{Lessons Learned} Do You Need Jesus to Forgive?

Posted on April 25, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

I had a feeling something was still there. Some residual scarring caused by my dad’s murder. In a way, I wanted to go there. Get it all out. Heal completely. But at the same time, I feared what would be found.

I sure hope I’m not really screwed up, I thought.

But I knew some soul work needed to be done. Digging would have to take place. And the root of whatever was left behind would have to be excavated and restored.

I tried to do this on my own for nine years after Dad died. I tried to “pick myself up by my bootstraps” and move on, reasoning that Dad would have wanted it this way. He wouldn’t want me to succumb to the wave of despair that threatened to swallow me whole.

So, I moved on. Each time the thought of Anthony came into my mind, I chose with precise deliberation to cast these thoughts aside.

I forgive him, I’d tell myself, knowing full well that I didn’t. I thought if I did this long enough, it would become my reality. It was the only way I knew how to move toward forgiveness, and I hoped this would allow me to shed the effects of my past.

Even the secular world tells us to forgive. “You must forgive and forget,” we’re told.

And, so we do. Or we think we do.

We will ourselves into believing that we’ve arrived at the desired destination. That we’ve forgiven.

I forgive Anthony, I told myself. I do.

Then, I became a Christian after completely falling apart. And I mean completely falling apart. I’ve written about this time before, but for our purpose here, I must tell you that I don’t think I would have gotten to this point of complete desperation and complete lack of hope had it not been for my unforgiving heart (The one I thought was forgiving, mind you).

So, there I was, a baby Christian, one year after surrendering my life to Christ when the call to forgive came. Quite frankly, I was surprised.

But I’ve already forgiven Anthony, came my rebuttal to God.

Soon, I learned that forgiveness––real forgiveness, that is––can only be accomplished through Jesus, the one who died to make forgiveness possible.

It’s the same with all things.

We cannot love, in the full sense of the term, without first receiving God’s love.

We cannot extend true mercy or grace without first receiving God’s mercy and grace.

So to, we cannot forgive, completely and unconditionally, without first receiving God’s forgiveness. [Tweet that]

It is Jesus who made forgiveness possible, and it is He who guides us onto our own path toward forgiveness. [Tweet that]

I’ve mentioned this before, but I don’t think I can emphasize it enough. Forgiveness is a process. It is not something that occurs instantly. And it requires a decision to pray for Jesus to guide you toward that end.

So, I encourage each of you to take another look at your life. Take another look at you relationships. And prayerfully assess whether or not you hold unforgiveness in your heart. And if you do, I implore you to seek God and forgive.

Forgiveness will set you free. [Tweet that]

Remember, forgiveness begins with prayer. [Tweet that] Pray for God to lead you toward freedom today.

{Forgiveness is only possible through Jesus.}

Question: Has God been showing you unforgiveness in your heart? Who do you need to forgive? How have you tried to forgive apart from God? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Repentance} Wanna Be Empowered Today?

Posted on April 8, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

I’ve been talking a lot about repentance, and I know it can become a weighty topic, to say the least. But I feel like God has empowered me in this area recently, and I just have to pass this along.

I’ve been feeling convicted lately about several sins in my life. And maybe it’s just me, but do you ever feel like you need to repent but you need to wait for the empowerment of God to do so? [Tweet that]

Well, this is where I found myself last week.

During my quiet time with God, I decided to begin reading Romans. I opened it up, read the first paragraph, and that was just about enough for the day. I needed to digest what I read, so I read it again. And again.

Toward the end of that paragraph, Paul says, “through [Jesus] we have received grace and apostleship to bring about the obedience of faith for the sake of his name…” (Romans 1:5).

We received grace to bring about the obedience of faith. We received grace. Past tense. It’s a done deal.

I love what the ESV Study Bible footnote says. It says, “Obedience is required, but it is an obedience that flows from saving faith and is always connected to ongoing faith” (emphasis mine).

We Are Empowered

Here’s the thing: The moment we are saved. The moment we bow our knee to Jesus, accepting Him to be Lord of our lives and Savior of our souls, we were given the gift of the Holy Spirit (see Acts 1:8).

The Spirit is power. He is all the power we need to live out this Christian life. [Tweet that]

Acts 1:8 says, “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you…”

Romans 8:11 tells us that “If the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.”

We have been given life. We have been set free from sin and death through Jesus. And we are now free to live a life of power through the Holy Spirit.

So, why do we, at times, feel so impotent to live out godly lives? What takes the wind out of our sails? [Tweet that]

Deception.

Truth tells us we have the power of the Holy Spirit to live out our faith.

Satan tells us we have no power within us or we need to wait for empowerment.

There are times we need to wait on the Lord for sure, but we never need to wait to repent. We never need to wait to feel empowered to do that which we are called to do. But instead, remember that we are empowered to follow Jesus.

So, here’s the bottom line: You don’t need to wait for the ability to live out your Christian life, you already have the power within. Now live like you believe it.

{The same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead lives in you. Believe and live in light of this truth.}

Question: Do you ever feel like you need to wait for the empowerment of the Holy Spirit? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Lessons Learned} Rely Upon Jesus

Posted on February 14, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of themand said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven….” – Matthew 18:2-3

Lord, I can’t do this without you, I prayed. Help me. Give me wisdom. Show me the way, and I will follow.

I can’t tell you how often I uttered these words throughout my correspondence with Anthony, the man who murdered my dad. I was under no illusion I could take even one step without clear direction from Jesus during this difficult journey. I was terrified to be outside of His will, for I knew things could go very wrong in a situation like this apart from God.

Each time I received a letter, my emotions ran high. I wanted to react quickly, with little grace. I wanted to rebuke Anthony. Set him straight. I wanted him to see as I saw. (It turns out, however, I wasn’t always right. We both had a lot to learn.) But I had a strong conviction that I wasn’t to trust my thoughts and I wasn’t to respond to my emotions, but instead, I was to wait.

I needed to respond not react to Anthony’s letters, but I needed to wait for my emotions to settle before I was able to do so. As I waited, I put Anthony’s latest letter on my nightstand as a reminder to pray, to seek the Lord in how He wanted me to respond. I needed clarity. And clarity only came with time.

Here’s the truth: If we are to remain in the will of God, we must be in complete reliance upon Jesus. [Tweet that]

When presented with a trial, it seems easier to depend on God. The difficulty comes when applying this truth to everyday life. When life settles down, we seem to think we’ve got it covered, when in all actuality, we don’t. We deceive ourselves when we think we don’t need Jesus’ direction with every detail of our lives. [Tweet that]

How would our lives be different, what impact would our lives have, how much joy would we experience if we were to simply seek the will of God (and not move until we hear Him speak) in all we do and all we say? This, I believe, is paramount to living life victoriously. Jesus has a call on each of our lives. He wants to use us. But we must rely on Him and surrender completely to His will in order to get there.

Just imagine what He could do with our lives if we die to ourselves and live for Him!

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. – Psalm 16:11

{If we are to remain in the will of God, we must be in complete reliance upon Jesus.}

Do you live in complete reliance upon Jesus? If so, what impact has this had on your life? If not, how might your life change if you began to do so?

Join the discussion! Leave a comment.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

Lessons Learned Through Forgiving My Dad’s Murderer

Posted on January 10, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

God reveals His truths everywhere.

Colossians 1:23 tells us the Gospel is “proclaimed in all creation under heaven,” and what is the Gospel, but truth.

The Gospel tells us about God. It tells us about our fallen nature. It tells us we serve a merciful and gracious God, who had every reason to simply write off humanity, but instead, choose to die on our behalf.

It speaks of redemption, that we have been redeemed and are being made new. And finally it speaks of restoration, that one day, all things will be made new, and we will live eternally in the presence of God.

What a time that will be.

All of creation proclaims God’s truths to humanity, but God, Himself, also speaks to us, through His Word and in many other subtle ways throughout our life. Each and every time we come to Him, He honors us with His teachings. Jesus tells us in Matthew 11:29, “Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” All we must do is simply come to Him every moment of every day, as a child does to his parents, and we will be shown the way.

I have learned much from Jesus in my short time being a Christian. And I know I still have much to learn, but I want to pass along the truths that were given to me through my journey toward forgiveness.

Beginning today, I will be writing a series of smaller posts on each of the lessons I was taught (I apologize for the size of this one! I try to keep my blog posts short, as I know your time is limited, but sometimes the length just gets away from me!). I’d love for you to join me as I explore (and in some cases, relearn) some very important truths.

As a sneak peek into what’s to come, I’ve included a list of what will be covered below. It is my hope that the grace that was so mercifully given to me will be passes along to you…

So, here they are:

In order to follow Jesus, we must know Jesus.
God is bigger. God is bigger than your situation. God is bigger than the sins committed against you. God is bigger than your enemy. God is bigger than your sin. God is bigger than your resistance.
God is in control. We can trust Him.
When Jesus calls, follow.
Sometimes the things God calls us to won’t make sense, but we still must follow.
When we follow Jesus, He accomplishes the impossible.
There will be difficulties along our path, and these difficulties or roadblocks don’t necessarily mean we’re on the wrong path. Just because something is hard doesn’t mean it’s not God’s will.
We can’t allow fear motivate our decisions.
We must be in complete reliance upon Jesus.
We need to wait for the Lord before we take action.
Jesus died for every sin including murder.
We cannot stand in judgement of the sins of others.
We are no better than a repentant murderer. Sin is sin.
No sin is justifiable, but all sin is forgivable.
We cannot compare ourselves to one another to accurately judge our sins or behavior.
Greater understanding brings greater healing.
Repentance is a process.
Though all sin is forgivable, consequences of sin remains.
We must all guard our hearts and assure we aren’t cultivating an environment for sin to grow in our souls.
Only God’s grace can allow us to forgive completely, unconditionally. We must seek Him.
Forgiveness requires us to humble ourselves. The proud never admit they may be wrong or their perspective may be askew. The humble seek to see as Jesus does even if that means they find fault in themselves.
Forgiveness requires a changed heart.
Healing a broken heart requires that we allow God to being us back to our most broken places, into the darkness of our soul in order to see, truly see our situation as God does.
Truth leads to transformation.
We truly are nothing apart from Christ.
We are blessed to be a blessing.
God works all things for good for those who know and live Him.
Maintaining a victim mentality only harms victims further. Forgiveness frees us from this destructive way of thinking.
The call to love our enemy isn’t a concept to be done theoretically, but is intended to be literal and requires action.
Harboring unforgiveness only embitters us and draws the very life from us.
The fruit of obedience is bountiful.
The written word is powerful.
Sometimes God speaks loudly, other times He simply whispers.
Going on a journey with Jesus is quite an adventure.
Jesus, truly, brings sight to the blind.
Jesus goes before us.
Forgiveness requires action.
The Christian life is not one marked by passivity, but instead, it requires that we step out in faith, empowered by the spirit, to do whatever it is that Jesus lays on our hearts.
God’s plan is far greater than ours.
No matter how hard it gets, if you know Jesus led you down this path, don’t give up!

{It is God’s truth that saves.}

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Redemption} “Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life!”

Posted on November 8, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

“Your testimony may have saved a life!” wrote Anthony––the man who murdered my dad––from his prison cell. Holding the letter, I stood in stunned silence, tears rolling down my face.

Oh Lord, I thought, as I closed my eyes and dropped my head back, in awe. There really were no words. Thank you, Lord, thank you, was all that I could say in worship to our mighty God.

I was called to forgive. To love my enemy. To allow Jesus unhindered access to the pain, the bitterness, and the wounds of my past which took residence in the deepest recess of my soul.

I knew that He wanted to take me to a new, better place. A place of healing, peace, and forgiveness. So, I followed. By the grace of God alone, I followed Jesus as He led me down the messy, war-torn path toward wholeness. It was a trial like no other, yet upon reading this letter, it was all worth it, as I witnessed the fruit of following Jesus.

Anthony wrote:

I read your testimony at our church service yesterday and today, I told them what an amazing God we serve that could bring two people at opposite ends of the spectrum together in forgiveness. That this story has particular meaning to me cuz I’m who it was written about, I’m the one who killed her dad. I then I said not only had you forgiven me but you’d encouraged me. Then I read the last paragraph of your last letter! I told them nothing is unforgivable, Christ was crucified for every sin. I told them to place God in the center of their most broken relationship and pray. They may not find that kind of forgiveness but they would find forgiveness in them and then they’d know the peace that surpasses all understanding.

There were men crying, one guy stood up and said he’d lost his wife to another man (I didn’t tell them why I had done what I’d done). He said for the last few months he had decided when he got out he was going to kill the man. Now He’d decided to pray and forgive. Your testimony may have saved a life! How awesome is our God! God has used you and me and this horrible crime to heal, not only us, but others. Now your forgiveness has truly settled into my heart. I won’t let your dad’s life nor mine be in vain, I promise. Thank you for making it possible to share this amazing testimony. I believe God is not finished with either of us, tomorrow is a good day.

This is something only Jesus can do. No human could have even begun to orchiestrate what He has done through my journey to forgiveness.

Anthony, who was once sorrowful, but not repentant, came to repent before the Lord and went on to live to the glory of God within the confines of his prison. In fact, I received a letter from him a couple weeks ago telling me about a revival service that he helped with where over 20 inmates came forward to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior during the alter call (which was more than they’ve ever seen).

And I, who was once burdened by the anger and bitterness that weigh many victims down, was freed from the prison of anger/bitterness and was set on a new path proclaiming the glory of our Lord, and what He can do through our obedience to His call.

This is what God does. He takes our messes and brings redemption and beauty.

And my question to you today is this: How might Jesus want to use your testimony to the benefit of others?

We each have a story to tell. Each Christ follower has experienced God’s redemption, and for those who have yet to come to faith in Jesus, the moment you submit your life to Christ, you will experience it.

So, what’s holding you back from sharing your testimony?

{When you are transparent, God uses your testimony!}

Questions: What’s your story of redemption? What areas in your life would you like to see Jesus redeem? A broken relationship? A sin pattern that you just can’t seem to kick? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

God Wants to Use You!

Posted on November 6, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

Shortly after forgiving Anthony, I closed one of my letters to him with this:

I pray for God’s will in your life, and that He uses you where you are for His purposes to further the Gospel! Be an ambassador right where you are! Be sure not to waste your life in there. I believe we’re all placed right where we’re supposed to be. I was listening to a sermon by John Piper the other day…what was so prominent about this particular sermon was his call for all God’s children to not waste their lives. Most of us do, and that’s a tragedy. Just because you’re in prison, doesn’t mean that you’ve wasted your life. Allow the Spirit of God to use you in there to transform lives according to His will!!! Do not let my dad’s death be in vain. Do not let your life be in vain. God wants to use you!

I hope you are well.

Take care and God bless,

Laurie

It’s a profound truth to be told that no matter what situation you find yourself in, you can still be used by God. Nothing that we do, no sin that we commit can disqualify us from serving Jesus. This truth is controversial. It’s counter-cultural. And it can seem ludicrous!

But God’s ways are not ours. I heard a pastor once say that God will continually fill that which we offer Him to fill. In other words, when we’re willing, when we lay ourselves down before the Lord and ask Him to use us, He does.

Each of us has a calling. Callings are not reserved for those who have it all together, or for those who seem to be the Christian elite, or even for those that some tout to be the “heroes” of the Bible. No. God has a call on each of our lives. The question is: Will you offer yourself up to be used?

Just as Pastor John Piper says, “Don’t waste your life!” Submit yourself to the Lord and you will begin to witness a powerful move of God in and through you!

{Nothing can disqualify you from serving the Lord.}

Do you believe this truth?

Do you believe that Jesus is simply waiting for you to be willing to be used?

Let Me See As You See

Posted on October 25, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

We all have biases that skew our perception. What if we were to ask God to allow us to shed these biases and to see as He sees? How would your life change?

In my case, I was given the grace to see the situation and events pertaining to my dad’s murder anew. Watch to hear more.

Lord, I pray, let me see as you see….

{Let us shed our biases, by the grace of God, and see our past anew!}

Are you aware of your biases? What biases would you like to shed?

Freedom Through Grace

Posted on October 23, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

“He’s doing it again,” I told my friend, Sarah, “listen to this!” I read the letter I received that afternoon from Anthony.

“Why won’t he simply say ‘I did it. It was my fault. Period.’” I said. “He’s still trying to justify his actions! He committed murder! He killed my dad! There’s no justification for that!”

After talking it though, I sat down and began to type my response, adrenaline pumping through my veins. I wanted to rebuke him. Set him straight. He claimed to be a Christian now. Why isn’t he repentant? Why does he keep blame shifting? I thought.

I wrote, words pouring forth like flood waters out of my heart, addressing each of the issues and backing them with scripture. Oh, this is good, I thought, but I knew.

This was not the response God wanted.

I prayed, as I awaited direction from Jesus. Days passed and turned to weeks, and finally, the answer came.

Grace.

It was true. Anthony was far from where I wanted him to be. But, it was at this moment I felt Jesus speak to my soul. Leave Anthony to me. Now forgive. And honestly, the crazy thing is that I was given the grace to forgive. In this moment. In the midst of my anger.

I sat down to revise my letter to Anthony, and at the end of it, I wrote,

…despite the fact that we will probably never see eye to eye in all areas, I do forgive you…. I hope this finds you well, and I pray that God heals you from your past as He is doing for me. I pray that you learn to live your life for God wherever He has you, and that you’re able to find peace in this life.

Forgiveness set me free. I was free of the anger, the bitterness, and the pain that held me captive for over a decade.

What’s more is that after I extended grace, I witnessed a transformation that was almost palpable in Anthony, as Jesus brought him to a place of repentance and healing.

I was called to forgive. To love my enemy. To give Jesus unhindered access to the pain and bitterness which took residence in the deepest recess of my soul. Out of this––following Jesus into my unknown, scary places––I witnessed the redemption and grace of our mighty God.

We serve an amazing God.

A God who gives us grace to do the impossible.

A God who redeems.

And I encourage you today to place Christ at the center of your most broken relationship and extend the grace that was freely given to you.

…while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. - Romans 5:8

{Forgiveness sets you free!}

Question: Have you ever experienced freedom through grace or forgiveness?

Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Red Like Blood} Freedom Through Grace

Posted on October 18, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

Today, I have the honor to be guest blogging for RedLikeBlood.com. Join me there to read about the moment I was given the grace needed to forgive Anthony in my latest post entitled, Freedom Through Grace.

If you’re visiting from RedLikeBlood.com, welcome! I hope you’ll take a moment, read, and stay a while…

Red Like Blood is a book written by Joe Coffey and Bob Bevington, two men who have both experienced the amazing power of God’s grace in their lives, as I have.

I, for one, will be reading their book. Here’s a little synopsis:

…the grace of God is much more than sweet. It is also explosive, pervasive, powerful, relentless, amazing, devastating, raw, and beautiful.

Grace is deadly serious stuff. Many of our encounters with grace—the real, true grace by which God changes us one step at a time—are much more like confrontations.

These confrontations are jarring. They shake us up. Cracks appear in our carfeully constructed facades. That’s when grace can penetrate, Red Like Blood, flowing into those cracks, working its way deep down inside, and doing a work we could never imagine or accomplish on our own.

I encourage each of you to visit RedLikeBlood.com to learn more about the book and these two amazing men of God. I am sure you will be blessed by doing so.

Blessings…

Be sure to subscribe (along the right column) to receive future posts directly into your email inbox!

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Love Your Enemy} Overcome Evil With Good

Posted on October 16, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. – Romans 12:17-21

Overcome evil with good. As I prayed about how to apply this scripture, I realized that God calls us to treat every person––regardless of who they are and what they’ve done––with dignity and kindness. This included Anthony, the man who murdered my dad.

It became increasingly clear that if I were to have any impact on Anthony for good throughout my correspondence with him, I would have to live out this scripture. Though it was immensely difficult, I chose kindness above my feelings, and I began to understand a bit more about how to love my enemy.

{We are to treat every person with the dignity, for all men are created in the likeness and image of God.}