{Lessons Learned} Be Gracious or Forgiveness Flows Out of a Changed Heart – Part 2

Posted on May 13, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

Early on in my walk with God, I was told that the Bible says that we’re sinners. Logically then, I thought, this would infer that I sin. It was a novel concept to me. Really, it was.

Up to this point, I never really thought about sin, and I certainly never thought I was a sinner or that I needed anything, let alone the help of a supposed God that could very well be the figment of someone’s imagination.

Truly, I was blind to the ways of God.

One day, after attending church for several weeks, however, I prayed. God, I said feeling a bit foolish, if I have any sins, show me. And boy did He deliver! I went from self-loving and self-idolizing (even though I was in a very bad place at the time) to self-loathing in no time at all.

Once stripped of all deception, I began to see who I truly was. And let me tell you, it was ugly.

But as I mentioned in Part 1, God doesn’t show us our sinful nature to beat us down, but instead, showing us our sins is intended to drive us into the arms of Jesus. Our sins show us our failures. They show us that we cannot do any good on our own. Truly, they show us our need.

No. We are not to loath ourselves as a result of our sin. But our sin should drive us back to where we were intended to be all along––in close communion with Father.

God choses undeserving sinners, washes them, and gives them new life. This is the grace of God.

Grace is a beautiful thing. [Tweet that]

But once we receive grace, we need to extend it to those around us.

When we understand that we are who we are by the grace of God alone, it should help us to see others through that same lens. We’re all prone to sin. We’re all prone to folly. And once we recognize this truth, it should compel us to live graceously with others and to forgive them.

You see, if we are around one another long enough we will hurt each other. We will sin against one another. We will fail one another. And while none of this is okay or justifiable, we need to have more grace with each other and forgive as we have been forgiven. [Tweet that]

As I have written extensively about before, there came a point as I was being led toward forgiving Anthony, the man who murdered my dad, that God clearly told me Laurie, you are no better than Anthony. And while it was difficult to hear, it is true. I am no better than any other. And I thought, who am I to withhold grace and forgiveness from another when Jesus so freely gave them to me? [Tweet that]

Truth is, we are all in need of grace. Let us all bring a bit more grace into our relationships today.

{Be gracious and forgive.}

Question: Who do you have a difficult time being gracious to? Why? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

Romans 8:28 Rings True

Posted on May 6, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

Last Thursday began like most days. Toward the end of my quiet time with Jesus, my girls came into my bedroom in all their morning cuteness, blurry-eyed and hair a fright. We cuddled together for a moment before beginning our morning routine of showering, dressing, and the like.

My girls usually finish getting ready before I do, so they ran downstairs, busying themselves with coloring and drawing in the kitchen. Moments later, however, I heard Avery, my younger daughter, yell, “Mom, Ella poked me with a pencil!”

To which Ella replied, “But it wasn’t very hard!”

Really?!? I thought. It was all going so well.

Turns out, Ella intentionally “poked” or stabbed (to be more exact) Avery with a pencil. Not okay in my book. But after disciplining Ella, we had a serious talk about hurting others.

Ella is seven. Up to this point, we have taught her about Jesus, we’ve talked about Jesus being her Savior, but I never asked them to pray the prayer for salvation.

I didn’t want this prayer to be something forced or something they just did because they’re told it’s what they’re supposed to do. I wanted it to be authentic. From their heart. I wanted them to desire Jesus and realize they can’t do this thing called life without Him!

This would not happen through any effort of my own. This would not happen by me leading them to say a prayer asking Jesus into their heart before they had the desire. What children need––what we all need––is the grace of God.

Salvation comes by grace through faith!

It is a gift from God. And it cannot be manipulated into being.

Ella and I talked about hurting others. We talked about the condition of her heart. We talked about our need for Jesus. And I can honestly say that for the first time, she was broken over her sin, and she realized she needed Jesus.

“Have you ever prayed for Jesus to save you?” I asked.

“No,” she said, tears streaming down her face.

“Do you want Jesus in your heart? Do you want Him to save you?”

“Yes,” she said without hesitation.

We talked extensively about what that meant and about who she knew Jesus to be.

“But I want you to say the prayer,” she told me.

“No honey. Mommy can’t do that,” I said. “I pray for you all the time, but this is a prayer you need to pray.” I told her that her relationship with Jesus is something that is her own. It’s something she needs to cultivate. No one else could do it for her.

“But I don’t know what to say.”

Facing one another, we held hands and began to pray, both of us crying like babies. With genuine sincerity, my little Ella prayed a “repeat after me” prayer for Jesus to be her Lord and Savior.

What began with her committing a sin against her sister ended with her brokenness and her salvation, and I praise Jesus for His grace.

“You’re way ahead of me,” I told Ella with a smile. “I wasn’t saved until I was 29!”

“Whoa,” she said, bright-eyed.

Thank God for grace.

Since then, I’ve been thinking. My dad was saved only months before his death by Jesus through the very events that led to his murder (more on this later). I was saved as a direct result of the effects of my dad’s death. And now, my daughter has been saved as a result of my salvation.

Romans 8:28 rings true.

{Jesus is our Redeemer.}

Question: How have you seen Romans 8:28 played out in your life? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Lessons Learned} Healing Comes With Greater Understanding

Posted on March 23, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

In this brief video, I speak about how Jesus led me toward emotional healing from my past. Healing only came once I surrendered myself completely to Jesus and allowed Him complete access to my pain. Be sure to watch to hear about how Jesus brought me greater understanding which led to healing.

Healing Comes With Greater Understanding from Laurie Coombs on Vimeo.

{Greater understanding of the situations in our past can lead us toward healing.}

Question: Has Jesus healed you emotionally from your past? What was your experience? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Lessons Learned} Jesus Accomplishes the Impossible

Posted on January 31, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

But he said, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.” – Luke 18:27

When we follow Jesus, He accomplishes the impossible. [Tweet that]

Lord, I pray for Anthony. Help him. Have your will be done in his life, and please, Lord, if he is truly a Christian let him be used by you in prison to turn lives around for your glory. Let him gather your people to you in prison! Lord, help him truly submit to you and your will and help him to be a true strong believer who turns from evil to your light.

- My prayer journal, May 2010

I prayed this prayer often as I began correspondence with Anthony, the man who murdered my dad. I prayed for Anthony to come to true repentance. For him to be brought to his knees and to transform him into a strong man of God who gained influence within his prison walls for Christ.

I knew Jesus could do it, but I have to be honest, I didn’t anticipate the power these prayers would have on both my destiny and that of Anthony’s. (If you have yet to read about what God did through our correspondence, read here or here, among many other posts.)

Jesus does the impossible in our lives.

You may find yourself to be surrounded by one of life’s storms right now.

Maybe you are late on your mortgage, and you don’t know where you’ll come up with your next payment.

Maybe you were laid off, and no matter how hard you try, you just can’t find another job.

Maybe your marriage is in shambles, on the verge of divorce, and you don’t know how to get back to that place you once were.

Maybe you’re struggling with addiction or another stronghold, and you can’t seem to escape from the shackles that weigh so heavy upon your soul.

Maybe you’ve experienced loss––a loss that threatens to crush your soul––and you cannot imagine ever feeling whole again.

Maybe you have lost hope and find yourself to be in the dark place of depression, and you don’t know how to climb out of the pit, back to where the sun will shine upon your soul once again.

Maybe you’ve received a bad report from your doctor, and you are in a place of utter despair, anxious about the uncertainty of your future.

Whatever your situation may be, know this:

Jesus is your answer. He’s calling to you, beckoning your soul to draw near. He tells us, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). As Luke 18:26 states, all things are possible with God. So no matter how bleek your situation my seem, know that we serve the God of impossibilities.

(For those of you who find yourselves to be in a relatively calm season of life, be sure to store this truth. The storms of life are sure to come. Ready yourself with truth.)

{Jesus accomplishes the impossible.}

Have you experienced Jesus accomplish the impossible in your life?

Join the discussion! Leave a comment.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Lessons Learned} In Order to Follow Jesus, We Must Know Jesus.

Posted on January 14, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

Do you trust someone you don’t know? Would you listen to the advice of someone you just met and follow them into a risky situation?

I think most people would have enough discernment to get to know someone prior to trusting them. And this translates well into our relationship with God. If you don’t know Jesus, why would you trust Him with your life?

Yes, it is true. In order to follow Jesus, we must know Jesus. [Tweet that]

Here’s how this played out in my story:

When I was called to forgive Anthony, I knew God is loving, and that He was simply asking me to give what He graciously gave me.

When I was called to love my enemy, I knew God is good, and that He would only ask me to do something that would lead me to a better place.

When I feared interaction with a man capable of murder, I knew God is my Protector, and I knew He loved me and there was no reason to fear.

When the warden turned down my visitation application, and I struggled with whether or not I was on the right path, I knew Jesus is my Shepherd, and He would show me the way.

When the correspondence between Anthony and I became “heated” as we hashed through the particulars of the murder, I knew God had purpose in even the most difficult times.

When I felt I couldn’t go on, when the emotions of digging up the darkest parts of my past threatened to pull me under, I knew God is my Healer, and He would bring me through.

When those in my life witnessed the intense trials along the way and began to express their doubts about whether I should continue, I knew God called me to correspond with Anthony, and He would redeem my dad’s murder through this trial.

When I got each letter and awaited direction from the Lord on how to proceed, I knew God usually doesn’t perform on my timetable. But, I knew He always answers those who cry out to Him, in His perfect timing.

When I forgave Anthony, I knew God gave me grace to forgive and there was nothing inside of me capable of that forgiveness apart from Him.

When I witnessed a complete transformation in Anthony as God brought him to repentance, I knew God is powerful, and He changes hearts of stone into ones that exude His light and beauty.

When I saw God use this testimony to transform others, including many prisoners, I knew God has a heart for the lost and chooses the least of these (myself included) to adopt into His family.

There’s so much more.

But here’s the thing: had I not known God’s character to begin with, I would not have followed, and I would have no testimony to share.

Knowing God

I don’t know how to say this without sounding harsh, but here’s the truth: many Christians claim to know and love Jesus but don’t.

Many of us claim to be in relationship with God, but spend little or no time in His presence. Many of us claim to know God, but actually possess very little knowledge about who God is––we don’t know His character as revealed in His Word.

But it’s not enough to simply know about God. We must know God. It’s important to ask ourselves: Do I really know God or do I just know about Him? This distinction may seem like a small nuance to some, but the difference is paramount.

So, how do we come to know God?

The answer is not in religion. [Tweet that] It’s not to be found in what we do or how good we are, but I do believe it begins prayer. A simple prayer asking Him for the grace to know Him and to want to spend time with Him. A marriage doesn’t thrive when the couple spends most of their time apart. They must make time together a priority if their marriage is going to thrive. It’s the same with your relationship with God.

Make time for Him. Spend time in prayer, write in a prayer journal, read your Bible, take a walk by yourself and seek God, or simply sit before Him in silence. Whatever it takes to come to Jesus, do it!

Make Jesus a priority and just watch what He begins to do in your life. [Tweet that]

As you come to him [Jesus], a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. – 1 Peter 2:4-5

{In order to follow Jesus, we must know Jesus.}

How has knowing God allowed you to step out in faith?

Share in the comments.

NOTE: I tried, really, I did. I tried to make it short, but this was surely anything but short! Here’s to keeping that goal in the future!!

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

Connecticut Shooting: How Do We Respond?

Posted on December 17, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. – Psalm 34:18

What do we do when 20 little children and 7 adults are slaughtered before our eyes? How do we respond?

No words of mine will ever do justice to this tragedy. To say it was a heinous act is an understatement.

Terrible. Wicked. Evil. Horrific.

None encapsulate the gravity of what has happened.

Having been on the receiving end of tragic news, I still have no words of comfort for those affected by this tragedy. To tell them I know what they’re going through can oftentimes be a slap in the face.

I remember many––with good intentions––tried to comfort and console me after my dad’s murder with their own stories of loss. I hate to admit this, but those who attempted to comfort me in this way only made me angry.

They don’t know what I’m going through, I thought.

They didn’t know my pain. They didn’t know what I was dealing with. They didn’t know my siblings and I would have to arrange for my dad’s cremation and funeral. They didn’t know we would have to take care of and clean up the crime scene after the investigation was complete. They didn’t know we would have to endure two years of preliminary hearings prior to the trial and would spend a week in the audience of my dad’s murder trial, and that I would speak to the jury during the sentencing phase.

Yet, even though I’ve been there. Even though my dad was murdered, I don’t know what the families in Connecticut are going through. This is their reality, not mine. We may know pain. But we don’t know their pain or their circumstance.

Still, to remain silent, I’ve learned, is hurtful as well. These families need support. They need to know they are loved. Coming to them. Entering into their pain and saying with honest sincerity, “I don’t know what to say, but I am here,” is the comfort they need.

When tragedy strikes, some victims prefer not to speak out, and this we must respect. But don’t mistake their lack of words for their lack of need. To sit in silence alongside someone who is suffering may be what’s in order.

Still, others need to talk. They need a listening ear. Not one that offers all the solutions or much guidance, but one that simply encourages them to talk. To process.

Regardless of how one grieves, we all need comfort in our time of need. We were created as relational beings. We need each other. Here are some other ways you can comfort those dealing with loss:

Bring lunch to them. Sit with them. Eat. Listen.
Drop off dinner (not only for one or two weeks after the tragedy but for longer).
Write a note of encouragement that doesn’t offer explanations or solutions but simply shows them you care.
Don’t forget the parents, grandparents, or siblings (little as they may be) in your efforts as well.

I don’t know how to do this from all the way over here in Nevada, but I pray Jesus allows each of us to be used. And I will certainly keep my heart open to whatever I am led to do.

I know now is not the time to attempt to find purpose in all of this, but I do know one thing. God will redeem this. Just as He does all things, He will bring good out of this evil.

This I’m sure of.

{Allow Jesus to use you to comfort the brokenhearted.}

Are there any other ways you can think of to care for, comfort, or minister to the families of those lost?

Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Prayer Gifts} Praying for the Impossible

Posted on November 12, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

If you recall, I had Lee Merrill guest post on my blog a while back, and today I’m over on her blog Prayer Gifts. Join me there as I recount the answered prayers throughout my journey toward forgiveness in Praying for the Impossible.

If you’re joining me from Prayer Gifts, welcome! I hope you’ll take a moment, read, and stay a while. Be sure to subscribe (along the right hand side of my blog) to receive new posts by email or your reader of choice!

Blessings…

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Redemption} “Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life!”

Posted on November 8, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

“Your testimony may have saved a life!” wrote Anthony––the man who murdered my dad––from his prison cell. Holding the letter, I stood in stunned silence, tears rolling down my face.

Oh Lord, I thought, as I closed my eyes and dropped my head back, in awe. There really were no words. Thank you, Lord, thank you, was all that I could say in worship to our mighty God.

I was called to forgive. To love my enemy. To allow Jesus unhindered access to the pain, the bitterness, and the wounds of my past which took residence in the deepest recess of my soul.

I knew that He wanted to take me to a new, better place. A place of healing, peace, and forgiveness. So, I followed. By the grace of God alone, I followed Jesus as He led me down the messy, war-torn path toward wholeness. It was a trial like no other, yet upon reading this letter, it was all worth it, as I witnessed the fruit of following Jesus.

Anthony wrote:

I read your testimony at our church service yesterday and today, I told them what an amazing God we serve that could bring two people at opposite ends of the spectrum together in forgiveness. That this story has particular meaning to me cuz I’m who it was written about, I’m the one who killed her dad. I then I said not only had you forgiven me but you’d encouraged me. Then I read the last paragraph of your last letter! I told them nothing is unforgivable, Christ was crucified for every sin. I told them to place God in the center of their most broken relationship and pray. They may not find that kind of forgiveness but they would find forgiveness in them and then they’d know the peace that surpasses all understanding.

There were men crying, one guy stood up and said he’d lost his wife to another man (I didn’t tell them why I had done what I’d done). He said for the last few months he had decided when he got out he was going to kill the man. Now He’d decided to pray and forgive. Your testimony may have saved a life! How awesome is our God! God has used you and me and this horrible crime to heal, not only us, but others. Now your forgiveness has truly settled into my heart. I won’t let your dad’s life nor mine be in vain, I promise. Thank you for making it possible to share this amazing testimony. I believe God is not finished with either of us, tomorrow is a good day.

This is something only Jesus can do. No human could have even begun to orchiestrate what He has done through my journey to forgiveness.

Anthony, who was once sorrowful, but not repentant, came to repent before the Lord and went on to live to the glory of God within the confines of his prison. In fact, I received a letter from him a couple weeks ago telling me about a revival service that he helped with where over 20 inmates came forward to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior during the alter call (which was more than they’ve ever seen).

And I, who was once burdened by the anger and bitterness that weigh many victims down, was freed from the prison of anger/bitterness and was set on a new path proclaiming the glory of our Lord, and what He can do through our obedience to His call.

This is what God does. He takes our messes and brings redemption and beauty.

And my question to you today is this: How might Jesus want to use your testimony to the benefit of others?

We each have a story to tell. Each Christ follower has experienced God’s redemption, and for those who have yet to come to faith in Jesus, the moment you submit your life to Christ, you will experience it.

So, what’s holding you back from sharing your testimony?

{When you are transparent, God uses your testimony!}

Questions: What’s your story of redemption? What areas in your life would you like to see Jesus redeem? A broken relationship? A sin pattern that you just can’t seem to kick? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

Let Me See As You See

Posted on October 25, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

We all have biases that skew our perception. What if we were to ask God to allow us to shed these biases and to see as He sees? How would your life change?

In my case, I was given the grace to see the situation and events pertaining to my dad’s murder anew. Watch to hear more.

Lord, I pray, let me see as you see….

{Let us shed our biases, by the grace of God, and see our past anew!}

Are you aware of your biases? What biases would you like to shed?

Just a Bunch of Dumb Sheep

Posted on October 5, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

“Really, we’re all just a bunch of dumb sheep,” I told my sister on the phone yesterday. “We’d like to think that we’re smart, that we can figure it all out on our own, but it’s simply not true. Dumb sheep must stay close to their Shepherd!”

It doesn’t take long when observing sheep to realize they’re not the brightest of creatures. Because of this, they are vulnerable and need a shepherd to guide and protect them. In the bible, we are likened to sheep, and we are told that Jesus is our Shepherd (John 10). Referring to a shepherd, Jesus says,

The sheep hear [the shepherd's] voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice….

I am the good Shepherd. The good Shepherd lays down His life for the sheep. - John 10:3b-4, 11

As this passage says, a shepherd knows his sheep and calls them by name. What a comforting truth it is that Jesus knows us by name. Individually, intimately––He knows each and every one of His fold. A shepherd goes before his sheep, leading them along the best path. A shepherd, protects his sheep, keeping them from harm and from the ravenous wolves of the world. Jesus is our good Shepherd, as John 10:11 says, protecting us unto death.

When called to have contact with Anthony, I knew that I could not even pretend to embark on this journey without the close guidance of Jesus. We must stay close to our Shepherd. Close enough that we are immediately and keenly aware when we are even one step out of line with His will for us.

We are dumb sheep. We cannot rely upon ourself to know what’s best. In our human frailty, we are sure to make mistakes, we are sure to be deceived by our own flawed feelings, by the deceptions of Satan, and by the enticing lurings of the world. If we do not remain under the staff and rod of our Shepherd’s leading, we are sure to fall.

Our flesh, Satan, and the world are master deceivers, so how are we to ensure that we remain living under the sound teachings of God, believing truth, and don’t fall victim to deception? It is only through staying under the close guidance of Jesus.

Take everything to God in prayer and don’t move until you are certain of God’s will. Jesus prepares our way, but we need discernment––given through prayer, God’s word, Godly council of other biblically sound Christians––to remain on the path He has prepared.

Additionally, don’t rely on your feelings as your guide, as many erroneously do. The bible tells us that, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick” (Jeremiah 17:9).

But ultimately, again, stay close to the heart of Jesus. Incline your heart toward His, and you will remain in His protective arms.

Jesus tells us that, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10). Let us follow Him, our good Shepherd, toward the life that He died for us to have––a life centered upon Him where joy and His grace flow.

{Dumb sheep must stay close to their Shepherd!}