Love Comes First

Posted on May 2, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

I received a letter from Anthony (the man who murdered my dad) a couple weeks ago. In it, he said, “I also know you feel as I do, if only one person read [our testimony] and came to Jesus because of it, because of our pain, tears, repentance, and forgiveness, all of it was worth it.”

Anthony is right. And He got me thinking.

If our story saves one––only one––I do believe my efforts to share what God has done is all worth it. Yet, I also believe Jesus called me to share this story with many. In fact, I believe I’m called to write a book about it.

What It Takes to Publish Today

When writing a book, you hear a lot about the need to build a “platform” or establish a “tribe” of followers who engage with you both on your blog and on social media (Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest…) who will then become your audience for your proposed book. Even though all this “platform building” feel like self-promotion––which makes me ridiculously uncomfortable––I’ve been doing it, nonetheless, attempting to promote Jesus instead of myself.

Building a platform is a necessary step toward publishing.

But it can so quickly become about the numbers. How many people are reached with each post? How many visitors to my blog each day, week, month? How many Twitter followers? How many Facebook likes? And the list goes on.

But what gets lost amid the numbers is love. Each of those numbers represents a soul. A soul Jesus loves and wants to help. We are all called to love one another. We’re all called to minister to one another. It may look different for some people than for others, but the call is all the same. Love.

My Followers?

And here’s the thing: My “followers” are not my followers, they’re Jesus’ followers. [Tweet that] A sweet friend pointed that out to me the other night, and I appreciated the perspective.

This issue is not a new one, either. It was found long before the emergence of social media and platform building. The Corinthian church faced the same problem. In 1 Corinthians 1:12-14 and 1:17 Paul says,

What I mean is that each one of you says, ‘I follow Paul,’ or ‘I follow Apollos,’ or ‘I follow Cephas,’ or ‘I follow Christ.’Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul? …For Christ did not send me to baptize but to preach the gospel, and not with words of eloquent wisdom, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power.

It is Jesus who needs to be center. We don’t need Laurie followers, we need Jesus followers!

All You Need is Love (Love Before Mission)

My calling––and your calling too––needs to come from a place of love, for without love there is no real impact. [Tweet that] Sure, some may be intrigued by our stories, but the impact will be little without love.

And I confess that I have lost the love I had at first. But I’m praying for grace. I need a complete paradigm shift to take place through the mercy and grace of God.

It’s not about numbers. It’s not about me. It’s not even about my story.

It’s about Jesus.

It’s about loving God and loving people. Sound familiar? It’s the Great Commandment Jesus spoke of in both Matthew and Mark.

The Great Commandment comes before anything else. Yet, it is followed by the Great Commission.

The Great Commission is our mission in this world. Jesus tells us, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:19-20).

We do have a mission––to share the message of the Gospel with the world. But the mission doesn’t come before the commandment to love. [Tweet that]

The cart doesn’t come before the horse!

Love is first. Always. [Tweet that]

Yet, we have a job to do. And for some of us that job may require the use of social media, but it is all to be motivated by love. Just as the title of Bob Goff’s book says, “Love Does.” (This is a great book, by the way, one of my favorites!)

I’ve somehow gotten things a little backwards lately. And for that I am sorry, I repent, and I pray that all I do is derived out of my love for Jesus and for His people. If you could join me in this prayer, I’d greatly appreciate it. The prayer of many is powerful, and I want to get this one right.

Back to what Anthony said. If I can impact only one through my love, it will all be worth it.

{Love comes first.}

Question: Have you experienced this? Any words of wisdom you would like to share? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Lessons Learned} Wait for the Lord

Posted on February 18, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. – Isaiah 55:9

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One thing’s for certain: we need to wait for the Lord. As mentioned in my last post, I was terrified to take even one step unless I was certain of God’s direction during my journey toward forgiveness. I knew––with complete certainty––that I would mess it all up, apart from Jesus’ counsel.

Here’s what the Bible has to say about waiting for God:

Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! – Psalm 27:14

Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. – Psalm 33:20

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him… – Psalm 37:7a

Wait for the Lord and keep his way, and he will exalt you to inherit the land; you will look on when the wicked are cut off. – Psalm 37:34

I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. – Psalm 40:1

Do not say, “I will repay evil”; wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you. – Proverbs 20:22

Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him. – Isaiah 30:18

…but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. – Isaiah 40:31

The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. – Lamentations 3:25

…keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. – Jude 1:21

And this is just a sampling.

If God went to all the trouble of stating something over and over and over again, it must be something to take notice of.

Wait for the Lord.

So, what does this look like, practically?

Waiting for the Lord means we say no to impulse.

Waiting for the Lord means we take the time to pray––to seek God––and then wait for His response.

Waiting for the Lord means we set aside our own agenda to submit to God’s.

Waiting for the Lord means we humble ourselves, knowing full well that we do not have the answers.

Waiting for the Lord means we understand our proper place. That we are mere humans, with finite minds.

But ultimately, waiting for the Lord means we wait.

And waiting is hard. It requires patience.

No one likes to wait. Plain and simple. But as we can see from the scriptures quoted above, there are benefits to doing things Gods way. Those who wait for the Lord will be blessed.

We need to be praying and seeking God’s will in all things. We need to be eager to follow when He calls, joyfully aware that He’s leading us toward our promise land. Yet, fully cognizant of the fact that there will be trials along the way, but that these trials will be used for our good to the glory of God.

So, here’s to living life in a new way, waiting for the Lord to show us the path He has hewn out for us, leading us toward the promise land.

{Wait for the Lord, and you will see a bounty of blessings.}

Has there been a time in your life when you had to wait for the Lord?

Leave a comment.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Lessons Learned} Rely Upon Jesus

Posted on February 14, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of themand said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven….” – Matthew 18:2-3

Lord, I can’t do this without you, I prayed. Help me. Give me wisdom. Show me the way, and I will follow.

I can’t tell you how often I uttered these words throughout my correspondence with Anthony, the man who murdered my dad. I was under no illusion I could take even one step without clear direction from Jesus during this difficult journey. I was terrified to be outside of His will, for I knew things could go very wrong in a situation like this apart from God.

Each time I received a letter, my emotions ran high. I wanted to react quickly, with little grace. I wanted to rebuke Anthony. Set him straight. I wanted him to see as I saw. (It turns out, however, I wasn’t always right. We both had a lot to learn.) But I had a strong conviction that I wasn’t to trust my thoughts and I wasn’t to respond to my emotions, but instead, I was to wait.

I needed to respond not react to Anthony’s letters, but I needed to wait for my emotions to settle before I was able to do so. As I waited, I put Anthony’s latest letter on my nightstand as a reminder to pray, to seek the Lord in how He wanted me to respond. I needed clarity. And clarity only came with time.

Here’s the truth: If we are to remain in the will of God, we must be in complete reliance upon Jesus. [Tweet that]

When presented with a trial, it seems easier to depend on God. The difficulty comes when applying this truth to everyday life. When life settles down, we seem to think we’ve got it covered, when in all actuality, we don’t. We deceive ourselves when we think we don’t need Jesus’ direction with every detail of our lives. [Tweet that]

How would our lives be different, what impact would our lives have, how much joy would we experience if we were to simply seek the will of God (and not move until we hear Him speak) in all we do and all we say? This, I believe, is paramount to living life victoriously. Jesus has a call on each of our lives. He wants to use us. But we must rely on Him and surrender completely to His will in order to get there.

Just imagine what He could do with our lives if we die to ourselves and live for Him!

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. – Psalm 16:11

{If we are to remain in the will of God, we must be in complete reliance upon Jesus.}

Do you live in complete reliance upon Jesus? If so, what impact has this had on your life? If not, how might your life change if you began to do so?

Join the discussion! Leave a comment.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Lessons Learned} Get Over That Hurdle

Posted on February 4, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

But I will stay in Ephesus until Pentecost, for a wide door for effective work has opened to me, and there are many adversaries. – 1 Corinthians 16:8-9

The door shut. I was presented with a significant hurdle.

Lord, I thought You wanted me to bring Anthony a Bible, I prayed. How can I bring him a Bible if I can’t visit him?

I held the letter from the warden I received that afternoon. He denied my application to visit Anthony, the man who murdered my dad. Still, I knew what I knew.

I knew Jesus called me to forgive Anthony.

I knew Jesus called me to love Anthony, my enemy.

I knew Jesus called me to have contact with Anthony.

Of these things, I was sure.

What I didn’t know was how it would play out, now that I couldn’t go see him.

Every journey Jesus calls us on is coupled with resistance and difficulty. Roadblocks and hurdles are sure to come. At first glance, it seems these obstructions indicate we’re on the wrong path. But, rest assured. Just because something is hard doesn’t mean it’s not God’s will.

In fact, the greatest endeavors we’re called to will most likely be the most difficult things we do. [Tweet that]

What I didn’t know when I received the denial letter from the warden is that the path Jesus forged for me to take would look far different than the one I imagined it to be. But it was this path that led both Anthony and I to a place of deep healing and forgiveness which was not possible any other way, and I am unbelievable thankful Jesus allowed that hurdle to be placed in my way.

Oftentimes, God places circumstances to steer us onto the path He has for us. But don’t allow these difficulties to derail you. With prayerful consideration, you must choose to press forth and get over that hurdle.

Blessings await you on the other side.

{Just because something is hard doesn’t mean it’s not God’s will.}

What hurdles have you had to overcome along the way?

Join the discussion! Leave a comment.

To read more about the warden’s denial read When Doors Shut.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Lessons Learned} When It Just Doesn’t Make Sense

Posted on January 28, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. – Isaiah 55:9

“It just doesn’t make sense,” I said. “I know what God’s calling me to do. I know I need to bring Anthony a bible. But he probably already has one; He claimed to be a Christian at the time of the murder. What good will this do?”

I began to pray for clarity; I prayed for grace to follow despite the fact that none of what I was being called to made sense. Ultimately, it was given.

I sent an email to a friend at the time and wrote:

Frankly, I have no idea to what purpose God would send me there to see [Anthony]…All that I know is that God seems to be leading me in this way, and I feel like I need to follow Him. Crazy? Yes! But sometimes God calls us to do certain things that don’t seem to add up at the time.

Though I had a lot of support from those around me, many didn’t understand what I was doing. Many advised me against it. Still, I knew Jesus was calling me down this path, and I was determined to follow.

Much of what “the world” tells us is turned on its head when Jesus gets involved. [Tweet that.]

Oftentimes, what He calls us to doesn’t make sense.

I sought peace. Jesus called me to interact with the man who murdered my dad.

I sought healing. Jesus called me to go to the darkest recesses of my soul and relive the most difficult time in my life.

It all seems so counterintuitive. But as Isaiah 55:9 states, God’s ways are not our ways. So, when you hear Jesus call, don’t rely upon your own logic. But instead, once assured it’s Jesus leading, simply follow.

{Sometimes the things God calls us to won’t make sense, but we must still follow.}

What has Jesus called you to do that didn’t make sense at first?

Join the discussion! Leave a comment.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Discerning God’s Will} When Doors Shut.

Posted on October 12, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

I was reluctant to correspond with Anthony prior to my planned visit, but I found it was necessary in order to work out the details of the visit. We exchanged several letters as we awaited approval from the prison, each letter unearthing feelings I unknowingly buried years before.

One day, I received a letter from the warden of the prison. As I opened it, I was sure it would be the approval I had been waiting for. Much to my surprise, however, I read the following:

Dear Ms. Coombs:

Your visiting application was forwarded to this office for consideration. Due to safety and security conserns for the institution because you are the victim’s daughter, we are not approving visiting privileges for you.

Sincerely,

{Name Omitted}, Warden

I was confused. My application for visitation was denied. Did I hear God wrong? God called me to bring Anthony a bible. I was certain of this. But how would I be able to give him a bible without seeing him?

The following morning, I contacted the warden’s office and explained my motive behind the visit. ”I assure you,” I said, “I have no desire to go there in a spirit of vengeance or anger. I simply want to bring him a bible and tell him that I forgive him.”

I was met with a stark, “No.” It was apparent that the warden had no desire to even entertain the idea of approving my visit. Still, I knew what I knew. I knew it was God’s will for me to have contact, so I continued to seek avenues that could potentially overturn the warden’s decision.

Through all of this, Anthony and I were writing and were discussing possible avenues to explore. I spoke with patience and kindness to many within the prison system, explaining the situation, telling them that my only desire was to find closure and peace through forgiveness. I spoke with the warden’s supervisor, and then his supervisor’s supervisor. Still, nothing. Every alley I went down was a dead end. Every door that potentially provided hope was immediately shut. I took it to the top, as far as I could, but the decision remained. I would not be allowed in the prison.

At first, I couldn’t understand it, but as I grappled with what this meant, I finally came to understand that this thing was not going to go the way I thought it would. It wouldn’t be my plans that succeeded. It would be God’s. For whatever reason, I was assured of God’s will. I knew I was on the right path––despite the seemingly insurmountable roadblock––so I pressed on, knowing that God’s will would become clear along the way.

Jesus will call us to do many things in this life, none of which will be easy. Looking back, I now see and understand why God shut that door, for if I would have visited Anthony at that point in the journey. I would have never seen the healing and redemption that took place. It all would have been over before it even began. Jesus didn’t want me to have one, short conversation. He wanted me to have many, and this was only possible through the written correspondence that has taken place over the last two and a half years.

As you travel down your own path along side our King, know this: roadblocks do not always indicate that we are on the wrong path. Perhaps, Jesus wants more for you than you can even imagine.

{Roadblocks do not necessarily mean we’re on the wrong path.}

What roadblocks have you encountered along your journey?

Leave a comment!

If you’re interested in reading some of my earlier posts related to my journey toward forgiving and loving my enemy, click on the links below.

Bounty Through Obedience

{Forgiveness} But I’ve Already Done That

{Forgiveness} Why We Forgive – Part 1

{Forgiveness} Why We Forgive – Part 2

{Love Your Enemy} The Letter

{Love Your Enemy} Pray Like the Dickens!

{Love Your Enemy} When the Path is Unclear

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

Just a Bunch of Dumb Sheep

Posted on October 5, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

“Really, we’re all just a bunch of dumb sheep,” I told my sister on the phone yesterday. “We’d like to think that we’re smart, that we can figure it all out on our own, but it’s simply not true. Dumb sheep must stay close to their Shepherd!”

It doesn’t take long when observing sheep to realize they’re not the brightest of creatures. Because of this, they are vulnerable and need a shepherd to guide and protect them. In the bible, we are likened to sheep, and we are told that Jesus is our Shepherd (John 10). Referring to a shepherd, Jesus says,

The sheep hear [the shepherd's] voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice….

I am the good Shepherd. The good Shepherd lays down His life for the sheep. - John 10:3b-4, 11

As this passage says, a shepherd knows his sheep and calls them by name. What a comforting truth it is that Jesus knows us by name. Individually, intimately––He knows each and every one of His fold. A shepherd goes before his sheep, leading them along the best path. A shepherd, protects his sheep, keeping them from harm and from the ravenous wolves of the world. Jesus is our good Shepherd, as John 10:11 says, protecting us unto death.

When called to have contact with Anthony, I knew that I could not even pretend to embark on this journey without the close guidance of Jesus. We must stay close to our Shepherd. Close enough that we are immediately and keenly aware when we are even one step out of line with His will for us.

We are dumb sheep. We cannot rely upon ourself to know what’s best. In our human frailty, we are sure to make mistakes, we are sure to be deceived by our own flawed feelings, by the deceptions of Satan, and by the enticing lurings of the world. If we do not remain under the staff and rod of our Shepherd’s leading, we are sure to fall.

Our flesh, Satan, and the world are master deceivers, so how are we to ensure that we remain living under the sound teachings of God, believing truth, and don’t fall victim to deception? It is only through staying under the close guidance of Jesus.

Take everything to God in prayer and don’t move until you are certain of God’s will. Jesus prepares our way, but we need discernment––given through prayer, God’s word, Godly council of other biblically sound Christians––to remain on the path He has prepared.

Additionally, don’t rely on your feelings as your guide, as many erroneously do. The bible tells us that, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick” (Jeremiah 17:9).

But ultimately, again, stay close to the heart of Jesus. Incline your heart toward His, and you will remain in His protective arms.

Jesus tells us that, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10). Let us follow Him, our good Shepherd, toward the life that He died for us to have––a life centered upon Him where joy and His grace flow.

{Dumb sheep must stay close to their Shepherd!}

Have you ever thought you were at the center of God’s will only to realize that you had been deceived?

{Love Your Enemy} When the Path is Unclear

Posted on September 21, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

I was freaking out. There’s simply no other way to describe it. I just received that first letter from Anthony, but I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if I should respond. I didn’t know how to respond. Again, I knew God was leading me down this path, but I didn’t know what to do next.

I needed to know His will. I needed to know what He wanted me to do. I prayed. I spoke to my husband. I called one of my best friends, all of which helped, yet still, no clarity.

Then, I called one of my pastors. ”Bobby, I just got a letter from the man who murdered my dad. I don’t know what to do,” I said. I gave him some background as he listened on the other end. “I just want to do what God wants me to do, but I don’t know what that is,” I continued rambling, “I know Jesus is calling me to forgive and to love my enemy, but how do I do this? What does loving my enemy look like?”

“Laurie,” Pastor Bobby said, “loving your enemy looks like what you’re already doing. Now, simply walk in it. Keep doing what you’re doing.”

To be honest, that’s not what I wanted to hear. I wanted the ones, twos, and threes of loving your enemy. I wanted him to give me clarity on how this thing would play out and what I was supposed to do next.

But faith doesn’t work that way. At this point, I knew God promised me one thing––that following Him would lead to healing and forgiveness. Apart from that, I knew nothing. And this made me very uncomfortable. I’m the type of girl who likes predictability. I like to know where my life is headed. Yet, I was now being stretched in ways I did not want.

Rarely we are we given insight into where Jesus is taking us. As Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Faith is trusting Jesus to show you the way. Faith is taking that step of obedience toward what Jesus is calling you to, despite the many unknowns. Honestly, Faith is messy. It takes us to places that are unpredictable, painful, and downright scary. But oh how all this discomfort is worth it. For, we come out on the other side of these trials with a stronger, more resilient faith. Each time we choose to step out in faith, our faith grows.

I don’t know about you, but I want faith. Not just any faith. What I want is great faith. The kind of faith that allows you to step out of the boat and walk on water toward Jesus when He beacons, knowing that you can do all things through Him. The kind of faith that confidently says to Jesus, “only say a word, and I shall be healed,” knowing full well that all things are possible with God. The kind of faith to follow Jesus into the unknown––into my scary places––regardless of the cost, knowing that He would work all things for good.

I thank God for giving Pastor Bobby the wisdom to not answer my questions. Pastor Bobby saw my deeper need. He knew that I needed Jesus to be my director, not man, so instead of trying to solve my problems, he pointed me to the only One who could bring me the guidance and counsel I desperately needed.

Then, the Holy Spirit, in turn, pointed me to Psalm 23. I picked up my bible and read:

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
² He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
³ He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.

⁴Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

⁵You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
⁶Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.

“Amen,” I wrote at the bottom. These words captivated my attention and gave me the ability to follow, knowing with confident assurance that Jesus was with me, that He was holding me, that He was guiding me, and that He would show me the way.

Jesus is our good Shepherd, indeed.

{Walk by faith as Jesus shows you how to love your enemy.}