A few weeks ago, the Holy Spirit challenged me with this: Have I been seeking God for what He can do for me or do I simply want Him? Ouch.

Well, I think you can imagine what my answer was at the time. But it wasn’t always this way. When I was first saved (and for quite a while after) I was on fire for Jesus. I was seeking Him to know Him better. I was learning much about the character of God. I would pick up my Bible and simply devour every word, much like a novel you just can’t seem to put down. I couldn’t get enough of Him. I was thirsty. Thirsty for His Word. Thirsty for Him.

He took me through some rough seasons. Taught me things beyond me. Things that blew my mind. He poured His grace upon my life. Allowed me to forgive the unforgivable and witness His power and glory like I never thought possible.

Then, He called me to write, to share, and to declare His mighty works to the world. And I think I got all wrapped up in what He was calling me to that I somehow lost my way.

So quickly, we can go from seeing the glory of God and seeking Him out of a heart of adoration and a child-like love to seeking Him and worshiping Him because of what He does and can do for us.

It’s usually, but not always, a subtle distinction but honestly, my prayer life began looking more like this, empower me, help me, heal me, change me, sanctify me… Now these aren’t bad prayers in and of themselves, but it was my self-centered heart that shifted my focus away from where it should have been.

The difficult question I began to ask myself was this: Who is at the center of my life. To which I had to face the ugly reality that the answer was me. Not Jesus.

Today, I stand corrected. I refuse to be the center of my own existence. I refuse to allow my to-do list to be at the center of my relationship with God and treat God like an assistant instead of the only source of my existence.

But most importantly, I choose to seek God for Him. He is the end goal. Knowing and loving Him more and more each day. Spending time in silence and solitude to cultivate the intimate relationship we were all created for. This is where I want to be, and it is my prayer that you will join me there today.

{Knowing God is the end goal.}

I’ll ask you the same question that was posed to me: Have you been seeking God for what He can do for you or do you simply want Him?

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