I Don’t Need Help! or Learning to Receive

Posted on: April 11th, 2013 by Laurie Coombs

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. – Proverbs 27:17

proverbs 27:17, I want to quit, burn out, burnout, why do we get burnt out, burnt out, exhausted, receive, receiving, i don't receive well, i'm the helper, i don't need help, learning to receive, I help others, people rely on me, lies, lies we believe, weakness, a sign of weakness, needing others, interdependent, interdependency, God's design, we need each other, Bible, Jesus, Christ, Christian, forgive, forgiveness, christian forgiveness testimony, dependent, dependent upon God, Father, God the father, life, approval, instruction, wisdom, blessing, grace, mercy, forgiveness of sins, the gift of the holy spirit, holy spirit, power through jesus, why did jesus die, communion with God, communion with one another, one another,  build up the body, building up one another, John 13:35, disciples, love one another, serve one another, hospitality, fellowship, bear one another's burdens, burden, church, church of christ, body of christ, 1 Thessalonians 5:11, blessing, bless, allow others to bless you, be a blessing,

A couple months ago, I found myself sitting at a small table in Starbucks. Across from me sat my leadership coach.

“I don’t think I can do this any more,” I told her. “I’m burnt out. I’m doing too much, and honestly, I don’t think I’m doing anybody any good at this point.”

I came to this meeting to quit. I had been leading a small group of women from my church in a weekly meeting for over two years. But at this point, I was exhausted. I didn’t feel I could do it any longer.

After I explained the situation, she said, “Honestly, I don’t think you know how to receive very well.”

Yes, I do. I thought, perplexed.

“You’ve done a great job of making yourself a commodity,” she continued, “but you don’t allow others to pour into you.”


I left, still leading this group of women, still wanting to quit, and pondering what I had been just told. After much thought and prayer, however, I realized that my coach was right.

I don’t receive well.

I’m the Helper; I Don’t Need Help!

Since our meeting, God has been calling me to receive. It’s like He’s holding out both hands toward me, offering the fullness of Christ, saying, Receive, Laurie. Allow me to pour into you. Allow others to pour into you, and receive all the riches of my blessing upon your life. 

But it’s hard. It’s not how I’m wired. Recently, I found myself saying I’m not the one who needs help, I’m the one who helps others. 

You see, from the time I was a child, I was the “helper.” I helped my mom with my special needs sister. And I helped my family get through my parents’ divorce. I’m the helper. People rely upon me.

And I guess somewhere along the way, a lie infiltrated my consciousness, telling me that I don’t need others to help me, that I can do it all on my own, that needing others is a sign of weakness.

But none of that is true. We all need help. We were not created to live completely unto ourselves. We need God. And we need each other. Our interdependency is part of God’s perfect design, not a flaw.

The Word Receive in the Bible

I just completed an inventory of the word “receive” in the Bible.

And scripture is clear. We were created to receive. To live in complete dependence upon God and to receive all things from Him. Just as a baby helplessly relies upon his parents for all things, so too, are we to live in complete reliance upon our Father.

All things come from God, so one way or another, we must receive. Scripture says we receive life, approval, instruction, wisdom, righteousness, blessings, grace, mercy, forgiveness of sins, the Holy Spirit, and power through Jesus.

Jesus died that we may experience the fullness of life. But, we must receive Christ, through faith, in order to receive that life.

It is true: we were created to be in communion with God. Yet, we were also created to be in communion with one another. To help one another and build one another up as the body of Christ.

We Need Each Other

Embracing our need for one another is not a sign of weakness, but of strength. John 13:35 says, “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” We are called to:

Love one another.

Serve one another.

Forgive one another.

Show hospitality to one another.

Have fellowship with one another.

Bear one another’s burdens.

Just think about what the church would look like if we brought these commands into our relationships. It’s about serving others and allowing others to serve you. You see, “Two are better than one… For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).

I am now coming to understand that it is when we don’t allow others to pour into us that we become weak.

We need each other.

Each of us have been given gifts for the purpose of building one another up. Let us use them and receive support from one another. Paul said it well when he wrote, “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

{Allow others to bless you that you may continue to be a blessing others.}

Question: Can you relate? How might we all become better receivers? Share in the comments.

Comments are closed.