{Lessons Learned} Healing Comes With Greater Understanding

Posted on March 23, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

In this brief video, I speak about how Jesus led me toward emotional healing from my past. Healing only came once I surrendered myself completely to Jesus and allowed Him complete access to my pain. Be sure to watch to hear about how Jesus brought me greater understanding which led to healing.

Healing Comes With Greater Understanding from Laurie Coombs on Vimeo.

{Greater understanding of the situations in our past can lead us toward healing.}

Question: Has Jesus healed you emotionally from your past? What was your experience? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Lessons Learned} Do Not Fear – How to Change the World

Posted on February 5, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

But overhearing what they said, Jesus said to the ruler of the synagogue, “Do not fear, only believe.” – Mark 5:36

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“Mommy, I did it!” Ella said as she walked in the door. “I went down a really steep hill on Slide Side.” Travis took the girls skiing last weekend while I laid, sick on the couch.

“What?!?” I said, eyes wide and smile broad. “Great job, Honey! Were you scared?” I asked.

Ella thought for a moment. “A little.”

“Do you know what being brave is?” I asked.

“What?”

“Being brave doesn’t mean you don’t feel scared. Being brave means you do it even when you are scared.”

Now, I’m not advocating reckless actions. But fear cannot motivate our action. [Tweet that]

When I began to correspond with Anthony, I was terrified, but what if I gave into my fears (which I have done plenty of other times)? What if I remained paralyzed by thoughts of all that could go wrong, how I could get hurt, how difficult this trial would be?

Living by fear is no way to live. Trust me. I did it far too long. But at some point, we need to live by faith and trust that God is for us, that He loves us, that He wants what’s best for us, that He will never leave us nor forsake us, and that anything He allows to happen will ultimately be used for our good and God’s glory.

Living within this paradigm allow us to live boldly by faith. Remember, courage is not the absence of fear, but instead, courage is living boldly despite our fears.

I want to be a world-changer. I want my life to be the difference for many as I point them to Jesus. And I pray you join me. But the only way you or I will get there is by living boldly through Christ, not allowing fear to hold us back.

Here’s to making an impact in this life for the glory of God!

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. – 1 John 4:18

{Do not fear. Only believe.}

What are you afraid of? What might God do if you moved past your fear to follow Him into your unknown, scary places?

Join the discussion! Leave a comment.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Lessons Learned} When Jesus Calls, Follow

Posted on January 24, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

We’re called to follow Jesus daily through every little intricacy life has to offer.

But there are times Jesus calls us to follow Him to do something much bigger, something that will alter the course of our lives.

I have two such events in my life.

The first was the call to love and forgive Anthony, the man who murdered my dad.

The second was to write about this experience––both on this blog and to begin writing a book––to show others just what God can do when we choose to follow Him.

Now, you would think the difficulty came when called to interact with the man who murdered my dad. But when Jesus beckoned me to follow Him toward forgiveness––which I knew would require that I delve into the deepest, darkest parts of my soul––I was given grace to follow immediately, without reservation, without rebellion, without questioning Jesus or reasoning with Him. The outcome, as you may know, was mind-blowing. (If you have yet to read about what God did through this journey toward forgiveness, read here or here, along with many other posts on this blog.)

But when I was called to write––I hate to admit this––but I fought Jesus with all I had.

Now, oddly enough, it’s not that I did not want to write––I enjoy writing. It’s not that I did not want to share my testimony––I wanted to share, I wanted the whole world to know what God had done. It’s not that I did not want to bring glory to God, for that’s the sole driving force behind all that I do. In fact, I want my life to be a huge banner pointing to the glory of God as a follower of Christ.

I think, perhaps, it was fear that hindered me from following right away.

Honestly, when called to write, I knew God was placing His call on my life. It was what He wanted me to do. Forgiving Anthony felt more like a task (which is a bad way to look at it, I know). But the call to write required a lifelong commitment to my calling, which intimidated me.

When called to write, I thought I had submitted myself to Jesus, but soon, it became clear that I was still holding on to part of my life. I still wanted to control my future. I knew then, as I do now, that He would lead me to great things, things beyond my wildest imagination. But obeying still proved to be difficult.

Finally, after months of wrestling with God, I agreed, and I began to write. During my quiet time with Jesus, He pointed me to Matthew 21:28-31:

“What do you think? A man had two sons. And he went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work in the vineyard today.’ And he answered, ‘I will not,’ but afterward he changed his mind and went. And he went to the other son and said the same. And he answered, ‘I go, sir,’ but did not go. Which of the two did the will of his father?”They said, “The first”….

Jesus was telling me: Yes, you’ve fought me. Yes, you’ve been rebellious, but now… now, you are on the right path. You are doing your Father’s will.

It would have been so much easier to simply follow Jesus when He originally called. How we begin our race, however, isn’t nearly as important as how we finish. What, ultimately, matters is where we find ourselves on our last day.

We are to run this race well, as Paul says. We’re to fight the good fight of faith, but in order to do that, we must follow Jesus. He is our Good Shepherd who guides us along the difficult, narrow path leading us to the gates of eternity.

One thing is clear. We cannot accomplish this apart from Jesus.

So, when Jesus calls, follow. [Tweet that]

{When Jesus calls, follow.}

Share your testimony. How has following Jesus impacted your life?

Join the discussion! Leave a comment.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Lessons Learned} How to Let Go of Control

Posted on January 21, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

…all things were created through Him and for Him.And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.

- Colossians 1:16b-17

Ultimately, we’re not the ones in control. God is.

For most Christians, it’s easy to trust that God is in control of our lives when all is going well. The difficulty comes when the heat is turned up. When we’re struggling to see the outcome. When we’re scared things might not turn out the way we’d like.

It seems the moment we sense our jobs, our health, our finances, or any other area of our lives might be failing we grasp hold of any and all control we can, not realizing that this response is futile.

Control is an illusion. Sure, we have a responsibility to do what we can and to be good stewards of the gifts we’ve been given, but the outcome is, ultimately, not in our hands.

We need to stop trying to do what only God can do. [tweet that.]

So, when tempted to take the reigns, remember: we serve a mighty God––a God you can trust. A God who is sovereign over all. He is in control of all things. He knows your circumstance. He knows you and loves you. And He will work all things for your good, if you know and love Him.

This is something I still struggle with. But I know it’s true. I pray one day each of us will be in a place of complete trust. A place where our first response is to place our life and our circumstance in God’s hands without striving to do it on our own.

{God is in control. We can trust Him.}

In what area do you struggle with trust?

Join the discussion. Leave a comment.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

Will You Press Through to Get Into the Presence of God?

Posted on December 20, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

There is an account found in three out of the four gospels. It is the story of a woman who endured a discharge of blood for twelve years. One thing we must understand is that a condition such as this rendered the woman “unclean.” She would have been a lonely woman, devoid of touch or much companionship at all.

Come with me for a moment and imagine….

You are this woman.

You cannot touch others, and others cannot touch you. You’re outcasted. Desperate, you spend all your financial resources going to doctors. One after another. But they’re no help. Instead of seeing improvement, you only worsen.

Can you relate to this woman in any way?

Quite possibly, in some area of your life, you need help. You seek help––help that promises a solution to your problem––only to find yourself right where you began, or perhaps even behind a step or two.

Another solution is presented to you.

You find enough hope to take that step. You join another program or see another doctor which will hopefully lead you toward health, wholeness, satisfaction (whatever it is for you). But a few months later, you’re, once again, right where you began.

But then there’s news of this guy. He sounds pretty awesome. Perhaps He can help me, you think. There’s talk around your village that He’s passing through.

If only, you think.

If only you could see Him. Touch Him.

No. Your hope is greater than that.

This guy, some say, is the One. If only you could touch the edge of His garment. Then. Perhaps then, you would be healed. You would be free of this burden weighing heavy upon your shoulders.

You go out and see Him pass by.

Hope fills your heart like never before, and you know. All you need is Him.

But there’s a crowd. A large one, pressing in all around. How will you ever manage to get through?

You’ll have to press in all the more.

But along the way, you touch others––making them unclean––as you strive to reach your goal. And then, you’re there.

You see Him.

Reach out.

And touch the edge, just the edge, of His garment.

In an instant, you know. You’ve been healed. You feel it, and you’re filled with joy and relief.

But then, the Man turns around. “Who was it that touched me?” the man asks.

“It wasn’t me,” you join the crowd in saying.

“Master, the crowds surround you and are pressing in on you.” A men explains.

“Someone touched me, for I perceive that power has gone out from me.”

Knowing you won’t be hidden for long, you come forward. Trembling and falling down before Him, you explain your condition and tell of your healing. You’re afraid, for you have just done what ought not to be done. You touched others. But ultimately, you touched Him.

You look up, anticipating rebuke, but are met with compassion instead. ”Your faith has made you well; go in peace,” He says.

…

Oftentimes, we fail to see Jesus as the answer. But ultimately, it’s not what He can do for us that we need most. We seek Him for our needs, and He invites us to do so, but ultimately we are most in need of His presence. We need Him. It was His presence that made this woman well.

Coming to Jesus doesn’t mean He will heal all our diseases. It doesn’t mean our lives will become easy. Sometimes, by His providence, He allows certain conditions to remain. But coming to Jesus––into His presence––daily does mean we will be right where we ought to be. And from this place, all other things fall into place.

When coming to Jesus, you must be aware, however, that there will be hinderances, but my question to you today is this: Will you press through to get into the presence of God?

If you do, you will find yourself right where you ought to be.

{Press through. Jesus is your only hope. Your only salvation.}

What’s hindering you from coming into the presence of God today? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Triple Braided} Resting in His Faithful Arms

Posted on November 1, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

I’m over at Triple Braided today writing for Brenda Rogers, author of e-book Fall for Him. Join me there to read my latest post, Resting in His Faithful Arms, in which I write about how we may simply rest in our Father’s loving arms as we follow Him.

If your visiting from Triple Braided, welcome! Be sure to take a moment, look around, and read.

And don’t forget to subscribe (in the right hand column) to receive future posts via email or in your reader of choice!

Blessings to you all today…

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Fear} Blessed is the Man Whose Trusts is the Lord

Posted on October 30, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths. – Psalm 3:5-6

I trust Jesus. Most of the time.

But if I’m going to be honest, there are times when I’m doing everything else but trusting Jesus. Every once in a while I lay awake at night for hours, wondering why I can’t go back to sleep, when a thought hits me. Maybe Jesus woke me. Maybe He has something to say.

When this happens, there are the times I simply pray and willingly say, “Speak, my Lord, I’m listening.” Yet, other times, I’m stuck with fear. What if Jesus is going to ask me to do something I don’t want to do? I anxiously ponder. I know I will do whatever He asks of me, yet at times, I fear what that might be.

I know Jesus is worthy of my trust. I know that His plan is always the best plan. I know He is for me, not against me. So, I pray, and I invite you to do the same, Lord, give me grace to trust you completely with all things. I give you my life to do with as you please….

Let us more and more hear ourselves willingly say, “Speak, my Lord, for your servant is listening!”

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
whose trust is the Lord.
He is like a tree planted by water,
that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
for it does not cease to bear fruit.”

- Jeremiah 17:7-8

{Blessed is the man whose trust is the Lord.}

Can you identify? What struggles do you have in trusting Jesus?

Fear vs Faith

Posted on September 25, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

…for we walk by faith, not by sight. – 2 Corinthians 5:7

I knew that I could trust Jesus, but when called to love and forgive my enemy, I was scared. I didn’t know where this was going. I didn’t know how it would end. Yet, I knew that I had already allowed fear to motivate me far too long.

When the anxiety first came, it hit hard. The once fearless, self-sufficient, social woman I knew crumbled and left in it’s place a scared little girl who had little energy to get out of bed each morning. Panic attacks would come out of no where, with no warning. It was all so irrational. The worst part was that I knew it was irrational, but I didn’t know how to conquer it. Fear had taken over and was my main motivator.

But when I was saved, God gave me the grace to overcome my fears. Just as the song Amazing Grace states, “T’was grace that taught my heart to fear. And grace, my fears relieved.” Truly, it was only by the grace of God that my fears ceased, and that I was able to regain a sound mind once again.

Fear is a God given emotion, and its purpose is to protect us from harm. This fear is good. But much of the fear we frequently experience is irrational fear––the fear that holds us back from living the full life that Jesus died for us to have. This fear never allows us to see true growth of character. This fear never brings good. And in these cases, when we choose to live in fear, we will never see the promises of God to the extent that He would like us to.

I heard it once said that we can choose to live each day motivated by fear or by faith. Christian reformer, Martin Luther, was quoted as saying “Faith is a living, daring confidence in God’s grace, so sure and certain that a man could stake his life on it a thousand times.” This is the faith we all need.

In my prayer journal at the time, I wrote, “I am seeing more and more that the Christian life is NOT a life of passivity, but a life of choices empowered by the Holy Spirit. I pray Lord God for You to help me to walk in Your Spirit….” It was then that I chose to live by faith.

But I must make this decision each and every day. As a reminder, I have the following written on a post-it in my bathroom. “Each day, I can choose to live out of fear or out of FAITH. What do I choose? To live out of and by faith!” Below this, there’s another reminder. It says, “Jesus died for me, loves me, and will work all things for good in my life! TRUST HIM!” It is this truth that allows us to conquer fear in our lives and empowers us to live by faith.

So, I encourage you today to came to Jesus and allow Him to show you His heart toward you. See and know in your heart that He loves you, that He is for you, and that He is your comforter and your guide, and you will be empowered to live your life differently (though not perfectly), for you will be walking by faith.

{Faith drives our fear!}

Have you ever been paralyzed by fear? I certainly have! Share with us…

{Love Your Enemy} When the Path is Unclear

Posted on September 21, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

I was freaking out. There’s simply no other way to describe it. I just received that first letter from Anthony, but I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if I should respond. I didn’t know how to respond. Again, I knew God was leading me down this path, but I didn’t know what to do next.

I needed to know His will. I needed to know what He wanted me to do. I prayed. I spoke to my husband. I called one of my best friends, all of which helped, yet still, no clarity.

Then, I called one of my pastors. ”Bobby, I just got a letter from the man who murdered my dad. I don’t know what to do,” I said. I gave him some background as he listened on the other end. “I just want to do what God wants me to do, but I don’t know what that is,” I continued rambling, “I know Jesus is calling me to forgive and to love my enemy, but how do I do this? What does loving my enemy look like?”

“Laurie,” Pastor Bobby said, “loving your enemy looks like what you’re already doing. Now, simply walk in it. Keep doing what you’re doing.”

To be honest, that’s not what I wanted to hear. I wanted the ones, twos, and threes of loving your enemy. I wanted him to give me clarity on how this thing would play out and what I was supposed to do next.

But faith doesn’t work that way. At this point, I knew God promised me one thing––that following Him would lead to healing and forgiveness. Apart from that, I knew nothing. And this made me very uncomfortable. I’m the type of girl who likes predictability. I like to know where my life is headed. Yet, I was now being stretched in ways I did not want.

Rarely we are we given insight into where Jesus is taking us. As Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Faith is trusting Jesus to show you the way. Faith is taking that step of obedience toward what Jesus is calling you to, despite the many unknowns. Honestly, Faith is messy. It takes us to places that are unpredictable, painful, and downright scary. But oh how all this discomfort is worth it. For, we come out on the other side of these trials with a stronger, more resilient faith. Each time we choose to step out in faith, our faith grows.

I don’t know about you, but I want faith. Not just any faith. What I want is great faith. The kind of faith that allows you to step out of the boat and walk on water toward Jesus when He beacons, knowing that you can do all things through Him. The kind of faith that confidently says to Jesus, “only say a word, and I shall be healed,” knowing full well that all things are possible with God. The kind of faith to follow Jesus into the unknown––into my scary places––regardless of the cost, knowing that He would work all things for good.

I thank God for giving Pastor Bobby the wisdom to not answer my questions. Pastor Bobby saw my deeper need. He knew that I needed Jesus to be my director, not man, so instead of trying to solve my problems, he pointed me to the only One who could bring me the guidance and counsel I desperately needed.

Then, the Holy Spirit, in turn, pointed me to Psalm 23. I picked up my bible and read:

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
² He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
³ He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.

⁴Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

⁵You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
⁶Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.

“Amen,” I wrote at the bottom. These words captivated my attention and gave me the ability to follow, knowing with confident assurance that Jesus was with me, that He was holding me, that He was guiding me, and that He would show me the way.

Jesus is our good Shepherd, indeed.

{Walk by faith as Jesus shows you how to love your enemy.}

Have you ever felt like you were in the dark and didn’t know how to proceed?

Torn Down and Saved

Posted on August 14, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

Nine years after my dad’s death, Jesus brought me to my knees. You would think that the murder itself would have gotten me there, but no. I’m pretty stubborn. Yet, God’s mercy and grace is certainly bigger than me and my resistance.

During this time, Travis and I got married, and we had two beautiful, healthy little girls. I was truly blessed. Aside from the murder, I was living the life that I had always dreamed of. Travis and I were happy together, and we loved our girls. Yet, I was still without God.

Though I was never at the point that I was able to say with absolute certainty that God is not real, I highly doubted his existence. And so, I was the highest authority in my own life. I was the one in control. I was the one who defined what was right or wrong in the world, based upon my own “sovereign” moral compass. I was, in essence, my own god. The truth of God’s existence, in my mind, was ultimately unattainable. One could not possibly know of God’s existence nor could one accurately assess the divinity of this “Jesus” figure. There is no proof, I thought. Nothing to back it up. And I sure wasn’t going to be one of those “blind faith” suckers.

Enter God into the scene.

Little more than a year after having our second daughter, I began noticing problems with my health. I was nauseous, and I just didn’t feel quite right.

“I think I’m pregnant,” I told Travis.

“Really?”

“Yea, but the tests keep coming back negative. Do you think I should get a blood test?”

“I’m sure you’re not pregnant if the tests keep coming back negative, Laurie.”

“Well, but Kim had lot’s of negative tests when she was pregnant,” I said. The next week, I went to my doctor. I wasn’t pregnant. So, I went to see a GI doctor, who told me that the nausea was probably due to stress. He gave me medication, and I left.

Soon the nausea went away, but then came the headaches. Every day. Maybe something’s really wrong with me, I thought. And that was it. The thought was planted, and no matter how many times I tried to persuade myself that I was just fine, I couldn’t believe it.

Symptom after symptom began showing up. What’s going on with me! Little did I know at the time, I was experiencing anxiety, both mentally and physically, as a result of the stress I went through in my past. I had never experienced anxiety before, and it was scary. Negative thoughts infiltrated my mind. Honestly, I thought I was going crazy.

Soon, I became depressed, as hope escaped me. And I hated myself because of the depression. How can I not be satisfied with all that I have, when I have everything I’ve ever wanted. I am a horrible person, I thought.

I had always been able to work through all the other difficulties in my life, including my dad’s murder. But for the first time, I couldn’t get myself out of it. I tried everything that the world tells you to do in situations like this. I tried counseling. I tried exercising more and eating better. I tried meditation. I was even considering going to a Buddhist retreat, if you can imagine that! Nothing was helping. So as a last resort, I tried an anti-depressant medication, but it only worsened my depression. And I was taken off of it immediately.

I journaled, continually, trying to make sense of something. Anything. I wrote things like, “maybe I’m addicted to researching problems/being unhappy,” and “my main issue is control––control over my life in all aspects. I need to learn how to let go of control….” In one entry, I wrote,

I haven’t been happy. I’ve been scared. I don’t know what’s going on with me. I’m afraid I’m losing control over myself and my thoughts. Why? I’m afraid something physically is wrong with me. Part of me wants this to be the case because it would explain it all, but then that would mean I’m not physically healthy. What if that means I’ll die young. I’ll leave my family and everyone I love! Rationally, I know this is a leap, but I go there. Then I’ve randomly thought that it would be easier to die. Though, as soon as this thought enters my mind I immediately think of how ludicrous the thought is. I don’t want to die––it’s my greatest fear!

I was a wreck.

One night, I told Travis, “I’ve spent my entire life trying to achieve and set goals for myself, and I’ve hinged my happiness on the achievement of those goals only to continuously fall short of true happiness. It’s like there’s this this emptiness inside, but I don’t know how to make it go away!” I felt empty, defeated, depressed, and anxious. And I had no answers. It was a very dark and lonely place to be. Over and over I kept saying, I just want to feel peace. I just want peace. Yet, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t save myself.

And then I had a dream that I became blind and paralyzed. When I awoke from the dream, I was very disturbed. I didn’t know what it meant. But what’s interesting is that I was blind––blind to the truth. And I was paralyzed, for there was no way that I could have saved myself from the pit of darkness that I found myself in.

Soon after, I called my friend, Sarah, and asked her, “What church do you go to?”

“Oh, my church? It’s called Grace. Do you want to go?”

“I don’t know. Can you tell me about it?” The following Sunday, my family and I went to church for the first time in over a decade. I was terrified, but more than that, I was desperate. It was my desperation that brought me to those church doors. While I didn’t know it at the time, the decision to go to church one Sunday morning would be the defining moment of my life.

While sitting in my seat––my mind only semi-present due to the anxiety––something miraculous occurred. God showed up. During the sermon, it was as if I were having a one one one counseling session with God, himself. The preacher’s message spoke to where I was that exact moment. It was powerful. I thought to myself, the sheer probability of that alone is crazy! So, I went back the following Sunday and the one after that, each time expecting the God-thing to be a fluke. But time and time again Jesus showed himself. I was given the proof that I needed, and through the grace of God, I went from blindness to sight as my eyes were opened to see His love and grace.

Yet, I was still fighting. All along the way, I fought Jesus as I tried to apply reason to faith. But in the end, Jesus won––as He always does. He rocked my analytical world. Tore down my every argument. And turned my life upside-down.

Over time, the anxiety and depression subsided leaving in its place a newfound joy and the peace that I so desperately sought. My life was set on a new path––one that followed my God and Savior, Jesus Christ. And that void that led me down the dark alley of my soul was filled with the love of Christ.

I had been made new.

God is good! Even though this was one of the most difficult seasons of my life, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Being submerged in darkness allowed me to see the brilliance and beauty of our Savior and led me to where I needed to be most––wrapped in the loving arms of our Father.

{Our darkest hour can lead us to the most beautiful light.}

How has Jesus led you through your darkest hour?

Leave a comment.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.