{Guest Blog} I Forgive You – Written by: Anthony, my dad’s murderer

The latest letter arrived from prison a couple days ago. Anthony, the man who murdered my dad, said, “I sent you something I wrote, I feel God has placed this on my heart. I hope it’s something you’d consider putting on your blog.”

And to that, I say, “absolutely.” God has allowed both Anthony and I the opportunity to share this story with many. I believe it’s a story that needs to be heard, for there are many who remain chained to their past, to their resentment, their bitterness, and their lack of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a topic that will always resound in each of our hearts, mine included. It is so easy to hold on to our wounds, but what relief it is to finally let them go. [Tweet that]

So, without further adieu. Here’s a word from Anthony.

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“I forgive you.” I read the words again. “I forgive you.” These weren’t just lightly said words from someone I had hurt with some casual remark. These words had come from the daughter of the man I had shot and killed eleven years earlier. [Tweet that]

Suddenly, the enormity of what I had done punched me right in the gut. Tears came, guilt threatened to overwhelm me. What had I done? How could I have done it? I asked God these same questions: how, why? He had always responded the same way Laurie did, “I forgive you.”

I had taken that forgiveness for granted, I mean I knew His word in 1 John 1:9 said if we confess our sins, God is faithful to forgive us, but the cost of that forgiveness began to sink in.

And how did that explain Laurie forgiving me?

Yes, God’s word also tells us in Matthew 6:14 that we are to forgive as we have been forgiven but how many of us actually do it or receive it? Especially from someone we had hurt so deeply. This is why Christ hung on that cross: forgiveness. Not cheap forgiveness in the form of words we throw around hoping to make everything better. But sacrificial, pain-filled forgiveness. Forgiveness the world can’t understand, even us sometimes.

I knew Laurie had not said these words lightly, that it was one of the hardest things she’d done. But I also knew that her relationship with Jesus would not allow her any other way, “I forgive you.”

How many of us have that kind of relationship with God? My guilty feelings weren’t only about what I’d done, but the realization that I didn’t have this kind of relationship with my Lord and Savior.

How many times had I judged another inmate because of his crime? Unforgiveness.

How many times had I angrily thought about the past? Unforgiveness.

So, when Laurie forgave me it set in motion in my life a new attitude. I wanted to know Jesus! I wanted the kind of relationship with Him that allowed me to forgive, to love, and to seek the fallen.

When you destroy someone made in God’s image, how can you make up for that? You can’t. But Jesus did, He died so that we can be forgiven. Because He did this for us, our relationship with Him must be sacrificial too. We have to forgive. How can we do anything less?

Die to self. We have to forgive even when it’s the most counterintuitive, painful, gut-wrenching thing we’ll ever do. [Tweet that] Because after that, love flows in and it fills up the space that the anger and the hate and the bitterness took up. And it just may save someone else!

Let His light shine in you. Unforgiveness dims that light. It starts with forgiveness.

Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sins are put out of sight. Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of sin. – Romans 4:7-8

{It starts with forgiveness.}

Have you experienced forgiveness like this? Or in what area do you need to experience forgiveness?

Join the discussion. Leave a comment.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Guest Blog} A Word From Within the Prison By: Anthony, My Dad’s Murderer

Stories are never one sided. There are multiple perspectives to each story we have, and I believe it’s important to understand each perspective in order to gain greater understanding of the story itself.

A while back, I asked Anthony, the man who murdered my dad, if he would be interested in sharing his testimony on my blog, and he agreed. He told me in the letter including his testimony, “I chose to concentrate on our journey because, well, it’s been the most important event in my life since coming to Jesus.”

I would have to agree. Our journey toward forgiveness impacted me and my life in more ways than I can count. Second to coming to Christ, it was the single most defining moment of my life. But enough about me.

Here is Anthony’s story.

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I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior on Father’s Day in 1996. Changes started happening. I stopped swearing, started reading the Bible, but I was still a carnal man, saved but selfish. It wasn’t until I received the “letter” that I knew I had to make some serious changes.

You see, my behavior had caused my wife to run to another man, and I had murdered that man. His name was Rick and I received a life sentence for killing him.

I was ten years into my sentence when I got the “letter.” It was from his daughter, Laurie, and she wanted to visit me. I was okay with it, but the prison turned her down. But God had a plan for us, and if it couldn’t happen in person, it would be through letters. What I was about to embark upon was an amazing two year journey on forgiveness.

Now at first, I was not a willing participant. I had committed this horribly selfish act ten years previously and really didn’t want to go back over it. I had it settled in my mind and was satisfied with my excuses. I had, up to this point, kept God’s light from shining into this area of my life. I knew going over this with his daughter was going to force me to be brutally honest with myself and her.

My flimsy excuses would no longer hold up.

But as we went on this journey, I found I didn’t need my excuses, God seemed to show up in each letter. Now, I’m not saying it was easy, forgiveness rarely is, but after two years, trust was built and forgiveness given. And when Laurie forgave me for murdering her father, I knew why the cross was so important. I finally and fully understood God’s forgiveness through Christ’s sacrifice.

This journey also awakened in me a new hunger for God. It also gave me a voice. In prison, there are none but the guilty. And the guilt, as I well knew, is a heavy burden. Christ told us his burden is light and I found that what makes it light is forgiveness. It’s through forgiveness that we can have a relationship with God and others. As Laurie has said, forgiveness is messy, but it’s also life-altering.

I wanted to tell others. So, I began telling the men at our church. Laurie’s church (Living Stones) had made a video with her speaking about what her and I had gone through. We showed it in here several times. I spoke in front of a large mens group about forgiveness.

We all want forgiveness. We need it. It’s what makes life livable. But how often do we seek those out that need to forgive or need our forgiveness?

Christ said He came to give us a more abundant life. Well, there is no abundance without forgiveness. How can we love without forgiveness? How can we live a life for God without forgiveness?

I thank God for giving Laurie the courage to write that first letter to her father’s killer. Without that letter, I’d still be struggling. We need to reach out and forgive, as believers we must do it. It will be the most freeing thing you’ll ever do.

- Anthony

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Prayer Gifts} Praying for the Impossible

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If you recall, I had Lee Merrill guest post on my blog a while back, and today I’m over on her blog Prayer Gifts. Join me there as I recount the answered prayers throughout my journey toward forgiveness in Praying for the Impossible.

If you’re joining me from Prayer Gifts, welcome! I hope you’ll take a moment, read, and stay a while. Be sure to subscribe (along the right hand side of my blog) to receive new posts by email or your reader of choice!

Blessings…

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Triple Braided} Resting in His Faithful Arms

I’m over at Triple Braided today writing for Brenda Rogers, author of e-book Fall for Him. Join me there to read my latest post, Resting in His Faithful Arms, in which I write about how we may simply rest in our Father’s loving arms as we follow Him.

If your visiting from Triple Braided, welcome! Be sure to take a moment, look around, and read.

And don’t forget to subscribe (in the right hand column) to receive future posts via email or in your reader of choice!

Blessings to you all today…

 

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

I Can’t Quit People {Guest Blog}

It is my honor, today, to introduce you all to Lee Merrill, and amazing woman of God who lives life to the encouragement of others and to the glory of God. Much wisdom can be gleaned from her guest blog today. Enjoy!

 

I Can’t Quit People

By Lee Merrill

Sometimes, I feel like I’m two separate people stuck in one me.

There’s the one who wants Jesus to be everything. She drinks in God’s presence and truth the way a thoroughbred drinks water after the race of its life.

Then, there’s the one who can’t get enough people praise. She strives and strains for “Atta girls” the way a house pet begs for tidbits from the table.

I totally get Paul’s lament in Romans because I could have written it myself.

I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge. I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? (Romans 7:17-24 MSG)

Sometimes, the battle of my two selves gets the best of me and tempts me to withdraw from both God and people. The same shame that compelled Adam and Eve to hide from God in the garden pulls me away from God, the One who holds my hope.

But I can’t quit God. His Spirit is intertwined with mine in a love knot too tight to undo.

Shame sneers. You’ll never change. Everything good you do is poisoned by your pathetic yearning for approval. Quit loving. Quit serving. Quit writing. Quit trying.

But I can’t quit people.

I live in a cluttered home with a husband and three sons. God’s gifts to me.

I teach junior high students with special needs, alongside dozens of colleagues. God’s gifts to me.

I do life with a few hundred beautiful, imperfect Believers at a church down the road. God’s gifts to me.

I connect with hundreds of truth seekers through my blog, social media, and writer’s conferences. God’s gifts to me.

So the battle continues.

Each time my craving for human approval gets into begging mode below my table filled with God’s gifts, I ask God to satisfy my soul with good things—God things (Psalm 103:5). I fight the urge to hide my struggle from God, as if I could if I tried. Only when I lay myself bare can he clothe me with righteousness (Isaiah 61:10). I enlist help from people who love me enough to call me out on my crud, for “wounds from a friend can be trusted” (Proverbs 27:6 NIV).

Lord, I’m no quitter. I refuse to let shame steal my hope or the flesh and bone gifts You keep handing to my heart. Purify my heart, my mind, and my motives. Empower me to starve my craving for the approval of people and to feed and water my craving for more and more of Your presence and power in my life. All for Your glory and my good, I pray, AMEN.

A Southern magnolia transplanted in the Arizona desert, Lee Merrill (LeeBird) likes to call herself a full-time encourager. Whether she’s teaching junior high kids with special needs at her day job or penning prayer gifts on her blog at night, Lee is all about motivating herself and others to fly!

Her biggest fans are her husband, Cliff, and their three sons, Garrett, Logan, and Jacob. They share a cluttered but happy home with two Shihtzus and a bearded dragon named Charlie.

Get to know Lee by subscribing to her blog, friending her on Facebook, liking her Facebook ministry page, or following her on Twitter.

Let’s fly!

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Red Like Blood} Freedom Through Grace

Today, I have the honor to be guest blogging for RedLikeBlood.comJoin me there to read about the moment I was given the grace needed to forgive Anthony in my latest post entitled, Freedom Through Grace.

If you’re visiting from RedLikeBlood.com, welcome! I hope you’ll take a moment, read, and stay a while…

Red Like Blood is a book written by Joe Coffey and Bob Bevington, two men who have both experienced the amazing power of God’s grace in their lives, as I have.

I, for one, will be reading their book. Here’s a little synopsis:

…the grace of God is much more than sweet. It is also explosive, pervasive, powerful, relentless, amazing, devastating, raw, and beautiful.

Grace is deadly serious stuff. Many of our encounters with grace—the real, true grace by which God changes us one step at a time—are much more like confrontations.

These confrontations are jarring. They shake us up. Cracks appear in our carfeully constructed facades. That’s when grace can penetrate, Red Like Blood, flowing into those cracks, working its way deep down inside, and doing a work we could never imagine or accomplish on our own.

I encourage each of you to visit RedLikeBlood.com to learn more about the book and these two amazing men of God. I am sure you will be blessed by doing so.

Blessings…

Be sure to subscribe (along the right column) to receive future posts directly into your email inbox!

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

Only a Breath

I met a beautiful, godly woman while in North Carolina this summer at the She Speaks Conference named Melanie. She describes herself to be a southern girl, and she’s a sweet one at that. I feel so blessed that our paths crossed.

Melanie ministers to women on her blog, Only a Breath, and she has graciously offered to have me guest blog for her today. Join me there today, if you’d like.

And if you’re visiting from Only a Breath, welcome! Take a moment, read, and stay a while…

Blessings!

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

Live It Out

There’s an amazing woman I’ve recently had the pleasure to meet named Sarah Martin. She ministers to twenty-something Christian women through her blog Live It Out and her book Stress Point, and she has so graciously offered to allow me to share a bit of my heart on her blog. Be sure to check it out!

And if you’re visiting from Live It Out, welcome!! I hope you’ll take a moment and stay a while.

Thank you, Sarah, for your heart, your ministry, and for being the blessing that you are.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

Simply Me

Today, I am blessed to be sharing a bit of my story on the blog Simply Me.

Be sure to stop by Simply Me and see my new friend, Veronica, as she explores being content in who God made us to be. Many gems can be found in Veronica’s posts!

If you’re visiting my site from Simply Me. I’m glad you’re here! And I hope you’ll enjoy, explore, and stay a while…

Blessings to you all!

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

Transformed

Hop on over to Transformed, my friend Heather’s blog, to see my first guest blog post (click here)!

Heather is an amazing woman of God who ministers to women and youth and helps them to draw closer to God through the study of God’s Word, prayer, worship, and fellowship.

Learn more about Heather and why she blogs here, and if you like what you see, don’t forget to sign up for the email subscription to her blog!

She’s a great woman to follow!

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.