Will God fail me? I think if we’re honest with ourselves, we’ve all asked this question––either consciously or unconsciously––at one time or another. In fact, it may be this very question that underlies our inability to give ourselves fully to God and His purposes in our lives. We think, perhaps God doesn’t love me. Perhaps God is too busy or too majestic to care about one individual such as myself. Or even if He does love me, even if He cares, He certainly doesn’t care about each intricate detail of my life. Will God pull through? Doubts come. Questions arise. All of which are a part of the normal process of faith. But I think the real question behind all our doubts is: Does God really love me? This is the real doubt behind our unwillingness to surrender. It all comes back to love. We were created to be loved and to love others….
Archive for the ‘Grace’ Category
Jesus made it clear. If I were to have any impact on Anthony (the man who murdered my dad), I would have to live out the commands found in Romans 12. Jesus spoke: Repay no one evil for evil. Love your enemy. Overcome evil with good. Yet still, the questions plagued me: How? How do I overcome evil with good? How do I love Anthony? What does it look like? And then it became clear. I was to love Anthony through my words. Words hold power. As Jeff Goins recently wrote, “Words are powerful, painful, awful, and amazing tools. They can hurt, help, hinder, and heal.” I wanted my words to be used for good. I wanted them to bring light to a very dark part of my past. So when I sat down to write Anthony for the first time, I chose kindness over my feelings. I felt a strong conviction that…
There comes a time that we need to right the wrongs we’ve committed against others. [Tweet that] I was a baby Christian when this time came for me. Jesus whispered the words “it’s time to forgive,” and I began to search my soul. Anthony––the man who murdered my dad––was the obvious one that needed my attention, but there were others I needed to forgive as well. My unforgiving heart ran deep. There was the girl I hated in high school. There was the man who witnessed for the defense in my dad’s murder trial yet had once called my dad friend. There was my dad’s ex-wife. And there were even some family members. Apparently, this German-Irish girl knew how to hold onto grudges. But it was time to let them go. [Tweet that] As I did, I was given perspective, and I began to see how my behavior contributed to the issues…
“Where should we sit?” I question my thirteen year old niece. I have a mind to go right. Emily, my niece, points left. “Right there,” she says with resolve, pointing to a booth next to the window. We sit down, McDonald’s ice cream cones in hand. I have a lot of kids with me. Two, my own. Three, my sisters, including my two month old nephew. At once, all four big kids eagerly take their first lick. Soon, the baby begins to fuss, so I take him out of his infant carrier and stand, bouncing and soothing. I notice the man sitting in the booth next to ours. He looks at me, sees the kids, and smiles a warm, inviting smile. A whisper comes to my soul. Speak to him, the Lord prompts. Tell him about Me. The man looks to be about seventy or so. He has warn skin, but seems to…
I was a wreck. “I’ve spent my entire life trying to achieve and set goals for myself,” I told my husband, Travis, “and I’ve hinged all happiness on the achievement of those goals only to continuously fall short of true happiness. It’s like there’s this emptiness inside, but I don’t know how to make it go away!” I felt empty, defeated, depressed, and anxious. And I had no answers. It was a very dark place. Over and over I kept saying, I just want to feel peace. I just want peace. Yet, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t save myself. [Tweet that] Blind and Paralyzed Then, I had a dream. I dreamt I became blind and paralyzed. And when I awoke I was perplexed and greatly disturbed. I didn’t know what it meant. Perhaps it means nothing, I tried to convince myself. But still, I couldn’t shake it. Yet, it wasn’t…
Today, I’m over at Leanne Penny’s blog, sharing my story, focusing upon loss and redemption. Leanne has quite a story herself. She writes about loss, grief, grace, and hope. I know you’ll find her to be a source of strength along your own journey, so go ahead, check her out! But here’s the question I pose today on Leanne’s blog: Can Jesus really redeem our losses? It’s an appropriate question, I think, one that I struggled with for quite some time. And I hope you’ll join me as I attempt to answer this question in my post titled Can Jesus Really Redeem Our Losses? If you’re joining me from Leanne’s blog, I’m happy you’re here. Welcome! I hope you’ll take a moment and stay a while. One More Thing Okay, I have only one more thing to share, so stick with me! Since writing my post for Leanne, God has given me…
I camped out in the fifteenth chapter of the gospel of John for quite some time during my correspondence with Anthony, the man who murdered my dad. I knew I couldn’t do it on my own. I knew nothing of any value could be accomplished through my endeavor apart from Jesus. For apart from me you can do nothing. I read these words over and over. Jesus says, I am the vine. Abide in me. Abide. What does it look like to abide? I looked it up. Abide – to stay; to wait; to remain fixed in some state or condition; to endure; to sustain; to submit to… Abide in me. I clung close to the cross, I devoured God’s Word, I prayed like never before, I got down, prostrate before our mighty God and learned what it meant to abide in Jesus. And as I did, it became increasingly…
“Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.” – John 17:17 “Change is not possible,” says the naysayer. “We will always be the same. You can’t change who you are.” True. But God can. The naysayer is correct. We can’t change ourselves. Though we may be able to change our behavior, we can’t will ourselves into any lasting change. But the moment we lay our lives down before Jesus, we are new, and God does change us. So, change is possible, but it can only be attained through Jesus. So, how do we change? Jesus tells us in John 17:17 that God’s truth leads to transformation. It is His Word that leads us through the process of sanctification, which is a fancy, theological word for being made more like Jesus. Sanctification is change. Lasting change. As a baby Christian I remember picking up my Bible, being told it’s what good…
I’m seeing that the Christian life is NOT a life of passivity but a life of choices empowered by the Holy Spirit. – My prayer journal, May 13, 2010 The Christian life is not one marked by passivity, but instead, it requires that we step out in faith, empowered by the Holy Spirit, to do whatever it is Jesus calls us to. Following Jesus means that we get off the couch and do something. [tweet that] When I first became a Christian, (only about a year before I was called on my crazy journey with Anthony) I was under the impression that Christianity should be characterized more by a “let go and let God” theology than one that requires action. But, when Jesus called me to love and forgive the very man who murdered my dad, this paradigm was shattered. I was presented with commands. Forgive. Love your enemy. How…
Let all that you do be done in love. – 1 Corinthians 16:14 All that we do should be motivated by the love of God. As you may have noticed, I’ve been hung-up on this topic lately. Many of my most recent posts have had this theme, or a variation of it, threaded throughout them. But this has been a mega-theme of my life recently. Honestly, I have to confess. I think I’ve been missing the mark on this one for quite some time now, but God’s giving me grace, and He’s renewing the love I had at first, which I am unbelievably grateful for. It All Begins With Love As I’ve mentioned time and time again, my journey with Anthony began with God’s whisper, showing me my need to forgive. But then He told me I needed to love my enemy. You see, it all began with love. All the craziness that happened, all the tears,…