Loss | Laurie Coombs

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{Lessons Learned} I Am Not a Victim

Posted on: June 18th, 2013 by Laurie Coombs 9 Comments

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I never intended to be a victim. Shortly after my dad was murdered, my family and I were referred to the victim services department at the courthouse. It was the first time we were called victims. But honestly, I didn’t consider myself to be the victim. My dad was the victim. But somehow, I think the victim thing crept in, and my dad’s death became the defining moment of my life. I didn’t want to be defined by this tragedy, but I was. I became the girl whose dad was murdered. I hated being this person. I hated being a murder victim’s daughter, but as far as I saw it, it’s who I was. I couldn’t escape it. I guess I am a victim, I finally concluded. At this time in my life, I was very much in the world. I didn’t know God, and I certainly wasn’t following Jesus yet….

{LeannePenny.com} Can Jesus Really Redeem Our Losses?

Posted on: June 14th, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

Today, I’m over at Leanne Penny’s blog, sharing my story, focusing upon loss and redemption. Leanne has quite a story herself. She writes about loss, grief, grace, and hope. I know you’ll find her to be a source of strength along your own journey, so go ahead, check her out! But here’s the question I pose today on Leanne’s blog: Can Jesus really redeem our losses? It’s an appropriate question, I think, one that I struggled with for quite some time. And I hope you’ll join me as I attempt to answer this question in my post titled Can Jesus Really Redeem Our Losses? If you’re joining me from Leanne’s blog, I’m happy you’re here. Welcome! I hope you’ll take a moment and stay a while. One More Thing Okay, I have only one more thing to share, so stick with me! Since writing my post for Leanne, God has given me…

{Lessons Learned} Healing the Broken Places

Posted on: May 16th, 2013 by Laurie Coombs 3 Comments

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I didn’t want to go digging around my past, but I knew I needed to. I knew some residual effects of my dad’s murder had to still be there. As I walked through some of the most difficult times in the weeks, months, and years following the murder, I remember thinking I sure hope this doesn’t screw me up. My dad wasn’t married at the time of his death which meant that my brother, sister, and I were legally responsible for picking up the pieces when he died. Our extended family helped quite a bit––as much as they could, really, which I am so thankful for––but there was only so much they could do. My mom, however, was the backbone that held us all together, and I will forever be grateful to her for that. She played an integral part in the process of helping us wade through all the mess. (Thank you,…

{Lessons Learned} Do You Need Jesus to Forgive?

Posted on: April 25th, 2013 by Laurie Coombs 1 Comment

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I had a feeling something was still there. Some residual scarring caused by my dad’s murder. In a way, I wanted to go there. Get it all out. Heal completely. But at the same time, I feared what would be found. I sure hope I’m not really screwed up, I thought. But I knew some soul work needed to be done. Digging would have to take place. And the root of whatever was left behind would have to be excavated and restored. I tried to do this on my own for nine years after Dad died. I tried to “pick myself up by my bootstraps” and move on, reasoning that Dad would have wanted it this way. He wouldn’t want me to succumb to the wave of despair that threatened to swallow me whole. So, I moved on. Each time the thought of Anthony came into my mind, I chose…

{Lessons Learned} Healing Comes With Greater Understanding

Posted on: March 23rd, 2013 by Laurie Coombs 5 Comments

In this brief video, I speak about how Jesus led me toward emotional healing from my past. Healing only came once I surrendered myself completely to Jesus and allowed Him complete access to my pain. Be sure to watch to hear about how Jesus brought me greater understanding which led to healing. Healing Comes With Greater Understanding from Laurie Coombs on Vimeo. {Greater understanding of the situations in our past can lead us toward healing.} Question: Has Jesus healed you emotionally from your past? What was your experience? Share in the comments.

{Lessons Learned} No Sin is Justifiable: How Anthony Stopped Justifying Murder

Posted on: March 18th, 2013 by Laurie Coombs 7 Comments

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Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. – Ephesians 4:26-27 There is always a reason behind the sins we commit. There is a reason I sometimes lose it and yell at my kids. There is a reason I find myself rooting through my pantry, looking for something to fill me (though I’m not hungry), when I should be going to Jesus to be filled instead. And there was a reason I stood in condemnation of Anthony, the man who murdered my dad, unable to forgive him for a decade. Honestly, there are times when the reasons behind our sins seem legitimate. Sometimes our kids need to be disciplined. Sometimes we need to be filled. Sometimes we have been wronged. The feelings we feel are legitimate. Sometimes, for example, we should be angry about the sins and…

{Lessons Learned} We Are No Better Than Repentant Murderers

Posted on: March 11th, 2013 by Laurie Coombs 8 Comments

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…all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God – Romans 3:23 You are no better than him, I felt the Lord say to me. I was taken by surprise. Stunned, really. I had just gotten another letter from Anthony, the man who murdered my dad. I was angry and was contemplating what Anthony wrote, while crying out to God, How could he? How could he think that? Why doesn’t he see the truth? Who does he think he is? Then came the rebuke, You are no better than him. I fell silent and was put in my place, instantly. All my judgement, all my condemnation came to an immediate and abrupt stop, and I knew––I am no better than the man who murdered my own dad. [Tweet that] It was a difficult truth to swallow. Truths like these don’t usually sit well. Perhaps it’s because we’re listening to the world,…

{Lessons Learned} All Sin is Forgivable (Except Blasphemy Against the Spirit)

Posted on: March 7th, 2013 by Laurie Coombs 10 Comments

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“Truly, I say to you, all sins will be forgiven the children of man, and whatever blasphemies they utter, but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin” —Mark 3:28-29 For years, I didn’t want to think that the man who took my dad away could experience any joy in this life, let alone be forgiven by God and go to heaven. Yet, I was blinded to the ways of God at this time and didn’t have a proper understanding of sin. All sins will be forgiven for those who place their trust in Jesus. Not just the sins that seem small in our eyes. All. Yet there is one offense, Jesus tells us, that is the exception––blasphemy against the Holy Spirit (attributing the work of the Holy Spirit to Satan––see Mark 3:22-27), which He calls an eternal sin. All other sins, however, are forgivable…

A New Creation: The Old Has Passed Away

Posted on: March 3rd, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

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While at a holiday party a few months ago, I ran into an old friend I hadn’t seen in quite some time. We were roommates in college (while Travis and I were dating) and were living together at the time of my dad’s death. He knew me pretty well back then, but after graduating from college, we saw each other only occasionally and lost touch. I sat down next to him at the party, and before I knew it, he asked me about my writing. “I heard you’re writing,” he said. “What do you write about?” The last time I talked with him, I wasn’t even a Christian yet (nor is he a Christian now). I knew my answer would not be what he’d expect. I told him how I became a Christian. How I was given the proof and grace I needed to believe in Jesus. And how Jesus…

The Question

Posted on: February 11th, 2013 by Laurie Coombs 4 Comments

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This weekend, my girls asked me how my dad died. I knew this question would come at some point, and I suppose now is as good a time as any. But it’s still a crummy thing to have to tell your children. My dad died five years before my oldest daughter was born. Neither one ever knew him. They know he is my daddy. They know he is Grandpa, but I can’t help but feel that he’s only that guy in the pictures Mommy talks to them about. I hope I’ve given them a sense of who He was, and that he would have loved them. But it’s difficult for children to “get” something like that. He would have been an amazing grandpa. I was cooking dinner when the conversation came up. “How did he die?” Ella, my seven year old, asked. I’m a strong believer in telling my children the truth….