{Lessons Learned} Forgiveness Flows Out of a Changed Heart – Part 1

Posted on May 9, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

Forgiveness––true Biblical forgiveness––requires that we have encountered and experienced the risen God. [Tweet that] It requires a changed heart.

Truly, prior to forgiving one another, we need to understand and receive the forgiveness of God. For, we cannot give something we have yet to receive, and we cannot receive apart from understanding. [Tweet that]

As I’m sure you know, the term Gospel––which refers to the work of Christ––literally means “good news.” I’ve heard many pastors say that in order for there to be good news something bad would have to be true. And until we understand the bad news, we cannot fully grasp how good the good news is. [Tweet that]

This is why we all must come to understand who we are apart from Jesus. We need to understand just how sinful we are so that the sacrifice Jesus made on our behalf––and consequently, the forgiveness He made possible––can be understood not only in our minds but in our hearts as well.

It is only when head knowledge moves to our hearts that we can fully live out of God’s truth. But until we experience this heart change, our efforts to live out the Christian life will remain frustrated. We will be unable to effectively carry out the commands of the Bible.

It is possible for us to know God’s truth––to know that Jesus died to reconcile us to God the Father. To know that Jesus forgives us through His sacrifice on the cross. To know that we are loved. To know that we are saved, and that we are forgiven. But we will never live the life God has for us until this knowledge moves to our heart and transforms us.

Remember, we must understand the bad news in order to fully grasp just how good the good news is.

And the bad news is very bad indeed. Scripture tells us that apart from Jesus, we were dead in our sin. Scripture paints a very real picture of our state outside of Christ. God uses words like dead (Ephesians 2:1), sinner (James 4:8), wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, naked (Revelation 3:17), enemies of God (Romans 5:10), having no hope and without God (Ephesians 2:12) to describe our pre-salvation state.

Believe this about yourself.

But don’t stay there. The moment you gave your life to Jesus you were made new. All that was true of who we were apart from Jesus was made void. God now uses words like new (2 Corinthians 5:17), chosen (1 Peter 2:4), saved (Ephesians 2:4), son or daughter (Romans 8:15), saints (Ephesians 2:19), beloved (Romans 9:25), and righteous (Romans 5:19) to describe those who love Him.

Still, allow your understanding of the depths of your wretchedness apart from Jesus to compel you to run into the arms of Jesus, filled with thanksgiving, love, and adoration, knowing what He has saved you from.

Never forget where Jesus found you. [Tweet that] As Martin Luther said, “Remember your baptism.”

And then from there. Pray for His grace and your relationship with Him to transform your heart and your mind. Then and only then will you be able to live out of your new nature, your new self, and extend grace and mercy to those around you.

Your ability to forgive others comes from your changed heart.

{Allow Jesus to show you the bad news in order that you might be able to experience all the joy and blessings the Gospel has to offer!}

Question: What are your thoughts? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

Romans 8:28 Rings True

Posted on May 6, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

Last Thursday began like most days. Toward the end of my quiet time with Jesus, my girls came into my bedroom in all their morning cuteness, blurry-eyed and hair a fright. We cuddled together for a moment before beginning our morning routine of showering, dressing, and the like.

My girls usually finish getting ready before I do, so they ran downstairs, busying themselves with coloring and drawing in the kitchen. Moments later, however, I heard Avery, my younger daughter, yell, “Mom, Ella poked me with a pencil!”

To which Ella replied, “But it wasn’t very hard!”

Really?!? I thought. It was all going so well.

Turns out, Ella intentionally “poked” or stabbed (to be more exact) Avery with a pencil. Not okay in my book. But after disciplining Ella, we had a serious talk about hurting others.

Ella is seven. Up to this point, we have taught her about Jesus, we’ve talked about Jesus being her Savior, but I never asked them to pray the prayer for salvation.

I didn’t want this prayer to be something forced or something they just did because they’re told it’s what they’re supposed to do. I wanted it to be authentic. From their heart. I wanted them to desire Jesus and realize they can’t do this thing called life without Him!

This would not happen through any effort of my own. This would not happen by me leading them to say a prayer asking Jesus into their heart before they had the desire. What children need––what we all need––is the grace of God.

Salvation comes by grace through faith!

It is a gift from God. And it cannot be manipulated into being.

Ella and I talked about hurting others. We talked about the condition of her heart. We talked about our need for Jesus. And I can honestly say that for the first time, she was broken over her sin, and she realized she needed Jesus.

“Have you ever prayed for Jesus to save you?” I asked.

“No,” she said, tears streaming down her face.

“Do you want Jesus in your heart? Do you want Him to save you?”

“Yes,” she said without hesitation.

We talked extensively about what that meant and about who she knew Jesus to be.

“But I want you to say the prayer,” she told me.

“No honey. Mommy can’t do that,” I said. “I pray for you all the time, but this is a prayer you need to pray.” I told her that her relationship with Jesus is something that is her own. It’s something she needs to cultivate. No one else could do it for her.

“But I don’t know what to say.”

Facing one another, we held hands and began to pray, both of us crying like babies. With genuine sincerity, my little Ella prayed a “repeat after me” prayer for Jesus to be her Lord and Savior.

What began with her committing a sin against her sister ended with her brokenness and her salvation, and I praise Jesus for His grace.

“You’re way ahead of me,” I told Ella with a smile. “I wasn’t saved until I was 29!”

“Whoa,” she said, bright-eyed.

Thank God for grace.

Since then, I’ve been thinking. My dad was saved only months before his death by Jesus through the very events that led to his murder (more on this later). I was saved as a direct result of the effects of my dad’s death. And now, my daughter has been saved as a result of my salvation.

Romans 8:28 rings true.

{Jesus is our Redeemer.}

Question: How have you seen Romans 8:28 played out in your life? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Guest Blog} I Forgive You – Written by: Anthony, my dad’s murderer

Posted on February 28, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

The latest letter arrived from prison a couple days ago. Anthony, the man who murdered my dad, said, “I sent you something I wrote, I feel God has placed this on my heart. I hope it’s something you’d consider putting on your blog.”

And to that, I say, “absolutely.” God has allowed both Anthony and I the opportunity to share this story with many. I believe it’s a story that needs to be heard, for there are many who remain chained to their past, to their resentment, their bitterness, and their lack of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a topic that will always resound in each of our hearts, mine included. It is so easy to hold on to our wounds, but what relief it is to finally let them go. [Tweet that]

So, without further adieu. Here’s a word from Anthony.

I Forgive You, By: Anthony

“I forgive you.” I read the words again. “I forgive you.” These weren’t just lightly said words from someone I had hurt with some casual remark. These words had come from the daughter of the man I had shot and killed eleven years earlier. [Tweet that]

Suddenly, the enormity of what I had done punched me right in the gut. Tears came, guilt threatened to overwhelm me. What had I done? How could I have done it? I asked God these same questions: how, why? He had always responded the same way Laurie did, “I forgive you.”

I had taken that forgiveness for granted, I mean I knew His word in 1 John 1:9 said if we confess our sins, God is faithful to forgive us, but the cost of that forgiveness began to sink in.

And how did that explain Laurie forgiving me?

Yes, God’s word also tells us in Matthew 6:14 that we are to forgive as we have been forgiven but how many of us actually do it or receive it? Especially from someone we had hurt so deeply. This is why Christ hung on that cross: forgiveness. Not cheap forgiveness in the form of words we throw around hoping to make everything better. But sacrificial, pain-filled forgiveness. Forgiveness the world can’t understand, even us sometimes.

I knew Laurie had not said these words lightly, that it was one of the hardest things she’d done. But I also knew that her relationship with Jesus would not allow her any other way, “I forgive you.”

How many of us have that kind of relationship with God? My guilty feelings weren’t only about what I’d done, but the realization that I didn’t have this kind of relationship with my Lord and Savior.

How many times had I judged another inmate because of his crime? Unforgiveness.

How many times had I angrily thought about the past? Unforgiveness.

So, when Laurie forgave me it set in motion in my life a new attitude. I wanted to know Jesus! I wanted the kind of relationship with Him that allowed me to forgive, to love, and to seek the fallen.

When you destroy someone made in God’s image, how can you make up for that? You can’t. But Jesus did, He died so that we can be forgiven. Because He did this for us, our relationship with Him must be sacrificial too. We have to forgive. How can we do anything less?

Die to self. We have to forgive even when it’s the most counterintuitive, painful, gut-wrenching thing we’ll ever do. [Tweet that] Because after that, love flows in and it fills up the space that the anger and the hate and the bitterness took up. And it just may save someone else!

Let His light shine in you. Unforgiveness dims that light. It starts with forgiveness.

Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sins are put out of sight. Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of sin. – Romans 4:7-8

{It starts with forgiveness.}

Have you experienced forgiveness like this? Or in what area do you need to experience forgiveness?

Join the discussion. Leave a comment.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

Joy in the Presence of God

Posted on February 21, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

…you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you… - Isaiah 43:4

Yesterday, I took my younger daughter, Avery, to school. She goes to Kindergarten in the afternoon. Ella, my older daughter (who’s in first grade), has recess at the time I drop Avery off.

After taking Avery to school, I got in my car and began to drive home along the street bordering the school’s playground. Whenever I drive by during recess, I scan the playground for Ella. Sometimes I find her playing with her friends, sometimes I don’t. But yesterday, as I drove slowly, I saw her sitting right on the other side of the fence, playing in the dirt with a friend.

I rolled my passenger window down. “Ella!” I shouted.

She looked, popped up from where she sat, and began running along the fence, joy upon her face, trying to keep up with my car. There were cars behind me, so I couldn’t go too slow, but she kept up, running her little heart out for the chance to simply be with her mommy. We weren’t able to talk, we weren’t able to be side-by-side, but still, I could see and feel her heart filled with joy, just given the chance to see me.

Soon, after running the length of the playground, she came to its edge. Ella stopped and waved, smiling the biggest smile her face could hold.

“I love you,” I yelled as we both waved until we could see each other no more.

My eyes welled with tears as the beauty of the moment settled into my heart, and it got me thinking. This is what God wants from us. Our hearts. This is all He wants from us. He doesn’t expect us to perform. He doesn’t expect perfection, but instead He wants us.

When asked, “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” Jesus responded, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind…”(Matthew 22:36-37, emphasis mine). He wants our love. He wants us to overflow with peace, joy, and love upon coming into His presence.

This is precisely why sin breaks God’s heart. Sin pulls our hearts away from Him.

We are loved by our Father in Heaven with an unfathomable love. He chooses us. He loves us. He reconciled us to Himself through Jesus’ death so we might expereince a relationship with Him much like the one I just experience with Ella, though greater in every way. And when we come to Him, I believe He too, is overcome with joy, for it is then that we are in the place we were created to be.

Today, let us come to Him joyfully and experience our relationship in a new way.

{God wants our hearts.}

When was the last time you experienced joy in the presence of God?

Leave a comment below.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

The Battle We Wage

Posted on December 4, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

If you’re completely honest with yourself, there is tension between who you want to be and who you currently are. [Tweet that]

The whole world currently exists in the already but not yet.

Jesus already came. He died for our sins. He resurrected, conquering death, sin, and Satan. We have already been redeemed by our gracious, loving God. But we have yet to see Him make all things new, which He will do upon His second coming.

We have already been saved but not yet perfected. We are already saints by identity but not yet by deed.

This can be a frustrating place to be.

In Romans, Paul, himself, experienced this tension. He says:

For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate….For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing…. For I delight in the law of God,in my inner being,but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretchedman that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? - Romans 7:15, 18-19, 22-24

It’s a battle each of us wage. The battle between our flesh and our new nature imparted to us by the blood of Jesus.

In my last post, I addressed the fact that we all are like the prostitute depicted in Luke 7 whether we recognize it or not. [Tweet that] Our sins are great. Not small. Our offense against our Creator loom large before us, whether we see them or not. But what amazes me (and should amaze you as well) is the fact that if we are covered by the blood of Jesus God doesn’t see our sins. He doesn’t see our record, but instead, He sees Jesus’, which is why we now have the right to come before the throne, dirty hands and all.

When Jesus died on that cross, He took every sin I have ever committed and every sin I will commit upon Himself, and in exchange, I was given Jesus’ righteousness. Despite my many, many, many shortcomings, despite my sin, despite my continual propensity to turn to other things before I turn to my God, I am loved and accepted right where I am. [Tweet that]

And you are too!

{You are loved and accepted by God right where you are.}

Do you believe this? Do you believe you are loved and accepted despite your many failings?

Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

Knowing God is the End Goal

Posted on November 27, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

A few weeks ago, the Holy Spirit challenged me with this: Have I been seeking God for what He can do for me or do I simply want Him? Ouch.

Well, I think you can imagine what my answer was at the time. But it wasn’t always this way. When I was first saved (and for quite a while after) I was on fire for Jesus. I was seeking Him to know Him better. I was learning much about the character of God. I would pick up my Bible and simply devour every word, much like a novel you just can’t seem to put down. I couldn’t get enough of Him. I was thirsty. Thirsty for His Word. Thirsty for Him.

He took me through some rough seasons. Taught me things beyond me. Things that blew my mind. He poured His grace upon my life. Allowed me to forgive the unforgivable and witness His power and glory like I never thought possible.

Then, He called me to write, to share, and to declare His mighty works to the world. And I think I got all wrapped up in what He was calling me to that I somehow lost my way.

So quickly, we can go from seeing the glory of God and seeking Him out of a heart of adoration and a child-like love to seeking Him and worshiping Him because of what He does and can do for us.

It’s usually, but not always, a subtle distinction but honestly, my prayer life began looking more like this, empower me, help me, heal me, change me, sanctify me… Now these aren’t bad prayers in and of themselves, but it was my self-centered heart that shifted my focus away from where it should have been.

The difficult question I began to ask myself was this: Who is at the center of my life. To which I had to face the ugly reality that the answer was me. Not Jesus.

Today, I stand corrected. I refuse to be the center of my own existence. I refuse to allow my to-do list to be at the center of my relationship with God and treat God like an assistant instead of the only source of my existence.

But most importantly, I choose to seek God for Him. He is the end goal. Knowing and loving Him more and more each day. Spending time in silence and solitude to cultivate the intimate relationship we were all created for. This is where I want to be, and it is my prayer that you will join me there today.

{Knowing God is the end goal.}

I’ll ask you the same question that was posed to me: Have you been seeking God for what He can do for you or do you simply want Him?

Leave a comment!

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

Bounty Through Obedience

Posted on August 8, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

I knew something happened. Shaking my head, I adamantly whispered, “No. no. no. no…” But with tear-filled eyes they told me. “Laurie, your dad was murdered last night. He’s dead.”

Startled, my eyes began to dart around the room, not knowing what to do with what I had been told. As my new reality began closing in around me, I felt the shackles of a heavy burden weighing me down, but there was no escape. I wanted to run away. I wanted to scream. I wanted to hit something, throw something. This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening, I thought.

But it did happen. And in that moment, my life was forever changed.

About a month before my dad died, he took me out to dinner. It was a welcomed treat for a poor college student. I sat across a small table from him. And after a bit of small talk, he asked me, “So, whatch ya going to do after you graduate?”

“I don’t know,” I said, putting my fork down. I was a year away from getting my bachelors degree, and the thought of getting into “real life” excited me. “I’d like to see what kind of a job I can get first, but maybe I’ll go on to law school. Or maybe I could get my teaching credentials and become a history teacher,” I added with enthusiasm. “What do you think?”

“I think that’s up to you,” he responded with a grin and a look that made my heart smile.

Soon, our conversation turned, and with a spark that I hadn’t seen in quite some time, my dad told me about a woman he’d been dating. I asked some questions about her, and my dad did his best to answer them. “She’s a good Christian woman,” he told me. And he went on to tell me that he started going to church again.

“Oh, good,” I said. But then tried to change the subject. I wasn’t a Christian at the time. In fact, I was far from it.

But then my dad said this, “Laurie, when I die, I want people to remember me for who I am. I don’t want anyone turning me into something I’m not.”

“Okay,” I responded slowly, thinking it was a bit of an odd remark.

“It’s just that, when someone dies,” he continued, “people only want to talk about the good parts of that person. But that’s not who they really are. There are good parts and bad parts to everyone.”

He has a point, I thought. Yet, I had no way of knowing the significance of what he was saying.

A month later, my dad died. And the conversation that we had over dinner became engraved upon my heart. I tried to honor my dad’s request to be known as he was. It weighed heavy on my heart as I wrote his eulogy a few short days after his death. And each time I spoke or wrote about his life and death, it was on my mind. Still, the significance of his words alluded me––that is, until I began to write more about my past and, more importantly, about the beauty and redemption that God has created out of it. It was then that I knew without a doubt that the Holy Spirit encouraged my dad to speak those words to me, over a decade before I needed them, to give me the freedom to write with the transparency needed to help others.

I have no desire to write about myself. But I cannot keep quiet about what God has done in and through my life. I have learned a lot about the heart of Jesus. He truly is our Redeemer. And it is Jesus’ desire to lift us out of our despair and our pain and bring us to a new place. A place that is rich in beauty and blessing.

Yet, God has shown me that in order to get there, we must choose, through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, to say yes. To say yes, my Lord, I will follow You. Yes, my Lord, I will obey Your commands. For, it is when we lay down our fear, our pride, and our resistance that we are able to experience life as He intended. The life that Jesus died for us to have. [Tweet that]

This is where redemption happens.

It is only through the grace of God that I chose to say yes. I chose to follow Jesus when He told me that it was time to love and forgive the man who murdered my dad. What happened after this, was nothing less than a work of God. He brought good out of evil, love out of hate, and peace out of despair.

Still, this story began with a tragedy. With the loss of my dad. And I have to be honest––there is a part of me doesn’t want this to be my story. I don’t want to be a murder victim’s daughter. But I am. What I want is to have my dad back. I want to be able to feel him pull me abruptly toward him to receive one of his great big bear hugs as he often liked to do.

But that’s not the story God intended to tell. And I know in my heart that the stories God creates are far richer than anything we can conceive of in our finite minds.

The story God has created is a story of the grace, mercy, healing, forgiveness, and redemption that can only be given through Jesus. But ultimately, it’s a story that displays the glory of our amazing God. And I pray that it encourages you to say yes to whatever Jesus calls you to and to embark on your own Jesus-led story.

{The fruit of obedience is bountiful if we will simply obey.}

How has God blessed you when you were obedient to His word or His call?

Leave a comment.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.