{Forgiveness} Make No Mistake, Justice Will Be Served.

Posted on April 18, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

I’ve written about misconceptions about forgiveness before. But I believe one of the largest hindrances to forgiveness is a misconception that stems from childhood.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve negotiated peace between two children who are mad at one another. Regardless of what caused the issue, our peace talk usually goes something like this:

Me: “Tell her you’re sorry.”

Child (usually one of my daughters): “I’m sorry.”

The other child: “It’s okay.”

But it’s not okay. Many children are told by their parents (as I mistakenly did as a new parent) to respond to an apology by telling the other child that it’s okay.

But it’s not okay to bite one another. It’s not okay to hit one another. Simply put, it’s not okay to sin against one another. And when we tell children to say “it’s okay” in this context, we are not teaching them forgiveness, but instead, we are teaching them to accept the offenses that are committed against them.

I believe it is this teaching that makes us feel like forgiveness lets the offender off the hook. And it may be why many refuse to forgive.

When I was working toward forgiveness with Anthony, the man who murdered my dad, my sister (among many others) couldn’t understand what I was doing.

“It’s like you’re saying what he did is okay,” she kept saying.

“No,” I told her, “I’m not saying what Anthony did is okay. It will never be okay! What he did was beyond wrong, but ultimately, God tells us to forgive, so we must forgive.”

I went on to explain that God is the ultimate judge. We are not. [Tweet that] And when God asks us to forgive, He is asking us to release the offender over to Him that ultimate justice may be served. [Tweet that]

When we refuse to forgive, we are in our own small way taking justice into our own hands, enacting our own wrath and anger upon the offender. But we were never created to bear this heavy burden. After a while, this anger turns to bitterness which imprisons us and poisons our souls. But forgiveness releases us from this prison and frees us to live with peace.

Romans 12:19 says, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’”

Rest assured, we serve a just God. And He will see to it that justice is done. [Tweet that]

One way or another, the sins committed against you (like the sins you commit) will be reconciled. Either your offender, lacking saving faith, will take the eternal punishment of sin upon himself, or if he is a follower of Christ, his sins were paid for on the cross.

Either way, justice will be served.

So, instead of intently holding onto your offenses, allow Jesus to take them, freeing you to live the life He died for you to have. Romans 12:21 tells us, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Stop allowing your lack of forgiveness overcome you.

Stop allowing your past to cast its shadow upon your present. [Tweet that]

Release your anger to God.

Forgive.

And know, without a doubt, that justice will be served.

{Justice will be served.}

Question: What’s stopping you from forgiving? How does this truth change the way you view forgiveness? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Lessons Learned} Watch Yourself or Can a Christian Commit Murder?

Posted on April 15, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children. – Deuteronomy 4:9

Anthony claimed he was a Christian at the time of the murder, and I had a real problem with this. As a non-Christian and even after coming to Christ, I didn’t understand how someone who professed faith in Jesus could do something like this. Doesn’t a sin of this magnitude disqualify you from being a Christian?

You can’t claim to be a Christian and commit murder, I thought.

Recently, however, when telling me about a book he was reading by Kyle Idleman called Not a Fan, Anthony said,

“I wonder, had I not come to prison would I have stayed a fan of Jesus or become a follower? I knew Him. I went to Bible studies. I read my Bible daily, but I didn’t let him into every dark corner of my heart. I was not a follower. Now, I truly follow Him. But this book is an eye-opener.”

Anthony went to church faithfully before he committed the murder. As he said, he went to Bible studies. He read his Bible daily. He knew Jesus.

When I began to correspond with Anthony, I met with my pastor and asked him, “Is it possible for a Christian to commit murder?”

My pastor’s response? Absolutely. It is possible.

I wrestled with this issue for quite some time, but ultimately I saw that my pastor was right. One profound example of this can be found in the story of David. David was chosen, used mightily, and was called a man after God’s own heart both before and after he had Bathsheba’s husband killed. David was in a covenantal relationship with God––the equivalent of being a Christ follower today––yet he sinned greatly.

Now, I don’t know whether or not Anthony’s relationship with Jesus was authentic when he killed my dad, but it could have been. And honestly, this truth scares me, as it should all of us.

We must guard our hearts.

You see, we’re all prone to folly. We’re all prone to sin. And sin can creep in before we know it.

In one of my letters to Anthony, I said, “…you still cultivated the emotions and feeling that lead you astray. You still allowed your soul to be poisoned with hatred which ultimately lead to your actions.”

In response, Anthony said:

I may have cultivated the emotions that led me to be poisoned. But not hate, anger yes but I didn’t hate your dad. I did not go over to your dads house to kill him, to threaten and scare, yes. But having that anger in my heart opened me up to the possibility of something bad and as we know bad happened. – Anthony, November 2010

All throughout the book of Deuteronomy, God tells us to watch ourselves. Over and over again He says, “Take care, lest your heart be deceived” (Deuteronomy 11:16), “Take care lest you forget the Lord your God” (Deuteronomy 8:11), “Take care, lest you forget the covenant of the Lord your God” (Deuteronomy 4:23).

1 Peter 5:8 tells us to “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” Paul exhorts Timothy to “Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers” (1 Timothy 4:16).

Considering Anthony’s testimony and reading through each of these scriptures, this much is clear: we must guard our hearts to assure we don’t cultivate an environment for sin to grow. For, we can be led astray quickly.

{Guard your heart. Don’t allow sin to creep in.} [tweet that]

Question: What are your thoughts? How do you guard your heart or keep watch on yourself? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

I Don’t Need Help! or Learning to Receive

Posted on April 11, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. – Proverbs 27:17

A couple months ago, I found myself sitting at a small table in Starbucks. Across from me sat my leadership coach.

“I don’t think I can do this any more,” I told her. “I’m burnt out. I’m doing too much, and honestly, I don’t think I’m doing anybody any good at this point.”

I came to this meeting to quit. I had been leading a small group of women from my church in a weekly meeting for over two years. But at this point, I was exhausted. I didn’t feel I could do it any longer.

After I explained the situation, she said, “Honestly, I don’t think you know how to receive very well.”

Yes, I do. I thought, perplexed.

“You’ve done a great job of making yourself a commodity,” she continued, “but you don’t allow others to pour into you.”

Ouch.

I left, still leading this group of women, still wanting to quit, and pondering what I had been just told. After much thought and prayer, however, I realized that my coach was right.

I don’t receive well.

I’m the Helper; I Don’t Need Help!

Since our meeting, God has been calling me to receive. It’s like He’s holding out both hands toward me, offering the fullness of Christ, saying, Receive, Laurie. Allow me to pour into you. Allow others to pour into you, and receive all the riches of my blessing upon your life.

But it’s hard. It’s not how I’m wired. Recently, I found myself saying I’m not the one who needs help, I’m the one who helps others.

You see, from the time I was a child, I was the “helper.” I helped my mom with my special needs sister. And I helped my family get through my parents’ divorce. I’m the helper. People rely upon me.

And I guess somewhere along the way, a lie infiltrated my consciousness, telling me that I don’t need others to help me, that I can do it all on my own, that needing others is a sign of weakness.

But none of that is true. We all need help. We were not created to live completely unto ourselves. We need God. And we need each other. Our interdependency is part of God’s perfect design, not a flaw.

The Word Receive in the Bible

I just completed an inventory of the word “receive” in the Bible.

And scripture is clear. We were created to receive. To live in complete dependence upon God and to receive all things from Him. Just as a baby helplessly relies upon his parents for all things, so too, are we to live in complete reliance upon our Father.

All things come from God, so one way or another, we must receive. Scripture says we receive life, approval, instruction, wisdom, righteousness, blessings, grace, mercy, forgiveness of sins, the Holy Spirit, and power through Jesus.

Jesus died that we may experience the fullness of life. But, we must receive Christ, through faith, in order to receive that life.

It is true: we were created to be in communion with God. Yet, we were also created to be in communion with one another. To help one another and build one another up as the body of Christ.

We Need Each Other

Embracing our need for one another is not a sign of weakness, but of strength. John 13:35 says, “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” We are called to:

Love one another.

Serve one another.

Forgive one another.

Show hospitality to one another.

Have fellowship with one another.

Bear one another’s burdens.

Just think about what the church would look like if we brought these commands into our relationships. It’s about serving others and allowing others to serve you. You see, “Two are better than one…For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).

I am now coming to understand that it is when we don’t allow others to pour into us that we become weak.

We need each other.

Each of us have been given gifts for the purpose of building one another up. Let us use them and receive support from one another. Paul said it well when he wrote, ”Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

{Allow others to bless you that you may continue to be a blessing others.}

Question: Can you relate? How might we all become better receivers? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Repentance} Wanna Be Empowered Today?

Posted on April 8, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

I’ve been talking a lot about repentance, and I know it can become a weighty topic, to say the least. But I feel like God has empowered me in this area recently, and I just have to pass this along.

I’ve been feeling convicted lately about several sins in my life. And maybe it’s just me, but do you ever feel like you need to repent but you need to wait for the empowerment of God to do so? [Tweet that]

Well, this is where I found myself last week.

During my quiet time with God, I decided to begin reading Romans. I opened it up, read the first paragraph, and that was just about enough for the day. I needed to digest what I read, so I read it again. And again.

Toward the end of that paragraph, Paul says, “through [Jesus] we have received grace and apostleship to bring about the obedience of faith for the sake of his name…” (Romans 1:5).

We received grace to bring about the obedience of faith. We received grace. Past tense. It’s a done deal.

I love what the ESV Study Bible footnote says. It says, “Obedience is required, but it is an obedience that flows from saving faith and is always connected to ongoing faith” (emphasis mine).

We Are Empowered

Here’s the thing: The moment we are saved. The moment we bow our knee to Jesus, accepting Him to be Lord of our lives and Savior of our souls, we were given the gift of the Holy Spirit (see Acts 1:8).

The Spirit is power. He is all the power we need to live out this Christian life. [Tweet that]

Acts 1:8 says, “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you…”

Romans 8:11 tells us that “If the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.”

We have been given life. We have been set free from sin and death through Jesus. And we are now free to live a life of power through the Holy Spirit.

So, why do we, at times, feel so impotent to live out godly lives? What takes the wind out of our sails? [Tweet that]

Deception.

Truth tells us we have the power of the Holy Spirit to live out our faith.

Satan tells us we have no power within us or we need to wait for empowerment.

There are times we need to wait on the Lord for sure, but we never need to wait to repent. We never need to wait to feel empowered to do that which we are called to do. But instead, remember that we are empowered to follow Jesus.

So, here’s the bottom line: You don’t need to wait for the ability to live out your Christian life, you already have the power within. Now live like you believe it.

{The same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead lives in you. Believe and live in light of this truth.}

Question: Do you ever feel like you need to wait for the empowerment of the Holy Spirit? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Lessons Learned} Consequences: We Reap What We Sow

Posted on April 4, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

I have had to take responsibly, have been humbled by the selfishness of what I did and have to live with the consequences every day. – Anthony (January 3, 2011)

Sin wrecks havoc on our lives.

Ultimately, every sin has a consequence. And since we don’t live completely unto ourselves, there’s a ripple effect produced by our sin that cannot be retracted. [Tweet that] Every action has a reaction, and this is true with sin as well.

Even when we do finally receive grace to come before God and receive His mercy and forgiveness, the effects of our sin remain while living in this fallen world.

Now, I’m not saying God doesn’t redeem our sin and ultimately use it for good and for His glory; He does (see Romans 2:28). And when forgiven by God, He remembers our sins no longer. We are washed clean and will not suffer consequence after death. But in this life, we feel the effects of sin.

If we don’t take care of the body we were given, we may be forgiven, but our health may suffer and may never fully recover.

If we choose to divorce our spouse (though I recognize there are Biblical grounds to do so), we may be forgiven, but it will forever impact our life, our children, our family, and our friends.

And in Anthony’s case, who committed murder, he is forgiven, yet he will spend the remainder of his life behind bars. The effect of his actions will remain with him until he takes his last breath here on Earth.

You Reap What You Sow

In Galatians 6:7, Paul said, “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.”

Take a look at the life of David.

David was a man after God’s own heart, yet he was still an imperfect man who sinned greatly. When he committed adultery and had the woman’s husband murdered in battle, God was not pleased.

Ultimately, David repented and turned back to God, yet God still enacted consequences that David had to face. David’s son, conceived through his adulterous affair, died, and from that point on, David faced tremendous turmoil within his family.

David certainly reaped what he sowed.

Paul goes on to say, “For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life” (Galatians 6:8).

Let us sow good seeds throughout our lives, seeds that yield godliness and righteousness. [Tweet that] And when we do sin, let us repent quickly, turning back to the only one who can help us live victoriously in our fallen flesh.

{Though we may be forgiven, consequences remain.}

Question: What are your thoughts? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

How Jesus is the Fulfillment of God’s Love

Posted on April 1, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16

No doubt about it. We are loved.

Truly loved, despite all our shortcomings.

The Feinberg Challenge

Over the last 40 days of Lent, leading up to Easter, I joined Margaret Feinberg (along with thousands of other Christ followers), in her 40-Day Bible Reading Challenge. Together we read through the Bible. Yep. The whole thing.

Honestly, it was crazy, but it was amazing at the same time! Beginning in Genesis and ending with Revelation, we read an average of 30 chapters a day (though I’m a day behind, so I’ll be finishing up today).

When first presented with all this craziness, I was intrigued, but I didn’t think I could do it. After all, I have children who need their mommy and a husband who needs his wife, but God made it happen. Day in and day out, I was given the time needed to soak in the truth of God’s word.

And when God’s truth continually washes over you, something begins to sirs within your soul. [Tweet that] God works. He teaches. He shows you things you’ve been missing all along or have forgotten amidst the busyness of life.

Throughout this time, there were days I was moved to tears as I read (well, ok, I actually cried most days). The more I read, the more the love and faithfulness of our mighty God was impressed upon my heart.

I just love how Sally Lloyd-Jones describes the love of God in The Jesus Storybook Bible for kids. She says God loves us “with a Never Stopping, Never Giving up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love.” Isn’t that an amazing description?

And it was this love that become so real to me during my reading.

God’s Story

The whole of the Bible tells the story of God. It tells of a people––made to love and be loved by God––who rebelled against their loving Father, bringing sin into the world. From this moment on, God sought to bring His people back to Himself once again, saying I will be your God and you shall be my people.

Truly, the Bible shows love affair between God and His people in which He faithfully pursues the hearts of man. [Tweet that]

Still, God’s people rebelled. They rebelled over and over and over again. Yet, God never forsook them though He had every right to do so. But instead, God chose to love them, despite rebellion and sin.

The Climax

God’s plan ultimately culminated with Jesus.

Jesus was God’s love displayed in flesh. He was the way. The way back to God. As said before, God could have left us in our sinful state of hopelessness. But instead, He provided a way back to Himself. Through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus.

For 33 years, Love walked the Earth.

Love healed wounds.

Love set free the captives.

Love showed us the way as He called and said, “Follow Me.”

And Love was nailed to a cross on Calvary.

But ultimately, Love rose again, bringing us new life.

This is what Easter is all about. The love of God, who is faithful to provide new beginnings. [Tweet that] It’s like we get a mulligan. A do-over. What was behind has passed. And all that is required of us is to receive the free gift of salvation. To receive Christ. [Tweet that]

Jesus holds out His hand, offering us mercy, grace, salvation, love, hope, peace, and so much more.

Reach out and take hold of the promises of God. Receive His Love.

Happy Easter!

{Jesus is the fulfillment of God’s love. Receive Him.}

Question: How have you been blessed by the Word of God? How has the story of God impacted your life? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Lessons Learned} Repentance Can Be a Process

Posted on March 28, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

When our Lord and Master, Jesus Christ, said “Repent”, He called for the entire life of believers to be one of repentance. – Martin Luther, The 95 Theses

In one of my letters to Anthony, I wrote, “I simply believe that we all need to take full responsibility for our actions and blame-shifting isn’t representative of that! Until we come to this point of taking full responsibility for our actions, I don’t believe we can come to a place of true repentance.”

I still believe this to be true. But I now know that repentance can take time.

Though God is certainly able to bring us to repentance quickly, it seems to me that repentance is, oftentimes, a process. [Tweet that] This was certainly the case with Anthony, and I’ve found this to be true both in my life and in the lives of other Christians as well.

Repentance

Now, I think it’s important to understand repentance before we go much farther. According to Strong’s Concordance, the word repent means 1. to change one’s mind or 2. to change one’s mind for better, heartily to amend with abhorrence of one’s past sins.

That definition certainly sums it up, but it seems weighty to me and difficult to apply to our lives. Couple Strong’s Concordance’s definition with the way my pastor likes to put it. He describes repentance like this:

You’re walking in sin, away from God.
You’re convicted of your sin by the Holy Spirit.
And then you repent, or take a 180 degree turn, away from your sin, toward Jesus.

This is repentance.

Repentance Can Be a Process

As said before, repentance can happen quickly. But sometimes it takes time to get through the process.

Sometimes when the Holy Spirit shows us our sin, we’re not ready or willing to face it. We justify ourselves, claiming we’re not completely in the wrong or not wrong at all. Essentially, we’re not willing to see our sin.

Yet, hopefully, at some point, we come to a point of conviction. We see our fault. We stop justifying our sin. But, it can take a while to come to this place, to understand the depth of our sin.

In a perfect world, with perfect people, we would turn from our sins quickly (and I certainly pray we do this). But in all reality, there are times God patiently and slowly draws us back to Himself through a process that leads us to repent. [Tweet that]

Don’t Delay Repenting

So, it is true. Repentance can be a process. But, this does not give us license to delay repenting. It is imperative to repent when shown our sin, for sin separates us from God and an unrepentant sinner will never live the life Jesus died for us to have.

I love what Martin Luther says in the first of his 95 theses. He said, “When our Lord and Master, Jesus Christ, said “Repent”, He called for the entire life of believers to be one of repentance.”

The fact of the matter is that we will never be perfect in this life. We will sin. But the mark of a true follower of Christ is repentance. [Tweet that] When we sin, we repent. It’s a rhythm that should course throughout our lives.

We sin. We repent.

So, I would like to encourage each of us (myself included) to submit to Jesus and come to repentance quickly when convicted of our sin.

I’ll leave you with the parable of the two sons. Notice in this passage the sin of each son. And see repentance in action.

[Jesus said] “What do you think? A man had two sons. And he went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work in the vineyard today.’ And he answered, ‘I will not,’ but afterward he changed his mind and went. And he went to the other son and said the same. And he answered, ‘I go, sir,’ but did not go. Which of the two did the will of his father?” They said, “The first.” Jesus said to them, “Truly, I say to you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came to you in the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes believed him. And even when you saw it, you did not afterward change your minds and believe him. – Matthew 21:28-32

{Repentance can be a process.}

Question: What has your experience been with repentance? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Lessons Learned} Healing Comes With Greater Understanding

Posted on March 23, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

In this brief video, I speak about how Jesus led me toward emotional healing from my past. Healing only came once I surrendered myself completely to Jesus and allowed Him complete access to my pain. Be sure to watch to hear about how Jesus brought me greater understanding which led to healing.

Healing Comes With Greater Understanding from Laurie Coombs on Vimeo.

{Greater understanding of the situations in our past can lead us toward healing.}

Question: Has Jesus healed you emotionally from your past? What was your experience? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Lessons Learned} Why We Need to Stop Comparing Ourselves to Each Other

Posted on March 21, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

Jesus said to him, “…what is that to you? You follow me!” – John 21:22

We cannot accurately judge our sins or behaviors by comparing ourselves to others. [Tweet that] And when we do so, our assessment of ourselves, our sins, and the consequence of those sins will, most assuredly, be skewed.

I addressed this issue with Anthony as we were working toward forgiveness. I wrote,

…one more thought that I have has to do with comparing ourselves to others. I think this is dangerous, yet I believe we all do it to a certain extent….

…we, as Christians, are not to judge ourselves based upon those around us. Many of us look around and consciously or unconsciously compare ourselves to others in the world. We look around and see that there are people out there who have done x or committed y, then we look to ourselves and say, “well, I haven’t done that, so I’m a pretty good person.”

Yet, the Bible teaches us that none are good. That we have all turned away from God, and were, at one time, enemies of God–our creator. We are reminded to be in the world, but not of the world. That we are different, and that we not think more highly of ourselves or our actions than we ought.

When comparing your sentence in relationship to your crime to that of those around you, what you’re essentially saying is that God isn’t in control of your situation; that He didn’t oversee your sentence. That because you had a “reason” [for murdering my dad] it’s somehow better than not having a reason. That you deserve less time because my dad got you really mad?!? As if that’s justification.

While Anthony disagreed with my assessment regarding God ordaining his sentence, he did write back and say, “You were right though in saying we Christians are held to a higher standard and I am wrong to compare my sentence to others.”

The standard we are to meet is God’s standard, not one that is arbitrarily orchestrated in our favor. [Tweet that] And God’s standard requires perfection, which is obviously unattainable and is the reason we need Jesus to save us.

Comparison

Comparison is folly. Pure and simple. [Tweet that]

Comparison says I sin, but at least I don’t sin like you. (Or I am the worst sinner there is, far greater than you.)

Comparison says I deserve more than you. (Or I am a worm who deserves nothing compared to you.)

Comparison says I am better than you. (Or you are better than me.)

Yet, the fact of the matter is that no one is better than any another. As said before, we all equally stand in need of grace and mercy. [Tweet that]

{We cannot accurately judge our sins or behaviors by comparing ourselves to others.}

Question: Do you find yourself comparing yourself to others? Share in the comments.

To leave a comment, click on the link above. This will take you to the post where you can leave your comment at the bottom.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Lessons Learned} No Sin is Justifiable: How Anthony Stopped Justifying Murder

Posted on March 18, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. – Ephesians 4:26-27

There is always a reason behind the sins we commit.

There is a reason I sometimes lose it and yell at my kids.

There is a reason I find myself rooting through my pantry, looking for something to fill me (though I’m not hungry), when I should be going to Jesus to be filled instead.

And there was a reason I stood in condemnation of Anthony, the man who murdered my dad, unable to forgive him for a decade.

Honestly, there are times when the reasons behind our sins seem legitimate. Sometimes our kids need to be disciplined. Sometimes we need to be filled. Sometimes we have been wronged.

The feelings we feel are legitimate. Sometimes, for example, we should be angry about the sins and atrocities committed in this world, for they anger God, and the anger we feel is what’s called righteous anger. But still, we must not sin regardless of whether or not there is a reason to.

No Sin is Justified

A couple weeks ago, I said all sins are forgivable, and this is true. All sin is forgivable, but ultimately, no sin is justifiable.

This issue was discussed extensively with Anthony during our correspondence. There was a reason Anthony killed my dad. And at one point, things got pretty heated as we discussed just that.

I felt Anthony was justifying the murder, saying that in some way he was justified to kill my dad because there was a “reason” behind what he did. As you can imagine, that didn’t sit well with me.

Anthony wrote:

I am in here with people who killed someone for no reason, or drugs or killed 2 people and have less time than me. I don’t think that’s justice. I am sorry.

We were discussing his sentence––life without the possibility of parole––which I believe is just for his crime. And when I read his words, I was set on fire. I responded and said,

…while you have said that you will “forever be sorry for what [you] did and how [you] hurt [my] family,” your last two letters seemed to indicate that you’re justifying your actions by claiming you had a “reason” for killing my dad. While I will never dispute the fact that my dad made some mistakes, there is absolutely no justification for what you did, and the fact that you had a “reason” for committing murder doesn’t make your actions any more or less of a crime.

Even though Anthony apologized for murdering my dad, I felt he was trying to justify his behavior. He, of course, didn’t see it that way. Anthony wrote back:

I have never said I had a “reason” for killing your dad but you wanted to know what led up to that day, what was my emotional state and such. I felt it was safe to give you an overview of the stuff leading up to it. This also seems to have been misconstrued as justification, not so.

Even though he maintained that he was not justifying his behavior, he repeatedly pointed to the actions of others involved, essentially saying, yeah I did it, but look what they did. When all I wanted to hear was, I did it. I am sorry. Period.

To Anthony’s credit, I asked him a lot of questions about the circumstances leading up to the murder. And he willingly gave me his perspective, which I am thankful for because it allowed me to gain greater understanding, leading to further healing.

Still, it felt as though he was using his “reasons” to justify taking my dad’s life. In my eyes, he was remorseful, but not yet repentant.

Months passed, and I was given grace to forgive despite Anthony’s justification. But then, I watched as Jesus began to change Anthony’s heart.

Two years later, Anthony wrote:

I needed to own what I did. I murdered a man. I did it…. I wanted to feel justified in what I did because the alternative was to hate myself, but when Laurie forgave me, she allowed me to forgive myself. I could also go to God humbly and ask his forgiveness. And God is so faithful, so I know I am forgiven.

Isn’t that why we all justify our sin? It’s difficult to live with ourselves once we come to understand that there is no one to blame but ourselves. Yet, there is comfort to be found in the forgiveness of God, which can be seen in Anthony’s story.

When we see his story, we see the power of God at work. God took an unrepentant murderer whose only option was to justify his behavior to escape self-loathing, and he transformed him by his grace. Jesus showed Anthony the Gospel. And Anthony finally came to a place of repentance and healing, as his excuses fell to the ground.

Through this process, both Anthony and I were shown that while the circumstances leading to sin can certainly bring understanding, they are by no means justification for our actions.

{There is always a reason behind the sins we commit, but no sin is justifiable.} [Tweet that]

Question - Each of us have been tempted to justify our actions at one point or another. I now I struggle with this from time to time. How about you? Do you take full responsibility for your sins or do you tend to justify your actions or place the blame on others involved? Share in the comments.

To leave a comment, click on the link above. This will take you to the post where you can leave your comment at the bottom.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.