doors had closed. I wasn’t going to be able to visit him in prison as I was hoping to. Yet, I was committed to pursuing forgiveness and peace through our correspondence. In my letter, I wrote: Ironically, I’m writing you on the tenth anniversary of my dad’s death. While in a way, it does…
Archive for the ‘Obedience to God’ Category
I’ve been a follower of Christ for only four years now, but I can honestly say that the last four years have been an adventure without parallel. I sat in on a church service last weekend. The pastor asked his congregation, “Who here thinks of your walk with God as an adventure?” No hands went up. It seems to me that most Christians fail to recognize the adventure God calls them to. As Christ followers, we are not called to bunker down and simply hang on until the rapture. But instead, we’re called to join the mission of God in this world. And what a mission it is. Brokenness: The Need We needn’t look too far to see brokenness throughout the world. Sin. Darkness. Pain. Enslavement. Fear. They’re all there for us to see. If we take a closer look, we see children orphaned and dying on the streets each day, without anyone to love…
There comes a time that we need to right the wrongs we’ve committed against others. [Tweet that] I was a baby Christian when this time came for me. Jesus whispered the words “it’s time to forgive,” and I began to search my soul. Anthony––the man who murdered my dad––was the obvious one that needed my attention, but there were others I needed to forgive as well. My unforgiving heart ran deep. There was the girl I hated in high school. There was the man who witnessed for the defense in my dad’s murder trial yet had once called my dad friend. There was my dad’s ex-wife. And there were even some family members. Apparently, this German-Irish girl knew how to hold onto grudges. But it was time to let them go. [Tweet that] As I did, I was given perspective, and I began to see how my behavior contributed to the issues…
“Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.” – John 17:17 “Change is not possible,” says the naysayer. “We will always be the same. You can’t change who you are.” True. But God can. The naysayer is correct. We can’t change ourselves. Though we may be able to change our behavior, we can’t will ourselves into any lasting change. But the moment we lay our lives down before Jesus, we are new, and God does change us. So, change is possible, but it can only be attained through Jesus. So, how do we change? Jesus tells us in John 17:17 that God’s truth leads to transformation. It is His Word that leads us through the process of sanctification, which is a fancy, theological word for being made more like Jesus. Sanctification is change. Lasting change. As a baby Christian I remember picking up my Bible, being told it’s what good…
I’m seeing that the Christian life is NOT a life of passivity but a life of choices empowered by the Holy Spirit. – My prayer journal, May 13, 2010 The Christian life is not one marked by passivity, but instead, it requires that we step out in faith, empowered by the Holy Spirit, to do whatever it is Jesus calls us to. Following Jesus means that we get off the couch and do something. [tweet that] When I first became a Christian, (only about a year before I was called on my crazy journey with Anthony) I was under the impression that Christianity should be characterized more by a “let go and let God” theology than one that requires action. But, when Jesus called me to love and forgive the very man who murdered my dad, this paradigm was shattered. I was presented with commands. Forgive. Love your enemy. How…
I had a feeling something was still there. Some residual scarring caused by my dad’s murder. In a way, I wanted to go there. Get it all out. Heal completely. But at the same time, I feared what would be found. I sure hope I’m not really screwed up, I thought. But I knew some soul work needed to be done. Digging would have to take place. And the root of whatever was left behind would have to be excavated and restored. I tried to do this on my own for nine years after Dad died. I tried to “pick myself up by my bootstraps” and move on, reasoning that Dad would have wanted it this way. He wouldn’t want me to succumb to the wave of despair that threatened to swallow me whole. So, I moved on. Each time the thought of Anthony came into my mind, I chose…
I’ve been talking a lot about repentance, and I know it can become a weighty topic, to say the least. But I feel like God has empowered me in this area recently, and I just have to pass this along. I’ve been feeling convicted lately about several sins in my life. And maybe it’s just me, but do you ever feel like you need to repent but you need to wait for the empowerment of God to do so? [Tweet that] Well, this is where I found myself last week. During my quiet time with God, I decided to begin reading Romans. I opened it up, read the first paragraph, and that was just about enough for the day. I needed to digest what I read, so I read it again. And again. Toward the end of that paragraph, Paul says, “through [Jesus] we have received grace and apostleship to…
And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven….” – Matthew 18:2-3 Lord, I can’t do this without you, I prayed. Help me. Give me wisdom. Show me the way, and I will follow. I can’t tell you how often I uttered these words throughout my correspondence with Anthony, the man who murdered my dad. I was under no illusion I could take even one step without clear direction from Jesus during this difficult journey. I was terrified to be outside of His will, for I knew things could go very wrong in a situation like this apart from God. Each time I received a letter, my emotions ran high. I wanted to react quickly, with little grace. I wanted to rebuke Anthony. Set him straight. I wanted him…
The Gospel tells us about God. It tells us about our fallen nature. It tells us we serve a merciful and gracious God, who had every reason to simply write off humanity, but instead, choose to die on our behalf. It speaks of redemption, that we have been redeemed and are being made new. And finally it speaks of restoration, that one day, all things will be made new, and we will live eternally in the presence of God. All of creation proclaims God’s truths to humanity, but God, Himself, also speaks to each of us, through His Word and in many other subtle ways throughout our lives. Every time we come to Him, He honors us with His teaching. Jesus tells us in Matthew 11:29, “Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” All we must…
“Your testimony may have saved a life!” wrote Anthony––the man who murdered my dad––from his prison cell. Holding the letter, I stood in stunned silence, tears rolling down my face. Oh Lord, I thought, as I closed my eyes and dropped my head back, in awe. There really were no words. Thank you, Lord, thank you, was all that I could say in worship to our mighty God. I was called to forgive. To love my enemy. To allow Jesus unhindered access to the pain, the bitterness, and the wounds of my past which took residence in the deepest recess of my soul. I knew that He wanted to take me to a new, better place. A place of healing, peace, and forgiveness. So, I followed. By the grace of God alone, I followed Jesus as He led me down the messy, war-torn path toward wholeness. It was a trial like no…