Show me who I am, Lord, I prayed. Show me how You see me.
Though I knew the truth, my mind was riddled with lies. And I just needed to hear Him say it. I needed my God to confirm what I knew in my head but doubted in my heart––that I am righteous and good and pure and beautiful in His sight, that I am accepted despite my many shortcomings, and that He is pleased with me regardless of my performance.
“You a child of God, Momma,” my two-year-old would not-so-randomly say to me at the time as the lyrics “I am who you say I am” continually played in my mind (Hillsong Worship).
Whispers of grace.
I am who you say I am, I’d echo in thanksgiving. It was a time of remembering. A time of speaking truth over myself. A time of coming back to where I began.
These lies had slowly crept in without notice and had proven to be an effective distraction from the things God was calling me to. I had been called to proclaim truth. To shine light in the darkness. To love as Christ loves. But I wouldn’t be able to fulfill the call on my life if I didn’t believe God’s truth for myself. If I allowed a works based mentality to cast a shadow on the light of Jesus within me. If I was not completely taken by the truth of God’s unconditional love for me.
This was a strategic play by the enemy. And I’m not the only target. If our enemy can’t stop us from pursuing God’s call on our lives, he’ll do his best to dull our senses and distract us with His lies.
“You’re being tempted with legalism,” a friend told me, and it was true. It all made perfect sense. I was like the Christians of the church of Galatia who had begun their walk with the Lord by faith and had somehow muddied the gospel with their own effort to please God.
They had lost their way. And I was starting to lose mine.
In Paul’s letter to the Galatians, he wrote, “O foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? It was before your eyes that Jesus Christ was publicly portrayed as crucified. Let me ask you only this: Did you receive the Spirit by works of the law or by hearing with faith? Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?” (Galatians 3:1-3).
This was me. Having begun by grace through faith alone (Ephesians 2:8), I had unintentionally started adding my own efforts to the mix, feeling like a failure every time I didn’t measure up. I was keeping score. But God wasn’t.
Are we called to good works? Absolutely. But grace awaits when we fall short, not condemnation. Lamentations 3:23 tells us, “[His mercies] are new every morning.” Romans 5:20 tells us, “where sin increased, grace abounded all the more.” And 2 Corinthians 12:9 tells us God’s grace is “sufficient” and His power is “made perfect in weakness.”
I love Psalm 103:13-15. It says,
“As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear Him.
For He knows our frame;
He remembers that we are dust.”
He knows our frailty. He knows our bent toward folly and sin. He knows we’re prone to wonder. And yet He is pleased with us despite our track record. Remember, we are made righteous (or right with God) by faith in what Jesus has done on our behalf, not by what we do. This is what makes the gospel such good news.
The sweetness of God’s grace.
For from His fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.
– John 1:16-17
