{Lessons Learned} Healing the Broken Places

Posted on May 16, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

I didn’t want to go digging around my past, but I knew I needed to. I knew some residual effects of my dad’s murder had to still be there. As I walked through some of the most difficult times in the weeks, months, and years following the murder, I remember thinking I sure hope this doesn’t screw me up.

My dad wasn’t married at the time of his death which meant that my brother, sister, and I were legally responsible for picking up the pieces when he died. Our extended family helped quite a bit––as much as they could, really, which I am so thankful for––but there was only so much they could do. My mom, however, was the backbone that held us all together, and I will forever be grateful to her for that. She played an integral part in the process of helping us wade through all the mess. (Thank you, Mom!)

Still, there were some things that my brother, sister, and I needed to take care of. No one could do it for us.

We were the ones who needed to put together the funeral arrangements.

We were the ones who needed to take possession of my dad’s house (which was where the murder took place) once the investigation finished.

We were, quite literally, the ones who cleaned up the mess that was left behind.

We navigated my dad’s estate through the legal process of probate, helped finish the construction of the home my dad was building for himself, got both homes ready to be sold, and sold them to their prospective buyers.

All the while, we were meeting with the District Attorney who was readying her case against Anthony and endured two and a half years of preliminary hearings leading up to the murder trial. Then, there was the trial itself, during which time my family and I sat for a week, day in and day out, listening to testimony after testimony, trying to avoid seeing pictures that might deepen the wounds, and hearing the defense attorney’s distortion of truth for the sake of winning his case.

This was also the time in my life that I was finishing up college, getting engaged, planning a wedding, getting married, and beginning my career as a teacher.

Truly, it was a crazy time in my life!

But after about three years, things seemed to settle down and come to a close. Justice was served and the estate was settled. And that was it. I feel like I was suddenly thrown into chaos, but at the end of three years, it all abruptly ended, and my life began to resemble a “normal” life once again.

I tried to put it all behind me. I tried to move on. Yet, no matter how hard I tried to rid myself of the pain, it still remained. It wasn’t until I met Jesus years later that I was led to rummage through all my junk and was finally able to allow Jesus to heal what had been broken.

But it wasn’t easy. In fact, it was one of the most painful, difficult seasons in my life. When we ask Jesus to heal us, we must understand that healing can be painful.

Healing a broken heart requires that we allow God to bring us back to our most broken places, to the darkness of our soul in order to see and understand our situation anew.

But it’s painful. It’s like opening an old wound, digging into it, removing the shrapnel that was embedded years before, and closing the wound properly for the first time.

Once we heal, the scars remain. But one thing I’ve learned is that it is God’s intention to take those scars, turn them into our strengths, and use them for our good and the good of others to His glory.

He is, after all, our Redeemer. What an amazing God we serve!

{Healing a broken heart requires that we allow God to bring us to our most broken places.}

Question: In what area do you need healing? Have you experienced healing? Was your healing painful? Share in the comments.

To read more about my process of healing, read {Lessons Learned} Healing Comes With Greater Understanding.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Lessons Learned} Be Gracious or Forgiveness Flows Out of a Changed Heart – Part 2

Posted on May 13, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

Early on in my walk with God, I was told that the Bible says that we’re sinners. Logically then, I thought, this would infer that I sin. It was a novel concept to me. Really, it was.

Up to this point, I never really thought about sin, and I certainly never thought I was a sinner or that I needed anything, let alone the help of a supposed God that could very well be the figment of someone’s imagination.

Truly, I was blind to the ways of God.

One day, after attending church for several weeks, however, I prayed. God, I said feeling a bit foolish, if I have any sins, show me. And boy did He deliver! I went from self-loving and self-idolizing (even though I was in a very bad place at the time) to self-loathing in no time at all.

Once stripped of all deception, I began to see who I truly was. And let me tell you, it was ugly.

But as I mentioned in Part 1, God doesn’t show us our sinful nature to beat us down, but instead, showing us our sins is intended to drive us into the arms of Jesus. Our sins show us our failures. They show us that we cannot do any good on our own. Truly, they show us our need.

No. We are not to loath ourselves as a result of our sin. But our sin should drive us back to where we were intended to be all along––in close communion with Father.

God choses undeserving sinners, washes them, and gives them new life. This is the grace of God.

Grace is a beautiful thing. [Tweet that]

But once we receive grace, we need to extend it to those around us.

When we understand that we are who we are by the grace of God alone, it should help us to see others through that same lens. We’re all prone to sin. We’re all prone to folly. And once we recognize this truth, it should compel us to live graceously with others and to forgive them.

You see, if we are around one another long enough we will hurt each other. We will sin against one another. We will fail one another. And while none of this is okay or justifiable, we need to have more grace with each other and forgive as we have been forgiven. [Tweet that]

As I have written extensively about before, there came a point as I was being led toward forgiving Anthony, the man who murdered my dad, that God clearly told me Laurie, you are no better than Anthony. And while it was difficult to hear, it is true. I am no better than any other. And I thought, who am I to withhold grace and forgiveness from another when Jesus so freely gave them to me? [Tweet that]

Truth is, we are all in need of grace. Let us all bring a bit more grace into our relationships today.

{Be gracious and forgive.}

Question: Who do you have a difficult time being gracious to? Why? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Lessons Learned} Forgiveness Flows Out of a Changed Heart – Part 1

Posted on May 9, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

Forgiveness––true Biblical forgiveness––requires that we have encountered and experienced the risen God. [Tweet that] It requires a changed heart.

Truly, prior to forgiving one another, we need to understand and receive the forgiveness of God. For, we cannot give something we have yet to receive, and we cannot receive apart from understanding. [Tweet that]

As I’m sure you know, the term Gospel––which refers to the work of Christ––literally means “good news.” I’ve heard many pastors say that in order for there to be good news something bad would have to be true. And until we understand the bad news, we cannot fully grasp how good the good news is. [Tweet that]

This is why we all must come to understand who we are apart from Jesus. We need to understand just how sinful we are so that the sacrifice Jesus made on our behalf––and consequently, the forgiveness He made possible––can be understood not only in our minds but in our hearts as well.

It is only when head knowledge moves to our hearts that we can fully live out of God’s truth. But until we experience this heart change, our efforts to live out the Christian life will remain frustrated. We will be unable to effectively carry out the commands of the Bible.

It is possible for us to know God’s truth––to know that Jesus died to reconcile us to God the Father. To know that Jesus forgives us through His sacrifice on the cross. To know that we are loved. To know that we are saved, and that we are forgiven. But we will never live the life God has for us until this knowledge moves to our heart and transforms us.

Remember, we must understand the bad news in order to fully grasp just how good the good news is.

And the bad news is very bad indeed. Scripture tells us that apart from Jesus, we were dead in our sin. Scripture paints a very real picture of our state outside of Christ. God uses words like dead (Ephesians 2:1), sinner (James 4:8), wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, naked (Revelation 3:17), enemies of God (Romans 5:10), having no hope and without God (Ephesians 2:12) to describe our pre-salvation state.

Believe this about yourself.

But don’t stay there. The moment you gave your life to Jesus you were made new. All that was true of who we were apart from Jesus was made void. God now uses words like new (2 Corinthians 5:17), chosen (1 Peter 2:4), saved (Ephesians 2:4), son or daughter (Romans 8:15), saints (Ephesians 2:19), beloved (Romans 9:25), and righteous (Romans 5:19) to describe those who love Him.

Still, allow your understanding of the depths of your wretchedness apart from Jesus to compel you to run into the arms of Jesus, filled with thanksgiving, love, and adoration, knowing what He has saved you from.

Never forget where Jesus found you. [Tweet that] As Martin Luther said, “Remember your baptism.”

And then from there. Pray for His grace and your relationship with Him to transform your heart and your mind. Then and only then will you be able to live out of your new nature, your new self, and extend grace and mercy to those around you.

Your ability to forgive others comes from your changed heart.

{Allow Jesus to show you the bad news in order that you might be able to experience all the joy and blessings the Gospel has to offer!}

Question: What are your thoughts? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

Romans 8:28 Rings True

Posted on May 6, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

Last Thursday began like most days. Toward the end of my quiet time with Jesus, my girls came into my bedroom in all their morning cuteness, blurry-eyed and hair a fright. We cuddled together for a moment before beginning our morning routine of showering, dressing, and the like.

My girls usually finish getting ready before I do, so they ran downstairs, busying themselves with coloring and drawing in the kitchen. Moments later, however, I heard Avery, my younger daughter, yell, “Mom, Ella poked me with a pencil!”

To which Ella replied, “But it wasn’t very hard!”

Really?!? I thought. It was all going so well.

Turns out, Ella intentionally “poked” or stabbed (to be more exact) Avery with a pencil. Not okay in my book. But after disciplining Ella, we had a serious talk about hurting others.

Ella is seven. Up to this point, we have taught her about Jesus, we’ve talked about Jesus being her Savior, but I never asked them to pray the prayer for salvation.

I didn’t want this prayer to be something forced or something they just did because they’re told it’s what they’re supposed to do. I wanted it to be authentic. From their heart. I wanted them to desire Jesus and realize they can’t do this thing called life without Him!

This would not happen through any effort of my own. This would not happen by me leading them to say a prayer asking Jesus into their heart before they had the desire. What children need––what we all need––is the grace of God.

Salvation comes by grace through faith!

It is a gift from God. And it cannot be manipulated into being.

Ella and I talked about hurting others. We talked about the condition of her heart. We talked about our need for Jesus. And I can honestly say that for the first time, she was broken over her sin, and she realized she needed Jesus.

“Have you ever prayed for Jesus to save you?” I asked.

“No,” she said, tears streaming down her face.

“Do you want Jesus in your heart? Do you want Him to save you?”

“Yes,” she said without hesitation.

We talked extensively about what that meant and about who she knew Jesus to be.

“But I want you to say the prayer,” she told me.

“No honey. Mommy can’t do that,” I said. “I pray for you all the time, but this is a prayer you need to pray.” I told her that her relationship with Jesus is something that is her own. It’s something she needs to cultivate. No one else could do it for her.

“But I don’t know what to say.”

Facing one another, we held hands and began to pray, both of us crying like babies. With genuine sincerity, my little Ella prayed a “repeat after me” prayer for Jesus to be her Lord and Savior.

What began with her committing a sin against her sister ended with her brokenness and her salvation, and I praise Jesus for His grace.

“You’re way ahead of me,” I told Ella with a smile. “I wasn’t saved until I was 29!”

“Whoa,” she said, bright-eyed.

Thank God for grace.

Since then, I’ve been thinking. My dad was saved only months before his death by Jesus through the very events that led to his murder (more on this later). I was saved as a direct result of the effects of my dad’s death. And now, my daughter has been saved as a result of my salvation.

Romans 8:28 rings true.

{Jesus is our Redeemer.}

Question: How have you seen Romans 8:28 played out in your life? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

Love Comes First

Posted on May 2, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

I received a letter from Anthony (the man who murdered my dad) a couple weeks ago. In it, he said, “I also know you feel as I do, if only one person read [our testimony] and came to Jesus because of it, because of our pain, tears, repentance, and forgiveness, all of it was worth it.”

Anthony is right. And He got me thinking.

If our story saves one––only one––I do believe my efforts to share what God has done is all worth it. Yet, I also believe Jesus called me to share this story with many. In fact, I believe I’m called to write a book about it.

What It Takes to Publish Today

When writing a book, you hear a lot about the need to build a “platform” or establish a “tribe” of followers who engage with you both on your blog and on social media (Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest…) who will then become your audience for your proposed book. Even though all this “platform building” feel like self-promotion––which makes me ridiculously uncomfortable––I’ve been doing it, nonetheless, attempting to promote Jesus instead of myself.

Building a platform is a necessary step toward publishing.

But it can so quickly become about the numbers. How many people are reached with each post? How many visitors to my blog each day, week, month? How many Twitter followers? How many Facebook likes? And the list goes on.

But what gets lost amid the numbers is love. Each of those numbers represents a soul. A soul Jesus loves and wants to help. We are all called to love one another. We’re all called to minister to one another. It may look different for some people than for others, but the call is all the same. Love.

My Followers?

And here’s the thing: My “followers” are not my followers, they’re Jesus’ followers. [Tweet that] A sweet friend pointed that out to me the other night, and I appreciated the perspective.

This issue is not a new one, either. It was found long before the emergence of social media and platform building. The Corinthian church faced the same problem. In 1 Corinthians 1:12-14 and 1:17 Paul says,

What I mean is that each one of you says, ‘I follow Paul,’ or ‘I follow Apollos,’ or ‘I follow Cephas,’ or ‘I follow Christ.’Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul? …For Christ did not send me to baptize but to preach the gospel, and not with words of eloquent wisdom, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power.

It is Jesus who needs to be center. We don’t need Laurie followers, we need Jesus followers!

All You Need is Love (Love Before Mission)

My calling––and your calling too––needs to come from a place of love, for without love there is no real impact. [Tweet that] Sure, some may be intrigued by our stories, but the impact will be little without love.

And I confess that I have lost the love I had at first. But I’m praying for grace. I need a complete paradigm shift to take place through the mercy and grace of God.

It’s not about numbers. It’s not about me. It’s not even about my story.

It’s about Jesus.

It’s about loving God and loving people. Sound familiar? It’s the Great Commandment Jesus spoke of in both Matthew and Mark.

The Great Commandment comes before anything else. Yet, it is followed by the Great Commission.

The Great Commission is our mission in this world. Jesus tells us, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:19-20).

We do have a mission––to share the message of the Gospel with the world. But the mission doesn’t come before the commandment to love. [Tweet that]

The cart doesn’t come before the horse!

Love is first. Always. [Tweet that]

Yet, we have a job to do. And for some of us that job may require the use of social media, but it is all to be motivated by love. Just as the title of Bob Goff’s book says, “Love Does.” (This is a great book, by the way, one of my favorites!)

I’ve somehow gotten things a little backwards lately. And for that I am sorry, I repent, and I pray that all I do is derived out of my love for Jesus and for His people. If you could join me in this prayer, I’d greatly appreciate it. The prayer of many is powerful, and I want to get this one right.

Back to what Anthony said. If I can impact only one through my love, it will all be worth it.

{Love comes first.}

Question: Have you experienced this? Any words of wisdom you would like to share? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Lessons Learned} Forgiveness Requires Humility

Posted on April 29, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom. – Proverbs 11:2

Two options were set before me when called to forgive Anthony (the man who murdered my dad):

I could either choose to remain prideful––failing to see error in my perspective––or I could choose to humble myself before God and recognize that my “truth” was not God’s truth.

Truth is, forgiveness requires humility. [Tweet that]

It requires us to recognize that we may have some culpability in the situation or, at the very least, that we’re not seeing as we ought. We need to recognize that not all of what we believe to be the truth is ultimately God’s truth.

When forgiving another of a sin committed against us, we must take a moment to examine ourselves as well. We need to understand that our perspective may be askew. We need to ask ourselves some very important questions.

How might we be wrong in how we’re looking at the situation?

How might our actions have contributed to the situation (in some cases)?

What biases are we be bringing into our perspective?

The proud never admit they may be wrong or their perspective may be biased or just plain wrong. The humble, on the other hand, seek to see as Jesus does even if that means they find fault in themselves.

{Forgiveness requires humility.}

Questions: Have you considered the possibility that your truth may not be true? How might we be able to shed our biases? How do you think we might be able to come closer to God’s truth? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Lessons Learned} Do You Need Jesus to Forgive?

Posted on April 25, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

I had a feeling something was still there. Some residual scarring caused by my dad’s murder. In a way, I wanted to go there. Get it all out. Heal completely. But at the same time, I feared what would be found.

I sure hope I’m not really screwed up, I thought.

But I knew some soul work needed to be done. Digging would have to take place. And the root of whatever was left behind would have to be excavated and restored.

I tried to do this on my own for nine years after Dad died. I tried to “pick myself up by my bootstraps” and move on, reasoning that Dad would have wanted it this way. He wouldn’t want me to succumb to the wave of despair that threatened to swallow me whole.

So, I moved on. Each time the thought of Anthony came into my mind, I chose with precise deliberation to cast these thoughts aside.

I forgive him, I’d tell myself, knowing full well that I didn’t. I thought if I did this long enough, it would become my reality. It was the only way I knew how to move toward forgiveness, and I hoped this would allow me to shed the effects of my past.

Even the secular world tells us to forgive. “You must forgive and forget,” we’re told.

And, so we do. Or we think we do.

We will ourselves into believing that we’ve arrived at the desired destination. That we’ve forgiven.

I forgive Anthony, I told myself. I do.

Then, I became a Christian after completely falling apart. And I mean completely falling apart. I’ve written about this time before, but for our purpose here, I must tell you that I don’t think I would have gotten to this point of complete desperation and complete lack of hope had it not been for my unforgiving heart (The one I thought was forgiving, mind you).

So, there I was, a baby Christian, one year after surrendering my life to Christ when the call to forgive came. Quite frankly, I was surprised.

But I’ve already forgiven Anthony, came my rebuttal to God.

Soon, I learned that forgiveness––real forgiveness, that is––can only be accomplished through Jesus, the one who died to make forgiveness possible.

It’s the same with all things.

We cannot love, in the full sense of the term, without first receiving God’s love.

We cannot extend true mercy or grace without first receiving God’s mercy and grace.

So to, we cannot forgive, completely and unconditionally, without first receiving God’s forgiveness. [Tweet that]

It is Jesus who made forgiveness possible, and it is He who guides us onto our own path toward forgiveness. [Tweet that]

I’ve mentioned this before, but I don’t think I can emphasize it enough. Forgiveness is a process. It is not something that occurs instantly. And it requires a decision to pray for Jesus to guide you toward that end.

So, I encourage each of you to take another look at your life. Take another look at you relationships. And prayerfully assess whether or not you hold unforgiveness in your heart. And if you do, I implore you to seek God and forgive.

Forgiveness will set you free. [Tweet that]

Remember, forgiveness begins with prayer. [Tweet that] Pray for God to lead you toward freedom today.

{Forgiveness is only possible through Jesus.}

Question: Has God been showing you unforgiveness in your heart? Who do you need to forgive? How have you tried to forgive apart from God? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Forgiveness} Make No Mistake, Justice Will Be Served.

Posted on April 18, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

I’ve written about misconceptions about forgiveness before. But I believe one of the largest hindrances to forgiveness is a misconception that stems from childhood.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve negotiated peace between two children who are mad at one another. Regardless of what caused the issue, our peace talk usually goes something like this:

Me: “Tell her you’re sorry.”

Child (usually one of my daughters): “I’m sorry.”

The other child: “It’s okay.”

But it’s not okay. Many children are told by their parents (as I mistakenly did as a new parent) to respond to an apology by telling the other child that it’s okay.

But it’s not okay to bite one another. It’s not okay to hit one another. Simply put, it’s not okay to sin against one another. And when we tell children to say “it’s okay” in this context, we are not teaching them forgiveness, but instead, we are teaching them to accept the offenses that are committed against them.

I believe it is this teaching that makes us feel like forgiveness lets the offender off the hook. And it may be why many refuse to forgive.

When I was working toward forgiveness with Anthony, the man who murdered my dad, my sister (among many others) couldn’t understand what I was doing.

“It’s like you’re saying what he did is okay,” she kept saying.

“No,” I told her, “I’m not saying what Anthony did is okay. It will never be okay! What he did was beyond wrong, but ultimately, God tells us to forgive, so we must forgive.”

I went on to explain that God is the ultimate judge. We are not. [Tweet that] And when God asks us to forgive, He is asking us to release the offender over to Him that ultimate justice may be served. [Tweet that]

When we refuse to forgive, we are in our own small way taking justice into our own hands, enacting our own wrath and anger upon the offender. But we were never created to bear this heavy burden. After a while, this anger turns to bitterness which imprisons us and poisons our souls. But forgiveness releases us from this prison and frees us to live with peace.

Romans 12:19 says, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’”

Rest assured, we serve a just God. And He will see to it that justice is done. [Tweet that]

One way or another, the sins committed against you (like the sins you commit) will be reconciled. Either your offender, lacking saving faith, will take the eternal punishment of sin upon himself, or if he is a follower of Christ, his sins were paid for on the cross.

Either way, justice will be served.

So, instead of intently holding onto your offenses, allow Jesus to take them, freeing you to live the life He died for you to have. Romans 12:21 tells us, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Stop allowing your lack of forgiveness overcome you.

Stop allowing your past to cast its shadow upon your present. [Tweet that]

Release your anger to God.

Forgive.

And know, without a doubt, that justice will be served.

{Justice will be served.}

Question: What’s stopping you from forgiving? How does this truth change the way you view forgiveness? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Lessons Learned} Watch Yourself or Can a Christian Commit Murder?

Posted on April 15, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children. – Deuteronomy 4:9

Anthony claimed he was a Christian at the time of the murder, and I had a real problem with this. As a non-Christian and even after coming to Christ, I didn’t understand how someone who professed faith in Jesus could do something like this. Doesn’t a sin of this magnitude disqualify you from being a Christian?

You can’t claim to be a Christian and commit murder, I thought.

Recently, however, when telling me about a book he was reading by Kyle Idleman called Not a Fan, Anthony said,

“I wonder, had I not come to prison would I have stayed a fan of Jesus or become a follower? I knew Him. I went to Bible studies. I read my Bible daily, but I didn’t let him into every dark corner of my heart. I was not a follower. Now, I truly follow Him. But this book is an eye-opener.”

Anthony went to church faithfully before he committed the murder. As he said, he went to Bible studies. He read his Bible daily. He knew Jesus.

When I began to correspond with Anthony, I met with my pastor and asked him, “Is it possible for a Christian to commit murder?”

My pastor’s response? Absolutely. It is possible.

I wrestled with this issue for quite some time, but ultimately I saw that my pastor was right. One profound example of this can be found in the story of David. David was chosen, used mightily, and was called a man after God’s own heart both before and after he had Bathsheba’s husband killed. David was in a covenantal relationship with God––the equivalent of being a Christ follower today––yet he sinned greatly.

Now, I don’t know whether or not Anthony’s relationship with Jesus was authentic when he killed my dad, but it could have been. And honestly, this truth scares me, as it should all of us.

We must guard our hearts.

You see, we’re all prone to folly. We’re all prone to sin. And sin can creep in before we know it.

In one of my letters to Anthony, I said, “…you still cultivated the emotions and feeling that lead you astray. You still allowed your soul to be poisoned with hatred which ultimately lead to your actions.”

In response, Anthony said:

I may have cultivated the emotions that led me to be poisoned. But not hate, anger yes but I didn’t hate your dad. I did not go over to your dads house to kill him, to threaten and scare, yes. But having that anger in my heart opened me up to the possibility of something bad and as we know bad happened. – Anthony, November 2010

All throughout the book of Deuteronomy, God tells us to watch ourselves. Over and over again He says, “Take care, lest your heart be deceived” (Deuteronomy 11:16), “Take care lest you forget the Lord your God” (Deuteronomy 8:11), “Take care, lest you forget the covenant of the Lord your God” (Deuteronomy 4:23).

1 Peter 5:8 tells us to “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” Paul exhorts Timothy to “Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers” (1 Timothy 4:16).

Considering Anthony’s testimony and reading through each of these scriptures, this much is clear: we must guard our hearts to assure we don’t cultivate an environment for sin to grow. For, we can be led astray quickly.

{Guard your heart. Don’t allow sin to creep in.} [tweet that]

Question: What are your thoughts? How do you guard your heart or keep watch on yourself? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

I Don’t Need Help! or Learning to Receive

Posted on April 11, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. – Proverbs 27:17

A couple months ago, I found myself sitting at a small table in Starbucks. Across from me sat my leadership coach.

“I don’t think I can do this any more,” I told her. “I’m burnt out. I’m doing too much, and honestly, I don’t think I’m doing anybody any good at this point.”

I came to this meeting to quit. I had been leading a small group of women from my church in a weekly meeting for over two years. But at this point, I was exhausted. I didn’t feel I could do it any longer.

After I explained the situation, she said, “Honestly, I don’t think you know how to receive very well.”

Yes, I do. I thought, perplexed.

“You’ve done a great job of making yourself a commodity,” she continued, “but you don’t allow others to pour into you.”

Ouch.

I left, still leading this group of women, still wanting to quit, and pondering what I had been just told. After much thought and prayer, however, I realized that my coach was right.

I don’t receive well.

I’m the Helper; I Don’t Need Help!

Since our meeting, God has been calling me to receive. It’s like He’s holding out both hands toward me, offering the fullness of Christ, saying, Receive, Laurie. Allow me to pour into you. Allow others to pour into you, and receive all the riches of my blessing upon your life.

But it’s hard. It’s not how I’m wired. Recently, I found myself saying I’m not the one who needs help, I’m the one who helps others.

You see, from the time I was a child, I was the “helper.” I helped my mom with my special needs sister. And I helped my family get through my parents’ divorce. I’m the helper. People rely upon me.

And I guess somewhere along the way, a lie infiltrated my consciousness, telling me that I don’t need others to help me, that I can do it all on my own, that needing others is a sign of weakness.

But none of that is true. We all need help. We were not created to live completely unto ourselves. We need God. And we need each other. Our interdependency is part of God’s perfect design, not a flaw.

The Word Receive in the Bible

I just completed an inventory of the word “receive” in the Bible.

And scripture is clear. We were created to receive. To live in complete dependence upon God and to receive all things from Him. Just as a baby helplessly relies upon his parents for all things, so too, are we to live in complete reliance upon our Father.

All things come from God, so one way or another, we must receive. Scripture says we receive life, approval, instruction, wisdom, righteousness, blessings, grace, mercy, forgiveness of sins, the Holy Spirit, and power through Jesus.

Jesus died that we may experience the fullness of life. But, we must receive Christ, through faith, in order to receive that life.

It is true: we were created to be in communion with God. Yet, we were also created to be in communion with one another. To help one another and build one another up as the body of Christ.

We Need Each Other

Embracing our need for one another is not a sign of weakness, but of strength. John 13:35 says, “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” We are called to:

Love one another.

Serve one another.

Forgive one another.

Show hospitality to one another.

Have fellowship with one another.

Bear one another’s burdens.

Just think about what the church would look like if we brought these commands into our relationships. It’s about serving others and allowing others to serve you. You see, “Two are better than one…For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).

I am now coming to understand that it is when we don’t allow others to pour into us that we become weak.

We need each other.

Each of us have been given gifts for the purpose of building one another up. Let us use them and receive support from one another. Paul said it well when he wrote, ”Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

{Allow others to bless you that you may continue to be a blessing others.}

Question: Can you relate? How might we all become better receivers? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.