{Lessons Learned} Healing the Broken Places

Posted on May 16, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

I didn’t want to go digging around my past, but I knew I needed to. I knew some residual effects of my dad’s murder had to still be there. As I walked through some of the most difficult times in the weeks, months, and years following the murder, I remember thinking I sure hope this doesn’t screw me up.

My dad wasn’t married at the time of his death which meant that my brother, sister, and I were legally responsible for picking up the pieces when he died. Our extended family helped quite a bit––as much as they could, really, which I am so thankful for––but there was only so much they could do. My mom, however, was the backbone that held us all together, and I will forever be grateful to her for that. She played an integral part in the process of helping us wade through all the mess. (Thank you, Mom!)

Still, there were some things that my brother, sister, and I needed to take care of. No one could do it for us.

We were the ones who needed to put together the funeral arrangements.

We were the ones who needed to take possession of my dad’s house (which was where the murder took place) once the investigation finished.

We were, quite literally, the ones who cleaned up the mess that was left behind.

We navigated my dad’s estate through the legal process of probate, helped finish the construction of the home my dad was building for himself, got both homes ready to be sold, and sold them to their prospective buyers.

All the while, we were meeting with the District Attorney who was readying her case against Anthony and endured two and a half years of preliminary hearings leading up to the murder trial. Then, there was the trial itself, during which time my family and I sat for a week, day in and day out, listening to testimony after testimony, trying to avoid seeing pictures that might deepen the wounds, and hearing the defense attorney’s distortion of truth for the sake of winning his case.

This was also the time in my life that I was finishing up college, getting engaged, planning a wedding, getting married, and beginning my career as a teacher.

Truly, it was a crazy time in my life!

But after about three years, things seemed to settle down and come to a close. Justice was served and the estate was settled. And that was it. I feel like I was suddenly thrown into chaos, but at the end of three years, it all abruptly ended, and my life began to resemble a “normal” life once again.

I tried to put it all behind me. I tried to move on. Yet, no matter how hard I tried to rid myself of the pain, it still remained. It wasn’t until I met Jesus years later that I was led to rummage through all my junk and was finally able to allow Jesus to heal what had been broken.

But it wasn’t easy. In fact, it was one of the most painful, difficult seasons in my life. When we ask Jesus to heal us, we must understand that healing can be painful.

Healing a broken heart requires that we allow God to bring us back to our most broken places, to the darkness of our soul in order to see and understand our situation anew.

But it’s painful. It’s like opening an old wound, digging into it, removing the shrapnel that was embedded years before, and closing the wound properly for the first time.

Once we heal, the scars remain. But one thing I’ve learned is that it is God’s intention to take those scars, turn them into our strengths, and use them for our good and the good of others to His glory.

He is, after all, our Redeemer. What an amazing God we serve!

{Healing a broken heart requires that we allow God to bring us to our most broken places.}

Question: In what area do you need healing? Have you experienced healing? Was your healing painful? Share in the comments.

To read more about my process of healing, read {Lessons Learned} Healing Comes With Greater Understanding.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Forgiveness} Make No Mistake, Justice Will Be Served.

Posted on April 18, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

I’ve written about misconceptions about forgiveness before. But I believe one of the largest hindrances to forgiveness is a misconception that stems from childhood.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve negotiated peace between two children who are mad at one another. Regardless of what caused the issue, our peace talk usually goes something like this:

Me: “Tell her you’re sorry.”

Child (usually one of my daughters): “I’m sorry.”

The other child: “It’s okay.”

But it’s not okay. Many children are told by their parents (as I mistakenly did as a new parent) to respond to an apology by telling the other child that it’s okay.

But it’s not okay to bite one another. It’s not okay to hit one another. Simply put, it’s not okay to sin against one another. And when we tell children to say “it’s okay” in this context, we are not teaching them forgiveness, but instead, we are teaching them to accept the offenses that are committed against them.

I believe it is this teaching that makes us feel like forgiveness lets the offender off the hook. And it may be why many refuse to forgive.

When I was working toward forgiveness with Anthony, the man who murdered my dad, my sister (among many others) couldn’t understand what I was doing.

“It’s like you’re saying what he did is okay,” she kept saying.

“No,” I told her, “I’m not saying what Anthony did is okay. It will never be okay! What he did was beyond wrong, but ultimately, God tells us to forgive, so we must forgive.”

I went on to explain that God is the ultimate judge. We are not. [Tweet that] And when God asks us to forgive, He is asking us to release the offender over to Him that ultimate justice may be served. [Tweet that]

When we refuse to forgive, we are in our own small way taking justice into our own hands, enacting our own wrath and anger upon the offender. But we were never created to bear this heavy burden. After a while, this anger turns to bitterness which imprisons us and poisons our souls. But forgiveness releases us from this prison and frees us to live with peace.

Romans 12:19 says, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’”

Rest assured, we serve a just God. And He will see to it that justice is done. [Tweet that]

One way or another, the sins committed against you (like the sins you commit) will be reconciled. Either your offender, lacking saving faith, will take the eternal punishment of sin upon himself, or if he is a follower of Christ, his sins were paid for on the cross.

Either way, justice will be served.

So, instead of intently holding onto your offenses, allow Jesus to take them, freeing you to live the life He died for you to have. Romans 12:21 tells us, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Stop allowing your lack of forgiveness overcome you.

Stop allowing your past to cast its shadow upon your present. [Tweet that]

Release your anger to God.

Forgive.

And know, without a doubt, that justice will be served.

{Justice will be served.}

Question: What’s stopping you from forgiving? How does this truth change the way you view forgiveness? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Lessons Learned} Watch Yourself or Can a Christian Commit Murder?

Posted on April 15, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children. – Deuteronomy 4:9

Anthony claimed he was a Christian at the time of the murder, and I had a real problem with this. As a non-Christian and even after coming to Christ, I didn’t understand how someone who professed faith in Jesus could do something like this. Doesn’t a sin of this magnitude disqualify you from being a Christian?

You can’t claim to be a Christian and commit murder, I thought.

Recently, however, when telling me about a book he was reading by Kyle Idleman called Not a Fan, Anthony said,

“I wonder, had I not come to prison would I have stayed a fan of Jesus or become a follower? I knew Him. I went to Bible studies. I read my Bible daily, but I didn’t let him into every dark corner of my heart. I was not a follower. Now, I truly follow Him. But this book is an eye-opener.”

Anthony went to church faithfully before he committed the murder. As he said, he went to Bible studies. He read his Bible daily. He knew Jesus.

When I began to correspond with Anthony, I met with my pastor and asked him, “Is it possible for a Christian to commit murder?”

My pastor’s response? Absolutely. It is possible.

I wrestled with this issue for quite some time, but ultimately I saw that my pastor was right. One profound example of this can be found in the story of David. David was chosen, used mightily, and was called a man after God’s own heart both before and after he had Bathsheba’s husband killed. David was in a covenantal relationship with God––the equivalent of being a Christ follower today––yet he sinned greatly.

Now, I don’t know whether or not Anthony’s relationship with Jesus was authentic when he killed my dad, but it could have been. And honestly, this truth scares me, as it should all of us.

We must guard our hearts.

You see, we’re all prone to folly. We’re all prone to sin. And sin can creep in before we know it.

In one of my letters to Anthony, I said, “…you still cultivated the emotions and feeling that lead you astray. You still allowed your soul to be poisoned with hatred which ultimately lead to your actions.”

In response, Anthony said:

I may have cultivated the emotions that led me to be poisoned. But not hate, anger yes but I didn’t hate your dad. I did not go over to your dads house to kill him, to threaten and scare, yes. But having that anger in my heart opened me up to the possibility of something bad and as we know bad happened. – Anthony, November 2010

All throughout the book of Deuteronomy, God tells us to watch ourselves. Over and over again He says, “Take care, lest your heart be deceived” (Deuteronomy 11:16), “Take care lest you forget the Lord your God” (Deuteronomy 8:11), “Take care, lest you forget the covenant of the Lord your God” (Deuteronomy 4:23).

1 Peter 5:8 tells us to “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” Paul exhorts Timothy to “Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers” (1 Timothy 4:16).

Considering Anthony’s testimony and reading through each of these scriptures, this much is clear: we must guard our hearts to assure we don’t cultivate an environment for sin to grow. For, we can be led astray quickly.

{Guard your heart. Don’t allow sin to creep in.} [tweet that]

Question: What are your thoughts? How do you guard your heart or keep watch on yourself? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Lessons Learned} Healing Comes With Greater Understanding

Posted on March 23, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

In this brief video, I speak about how Jesus led me toward emotional healing from my past. Healing only came once I surrendered myself completely to Jesus and allowed Him complete access to my pain. Be sure to watch to hear about how Jesus brought me greater understanding which led to healing.

Healing Comes With Greater Understanding from Laurie Coombs on Vimeo.

{Greater understanding of the situations in our past can lead us toward healing.}

Question: Has Jesus healed you emotionally from your past? What was your experience? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Lessons Learned} No Sin is Justifiable: How Anthony Stopped Justifying Murder

Posted on March 18, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. – Ephesians 4:26-27

There is always a reason behind the sins we commit.

There is a reason I sometimes lose it and yell at my kids.

There is a reason I find myself rooting through my pantry, looking for something to fill me (though I’m not hungry), when I should be going to Jesus to be filled instead.

And there was a reason I stood in condemnation of Anthony, the man who murdered my dad, unable to forgive him for a decade.

Honestly, there are times when the reasons behind our sins seem legitimate. Sometimes our kids need to be disciplined. Sometimes we need to be filled. Sometimes we have been wronged.

The feelings we feel are legitimate. Sometimes, for example, we should be angry about the sins and atrocities committed in this world, for they anger God, and the anger we feel is what’s called righteous anger. But still, we must not sin regardless of whether or not there is a reason to.

No Sin is Justified

A couple weeks ago, I said all sins are forgivable, and this is true. All sin is forgivable, but ultimately, no sin is justifiable.

This issue was discussed extensively with Anthony during our correspondence. There was a reason Anthony killed my dad. And at one point, things got pretty heated as we discussed just that.

I felt Anthony was justifying the murder, saying that in some way he was justified to kill my dad because there was a “reason” behind what he did. As you can imagine, that didn’t sit well with me.

Anthony wrote:

I am in here with people who killed someone for no reason, or drugs or killed 2 people and have less time than me. I don’t think that’s justice. I am sorry.

We were discussing his sentence––life without the possibility of parole––which I believe is just for his crime. And when I read his words, I was set on fire. I responded and said,

…while you have said that you will “forever be sorry for what [you] did and how [you] hurt [my] family,” your last two letters seemed to indicate that you’re justifying your actions by claiming you had a “reason” for killing my dad. While I will never dispute the fact that my dad made some mistakes, there is absolutely no justification for what you did, and the fact that you had a “reason” for committing murder doesn’t make your actions any more or less of a crime.

Even though Anthony apologized for murdering my dad, I felt he was trying to justify his behavior. He, of course, didn’t see it that way. Anthony wrote back:

I have never said I had a “reason” for killing your dad but you wanted to know what led up to that day, what was my emotional state and such. I felt it was safe to give you an overview of the stuff leading up to it. This also seems to have been misconstrued as justification, not so.

Even though he maintained that he was not justifying his behavior, he repeatedly pointed to the actions of others involved, essentially saying, yeah I did it, but look what they did. When all I wanted to hear was, I did it. I am sorry. Period.

To Anthony’s credit, I asked him a lot of questions about the circumstances leading up to the murder. And he willingly gave me his perspective, which I am thankful for because it allowed me to gain greater understanding, leading to further healing.

Still, it felt as though he was using his “reasons” to justify taking my dad’s life. In my eyes, he was remorseful, but not yet repentant.

Months passed, and I was given grace to forgive despite Anthony’s justification. But then, I watched as Jesus began to change Anthony’s heart.

Two years later, Anthony wrote:

I needed to own what I did. I murdered a man. I did it…. I wanted to feel justified in what I did because the alternative was to hate myself, but when Laurie forgave me, she allowed me to forgive myself. I could also go to God humbly and ask his forgiveness. And God is so faithful, so I know I am forgiven.

Isn’t that why we all justify our sin? It’s difficult to live with ourselves once we come to understand that there is no one to blame but ourselves. Yet, there is comfort to be found in the forgiveness of God, which can be seen in Anthony’s story.

When we see his story, we see the power of God at work. God took an unrepentant murderer whose only option was to justify his behavior to escape self-loathing, and he transformed him by his grace. Jesus showed Anthony the Gospel. And Anthony finally came to a place of repentance and healing, as his excuses fell to the ground.

Through this process, both Anthony and I were shown that while the circumstances leading to sin can certainly bring understanding, they are by no means justification for our actions.

{There is always a reason behind the sins we commit, but no sin is justifiable.} [Tweet that]

Question - Each of us have been tempted to justify our actions at one point or another. I now I struggle with this from time to time. How about you? Do you take full responsibility for your sins or do you tend to justify your actions or place the blame on others involved? Share in the comments.

To leave a comment, click on the link above. This will take you to the post where you can leave your comment at the bottom.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

A New Creation: The Old Has Passed Away

Posted on March 3, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

While at a holiday party a few months ago, I ran into an old friend I hadn’t seen in quite some time. We were roommates in college (while Travis and I were dating) and were living together at the time of my dad’s death. He knew me pretty well back then, but after graduating from college, we saw each other only occasionally and lost touch.

I sat down next to him at the party, and before I knew it, he asked me about my writing. “I heard you’re writing,” he said. “What do you write about?”

The last time I talked with him, I wasn’t even a Christian yet (nor is he a Christian now). I knew my answer would not be what he’d expect.

I told him how I became a Christian. How I was given the proof and grace I needed to believe in Jesus. And how Jesus called me to love and forgive Anthony, the man who murdered my dad. And what God did through my journey toward forgiveness and the two and a half years of correspondence with Anthony.

He looked at me, mouth open, not knowing what to say. “Uh…wow, Laur. That’s crazy.”

“Yea. It is,” I said. “It’s amazing what God’s done in my life.”

Then after a moment, he said, “you know…the old Laurie would have just told Anthony to f*** off.”

I have to admit, I was a little surprised by this comment. But he was right. “You’re right,” I told him. “That’s exactly what I would have done. But I’m different now.”

He looked at me and simply nodded.

I am different now. Very different.

How thankful I am for grace.

A New Creation

When Jesus saves us, we literally become a new creation––we are born again. Second Corinthians 5:17 tells us, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”

We don’t need to live out of our old selves. The old has passed away. But instead, being a new creation, we live by the spirit which allow us to be different and empowers us to follow Jesus radically wherever He may call. [Tweet that]

Our new nature compels us to die to ourselves and be something different, something the world stands in awe of and can’t quite figure out. We can love like never before. We can forgive others like never before. We can reconcile relationships like never before. And we can allow Jesus to shine though our imperfect lives to those around us, bringing others to know and love Him.

This is how I want to live.

This is how I want you to live. Imagine how the world would change if Christians––ALL Christians––lived like this.

{Our new nature compels us to die to ourselves and be something different, something the world stands in awe of and can’t quite figure out.}

What has Jesus changed in you that is apparent to those who knew you before coming to Christ?

Leave a comment.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Guest Blog} I Forgive You – Written by: Anthony, my dad’s murderer

Posted on February 28, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

The latest letter arrived from prison a couple days ago. Anthony, the man who murdered my dad, said, “I sent you something I wrote, I feel God has placed this on my heart. I hope it’s something you’d consider putting on your blog.”

And to that, I say, “absolutely.” God has allowed both Anthony and I the opportunity to share this story with many. I believe it’s a story that needs to be heard, for there are many who remain chained to their past, to their resentment, their bitterness, and their lack of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a topic that will always resound in each of our hearts, mine included. It is so easy to hold on to our wounds, but what relief it is to finally let them go. [Tweet that]

So, without further adieu. Here’s a word from Anthony.

I Forgive You, By: Anthony

“I forgive you.” I read the words again. “I forgive you.” These weren’t just lightly said words from someone I had hurt with some casual remark. These words had come from the daughter of the man I had shot and killed eleven years earlier. [Tweet that]

Suddenly, the enormity of what I had done punched me right in the gut. Tears came, guilt threatened to overwhelm me. What had I done? How could I have done it? I asked God these same questions: how, why? He had always responded the same way Laurie did, “I forgive you.”

I had taken that forgiveness for granted, I mean I knew His word in 1 John 1:9 said if we confess our sins, God is faithful to forgive us, but the cost of that forgiveness began to sink in.

And how did that explain Laurie forgiving me?

Yes, God’s word also tells us in Matthew 6:14 that we are to forgive as we have been forgiven but how many of us actually do it or receive it? Especially from someone we had hurt so deeply. This is why Christ hung on that cross: forgiveness. Not cheap forgiveness in the form of words we throw around hoping to make everything better. But sacrificial, pain-filled forgiveness. Forgiveness the world can’t understand, even us sometimes.

I knew Laurie had not said these words lightly, that it was one of the hardest things she’d done. But I also knew that her relationship with Jesus would not allow her any other way, “I forgive you.”

How many of us have that kind of relationship with God? My guilty feelings weren’t only about what I’d done, but the realization that I didn’t have this kind of relationship with my Lord and Savior.

How many times had I judged another inmate because of his crime? Unforgiveness.

How many times had I angrily thought about the past? Unforgiveness.

So, when Laurie forgave me it set in motion in my life a new attitude. I wanted to know Jesus! I wanted the kind of relationship with Him that allowed me to forgive, to love, and to seek the fallen.

When you destroy someone made in God’s image, how can you make up for that? You can’t. But Jesus did, He died so that we can be forgiven. Because He did this for us, our relationship with Him must be sacrificial too. We have to forgive. How can we do anything less?

Die to self. We have to forgive even when it’s the most counterintuitive, painful, gut-wrenching thing we’ll ever do. [Tweet that] Because after that, love flows in and it fills up the space that the anger and the hate and the bitterness took up. And it just may save someone else!

Let His light shine in you. Unforgiveness dims that light. It starts with forgiveness.

Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sins are put out of sight. Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of sin. – Romans 4:7-8

{It starts with forgiveness.}

Have you experienced forgiveness like this? Or in what area do you need to experience forgiveness?

Join the discussion. Leave a comment.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

Will You Press Through to Get Into the Presence of God?

Posted on December 20, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

There is an account found in three out of the four gospels. It is the story of a woman who endured a discharge of blood for twelve years. One thing we must understand is that a condition such as this rendered the woman “unclean.” She would have been a lonely woman, devoid of touch or much companionship at all.

Come with me for a moment and imagine….

You are this woman.

You cannot touch others, and others cannot touch you. You’re outcasted. Desperate, you spend all your financial resources going to doctors. One after another. But they’re no help. Instead of seeing improvement, you only worsen.

Can you relate to this woman in any way?

Quite possibly, in some area of your life, you need help. You seek help––help that promises a solution to your problem––only to find yourself right where you began, or perhaps even behind a step or two.

Another solution is presented to you.

You find enough hope to take that step. You join another program or see another doctor which will hopefully lead you toward health, wholeness, satisfaction (whatever it is for you). But a few months later, you’re, once again, right where you began.

But then there’s news of this guy. He sounds pretty awesome. Perhaps He can help me, you think. There’s talk around your village that He’s passing through.

If only, you think.

If only you could see Him. Touch Him.

No. Your hope is greater than that.

This guy, some say, is the One. If only you could touch the edge of His garment. Then. Perhaps then, you would be healed. You would be free of this burden weighing heavy upon your shoulders.

You go out and see Him pass by.

Hope fills your heart like never before, and you know. All you need is Him.

But there’s a crowd. A large one, pressing in all around. How will you ever manage to get through?

You’ll have to press in all the more.

But along the way, you touch others––making them unclean––as you strive to reach your goal. And then, you’re there.

You see Him.

Reach out.

And touch the edge, just the edge, of His garment.

In an instant, you know. You’ve been healed. You feel it, and you’re filled with joy and relief.

But then, the Man turns around. “Who was it that touched me?” the man asks.

“It wasn’t me,” you join the crowd in saying.

“Master, the crowds surround you and are pressing in on you.” A men explains.

“Someone touched me, for I perceive that power has gone out from me.”

Knowing you won’t be hidden for long, you come forward. Trembling and falling down before Him, you explain your condition and tell of your healing. You’re afraid, for you have just done what ought not to be done. You touched others. But ultimately, you touched Him.

You look up, anticipating rebuke, but are met with compassion instead. ”Your faith has made you well; go in peace,” He says.

…

Oftentimes, we fail to see Jesus as the answer. But ultimately, it’s not what He can do for us that we need most. We seek Him for our needs, and He invites us to do so, but ultimately we are most in need of His presence. We need Him. It was His presence that made this woman well.

Coming to Jesus doesn’t mean He will heal all our diseases. It doesn’t mean our lives will become easy. Sometimes, by His providence, He allows certain conditions to remain. But coming to Jesus––into His presence––daily does mean we will be right where we ought to be. And from this place, all other things fall into place.

When coming to Jesus, you must be aware, however, that there will be hinderances, but my question to you today is this: Will you press through to get into the presence of God?

If you do, you will find yourself right where you ought to be.

{Press through. Jesus is your only hope. Your only salvation.}

What’s hindering you from coming into the presence of God today? Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

Freedom Through Grace

Posted on October 23, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

“He’s doing it again,” I told my friend, Sarah, “listen to this!” I read the letter I received that afternoon from Anthony.

“Why won’t he simply say ‘I did it. It was my fault. Period.’” I said. “He’s still trying to justify his actions! He committed murder! He killed my dad! There’s no justification for that!”

After talking it though, I sat down and began to type my response, adrenaline pumping through my veins. I wanted to rebuke him. Set him straight. He claimed to be a Christian now. Why isn’t he repentant? Why does he keep blame shifting? I thought.

I wrote, words pouring forth like flood waters out of my heart, addressing each of the issues and backing them with scripture. Oh, this is good, I thought, but I knew.

This was not the response God wanted.

I prayed, as I awaited direction from Jesus. Days passed and turned to weeks, and finally, the answer came.

Grace.

It was true. Anthony was far from where I wanted him to be. But, it was at this moment I felt Jesus speak to my soul. Leave Anthony to me. Now forgive. And honestly, the crazy thing is that I was given the grace to forgive. In this moment. In the midst of my anger.

I sat down to revise my letter to Anthony, and at the end of it, I wrote,

…despite the fact that we will probably never see eye to eye in all areas, I do forgive you…. I hope this finds you well, and I pray that God heals you from your past as He is doing for me. I pray that you learn to live your life for God wherever He has you, and that you’re able to find peace in this life.

Forgiveness set me free. I was free of the anger, the bitterness, and the pain that held me captive for over a decade.

What’s more is that after I extended grace, I witnessed a transformation that was almost palpable in Anthony, as Jesus brought him to a place of repentance and healing.

I was called to forgive. To love my enemy. To give Jesus unhindered access to the pain and bitterness which took residence in the deepest recess of my soul. Out of this––following Jesus into my unknown, scary places––I witnessed the redemption and grace of our mighty God.

We serve an amazing God.

A God who gives us grace to do the impossible.

A God who redeems.

And I encourage you today to place Christ at the center of your most broken relationship and extend the grace that was freely given to you.

…while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. - Romans 5:8

{Forgiveness sets you free!}

Question: Have you ever experienced freedom through grace or forgiveness?

Share in the comments.

To read more about my journey toward forgiveness, read Freedom Through Grace or {Redemption} Your Testimony May Have Saved a Life.

{Love Your Enemy} The Letter

Posted on September 14, 2012 by Laurie Coombs

It was May 18, 2010––close to 10 years after my dad was murdered––when my husband, Travis, came home from work with a letter in his hand. “You’ve got a letter,” he said.

“Thanks,” I said smiling as he handed it to me. I looked down to see a bold stamp on the backside of the envelope reading, “NORTHERN NEVADA CORRECTIONAL CENTER.”

Looking up at Travis, I spoke in a faint whisper, “I gotta…I gotta go. Take care of the girls.” I ran upstairs and into my bedroom, closing and locking the door behind me. I didn’t want my girls to see me like this. I heard my daughter ask, “What’s Mommy doing?”

“She just needs to take care of something,” Travis said, “Wanna help me with dinner?”

“Yea!” she said with glee.

I sat there, on my bed, for what seemed like hours simply holding the letter, tears pouring forth, willing myself to open it. Finally, the grace was given. I opened the letter and read.

Dear Laurie,

If you feel led to visit me I’m OK with that. If the prison has a special format for a one time visit, I’ll sign the form. If not, and you have to get on a visitors list, let me know and I’ll submit the paperwork. Please know that no matter what happens I am truly sorry for what I did, most especially to your family. I wish I could take back that day, every day. Again, Let me know what needs to be done and I’ll do it.

Sincerely

Anthony

I sat there on my bed, reading these lines once, twice, perhaps more––it’s hard to recall.

There I was, holding a letter from him––the man who murdered my dad. I was holding paper that he touched. I was seeing his handwriting. These were his thoughts written on the paper that I held. The same hand that pulled the trigger that killed my dad wielded the pen that wrote this letter. The thought made my stomach turn.

I knew Jesus was calling me to love my enemy. But this is not what I signed up for. This is not how I thought it would go. This was not my plan. I didn’t want this letter.

It brought me back to the darkest chapter of my life, and I really didn’t want to go there. Yet, I knew I needed to. I knew Jesus was leading me toward forgiveness and healing. So, I would follow––by the grace of God––no matter the cost.

After my emotions began to settle, I wrote in my prayer journal and said,

Thank you, my Lord, my God, for this trial – thank you for pointing me toward forgiveness – I know that this is from You – I know that it is Your will for me to forgive and to go through the process of forgiveness – help me through it. Lead me through it – let me follow You and Your will completely….

Help me to let go of my anger and bitterness. Heal me my Lord! Help me to find strength in You and to do this while holding Your mighty hand – Help me to have and act on great faith – to take that step out on the water with You in complete trust that it will be OK and that You will take care of me as Peter did! I know it is Your will for good to happen in my life…

Help me to love my enemy – show me what to do – do it through me! Please Lord help me to walk by Your Spirit and let You work in me and through me! …

Bring Your light into my heart and let Your light banish all darkness from my soul! …I choose you! …I choose to forgive completely. I choose to love others including my enemies! Help me to be Christ centered – other centered – at all times…. Thank you, my Lord!

In Jesus name,

Amen

The Lord is good. And He saw me through.

Being on the other side of this trial and many others, I know all too well that the things we’re called to are never easy. Jesus himself said, “the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life” (Matthew 7:14), yet it is when we follow, knowing that difficulties will come, that we truly see and experience life.

I pray that each of us, myself included, continues to stay close enough to our Guide as He leads us along this crazy thing called life.

{It is God’s plan that is the best plan. Follow Him.}